Hi Anti, I was in a relationship for the past 6 months. She is doing her MBBS and I am a 2nd year engineering student.

We have met twice in the last month and spent the whole day together. We talk on the phone everyday for hours and have a very strong relationship. We have a good understanding and solid plans about living life together, but yesterday she called me and said that our relationship is not legal and that she is leaving me. At that time I said to her that you are right, but that we have a pure relationship. The phone call lasted 23 minutes and that was at noon. Since then she has not been picking up the phone. What should I do? Boyfriend

Dear Be-Good, Oh dear, life really is what happens when we have it all planned. Your letter really goes to show how different perceptions can be. You thought you had found THE ONE, but your girlfriend clearly didn't think so. I know it hurts but at the mo the fact is that your girlfriend has moved on. Accept it and absolutely stop calling her. She doesn't wish to speak to you, hence calling her amounts to harassment.  It's a bit early to say whether this is a phase or a life-defining tangent for you, but you would do yourself a world of good by being kind to yourself, having a good cry, treating yourself (and perhaps a friend) to a movie and some ice cream. Really just nurture yourself.

Dear Auntie Agni, I am a doctor by profession, currently working in a pharmaceutical MNC with a demanding job which consumes most of my day. I reach home at around 7 or 7.30. I am also doing my executive MBA on weekends and have been married for more than a year. The issue with me is that I am just doing too much and always feel rushed. At work I am always trying to meet deadlines, at my MBA classes I am always short of time for the assignments and this affects my grades as I hardly get time to study. Then there is often travel for some official event on weekends which I always hate as I need to skip classes. After I get home I am so dead, I still have to rush to the kitchen to prepare food (though my mother-in-law and even my husband help me a lot with chores and are very understanding ). There are still some rules though which I have to follow such as no food from hotels and no cooks (this upsets me at times). At the end of the day when I go to my room after dinner I am so cranky and tired that I hardly talk to my husband. He often feels bad too though he doesn't say so but I feel it as I often get offended by small things. All this is making me think that I should leave the MBA programme, because I feel guilty about my husband who has been so supportive and understanding of my career and education.

Also I am planning a child and I am scared because I will have to leave everything aside and it's not an easy thing to get a job at an MNC.

At work I hardly have time to talk to people. Similarly at my classes, I rush out as soon as the class ends. The result is that I haven't been able to make a single friend at work or even at college although I have always been very friendly as a person.  I hardly get time to go to my parent's place without being in a rush to come back. I haven't been able to go shopping in ages. Rushed

Dear Slo-mo, Whoa woman, slow down! You have to sit down and decide what is really important for your future and let somethings go. My instinct is (only because you mentioned that option in your letter) that you might want to drop the MBA programme.  Let it go. You're doing it for a purpose but perhaps that can wait for when you are done with other things. That will free you up to do your job. Also can you get help with the cooking (if you absolutely have to cook)? Are there some cooking tasks that your mother-in-law can do, especially since she sounds like she is home for the day? Expecting you to rush back from work at 7 and cook for them is an unreasonable expectation from such an understanding ma-in-law and hubby. Or maybe you can cook on alternate days with your mother-in-law cooking in between.

Apart from generally slowing down you also have to stop your mind racing ahead to the next task.  Next time when that happens, just bring your mind back to what you are doing. Focus on the task at hand. Look carefully at the food you are eating or the tomato that you are cutting and only focus on that. You can take this a step further and take downright pleasure in whatever it is that you are doing. That means noticing the redness and juiciness of the tomato and marveling at it. This has to be done consciously, but it absolutely has to be practiced (and it takes quite a bit of practice to do this). Also avoid staying connected all the time. Switch off your cell phone or leave it behind whenever you can. When you have managed to free up some of your time, go out and socialise. And when you meet your friend shut off your phone, meet them and really focus on what they have to say. If your mind wanders off to thinking about your own life, bring it back and focus on your friend again.

Avoid the temptation to multi-task. Try and do one thing at a time and if the urge to multi-task takes over, just take a deep breath and bring yourself back.  One way to do this is to really enjoy what you are doing and being in the moment. Thus if it is the dishes you are washing, avoid making tea at the same time. 'Get into' the dishwashing (don't forget to enjoy the look of shiny plates) and then move onto the tea (savour the colour and fragrance as you make your cup)…you will do both tasks well. And whenever you feel you are beginning to stress out, just pause, take a deep breath and focus on the air going in and leaving your body. That should help you slow down.

Auntie will not reply privately to any query. Please send concise queries to auntieagni@gmail.com