Being a Pakistani abroad
—Photo Illustration by Faraz Aamer Khan/Dawn.com
‘Where are you from?’ is generally the first question people here in the Emirates will ask you. That is because with people from over a 100 nationalities settled in the UAE, this is quite literally, the melting pot of cultures – (melting pot of course would also refer to soaring mercury levels!)
When you meet people through work, or friends or merely at the park or at a mosque and if you do strike a friendship, this question, like I said features quite early in the conversation. The other day, I met a girl at the mosque and when I asked where she was from, she said, “I was born and bred in the UAE and have been here all my life.” I could easily make out that she wasn’t a local Emarati, so I wondered aloud if she was in fact a local. To this the girl replied abashedly and almost grinding her teeth, “Well, my parents hail from Pakistan, but I’ve never really lived there,” she added defensively. So the girl was a Pakistani herself, because as is common knowledge, Arab countries do not grant their nationality upon you even you’ve lived in their country for generations, or if indeed you are born on their lands.
In a place like the United States or Canada, where one does eventually receive citizenship, many Pakistanis with foreign passports refer to themselves as ‘Americans’ or ‘Canadians’. A Pakistani woman I know who settled in Sydney a few years ago insists that she hails from Down Under. I personally don’t understand this. Just because someone owns something other than that green passport, does it change their roots?
I have often come across Western educated Pakistanis who after being born and brought up in the Pakistan have left it and have settled in the US or UK. They now read Urdu with a perplexed expression on their faces, almost as though it were ‘cool’ to stutter whilst reading Urdu, because you ‘forgot’ it.
It seems mystifying at first, the fact that sometimes Pakistanis abroad do anything to conceal their nationality. It should be noted that I am not making a generalisation here as there are some Pakistanis abroad (myself amongst them) who are perfectly happy and proud of being Pakistani, and couldn’t care less about what anyone would think. They read Urdu with zeal and are glad to say that they belong to Pakistan.
However, I have also encountered quite a few who seem to think being connected to the land is one of their greatest misfortunes. As we look further into this behaviour, we realise that they do have valid reasons. First after 9/11 and more recently the OBL Drama in A-bot-a-baad, Pakistanis especially in the West are looked down upon. The word ‘terrorist’ hovers around and a balanced person with a fairly harmless agenda in life is looked upon with scepticism. A Pakistani friend who moved to the United States from Dubai now tells anyone who asks that she is from the UAE, even domestic help she plans to hire on an hourly basis, because personal experience has taught her that saying ‘Pakistani’ will invite needless suspicion from just about anyone.
In the UAE, I can personally vouch for the fact that anyone who is not a local (Emarati) or a gora, is subject to some kind of prejudice, and Pakistanis too are scrutinized in a circumspect manner.
With the current situation in Pakistan, where nearly every day one wakes up to the horrifying news that there was a bomb blast in such and such place, and with our infamous track-record, not to mention our political leaders, the wariness people sometimes feel around Pakistanis is somewhat justified. But the fact that an entire nationality is shown disrespect, for the misdeeds of a few bad eggs, is very unfortunate. These are tough times to be a Pakistani. You are stopped at the airport and questioned ruthlessly, you are looked down upon in other countries and the word terrorist seems to be on everyone’s mind.
One wistfully thinks of how wonderful it would be if being Pakistani was once more considered a privilege rather than an unlucky aberration. This land was acquired with lots of hard work and struggles by honourable men and women. Cynicism, I realize is a staple in our people but the fact is that we need to believe, in ourselves and in our country. We as the youth need to know that Pakistan, with its indomitable spirit may yet rise again, and that it is us who can make a real difference.
Mehmudah Rehman is a Dubai-based freelance writer who blogs at Ummanaal’s Musings.
The views expressed by this blogger and in the following reader comments do not necessarily reflect the views and policies of the Dawn Media Group.
Impression of Pakistan in foreign lands.
Innocent people are being killed in Karachi by dozens on a daily basis for quite sometimes but the naïve Pakistani leaders from all stripes are debating on the constitutionality of deploying Army in Karachi and just lip service and attractive words to news media every now and then. They have absolutely no value for human lives as long as members of their families are not hurt.
Any suggestions for people who came here a long time ago and are already known to others as Pakistanis? How can they hide the Pakistani background?
I migrated nearly 4 decades ago, my feelings about being a Pakistani have not changed at all. I am proud to mention myself a Pakistani when asked. I and my children frequently visit Pakistan and have the times of our lives, You feel sense of belonging and the immense happiness when meeting and greetings friend and relatives in Pakisran. At the same time I love and respect the country of my residence.
Well, I live in United States and I've never been hesitant about my origin. I tell everyone I'm from Pakistan. I’m always curious to see people’s reaction and answer their questions about Pakistan. Although I have United States citizenship now, lived here for over 6 years, this does not change the fact that I was born and raised in Pakistan. I look alike any other Pakistani and surely my thick accent will make it obvious that I'm not an American born. I had the opportunity to change my name when I became US citizen and some of my Pakistani friends suggested me to re-name myself to identify as an American. I refused. It's not that I'm very proud to be a Pakistani. I'm NOT. And you can't convince me to be. I didn't change it out of respect for my parents, who gave me this name and also it wouldn't change anything for me. My skin color and accent will always tell the truth. I’ve got the same opportunities and respect as any other American. And I’m proud being a Pakistani American.
This story teaches a lesson to all Pakistanis living abroad.
A close relative of mine, a Pakistani living in a city of a Western country (I do not want to name the country to identify him in any way) with significant number of Pakistanis, was looking for a house to buy. He told me he does not wish to buy a house where Pakistanis live in the vicinity. He said Pakistanis will drop by anytime, will just knock at the door without phoning ahead of time. They will come and gossip for hours late at night and my wife has to do cooking and serving them. He finally bought a house away from where Pakistanis live and he was very happy.
Leave alone the fact that some pakistanis who live abroad, although they look like pakistanis but want to be called something 'apart' than that, atleast they strived to change their identity.. The sad part is, those living in pakistan, well some of them, detach themselves so easily from their society that they speak urdu in an english accent and treat their actual language as a second one, treat dupattas as an extra weight on their fragile bodies and in all ways dislike the the norms and customs of their society, looking up to the so called 'amreekan' system and try to blend it with theirs, which is sooo unlikely impossible..hence tge word 'burger' is derived!
A well written article indeed!
Peace in the sub-continent can happen only if Pakistanis in Pakistan are happy and at peace with themselves, and by being part of the sub-continent. May that happen soon ! Frankly, identity-crisis of people of sub-continent origin living overseas, is secondary.
What, people from the land of Sindhu/ Indus are feeling shame? How did it come to that? Then please fix it. No one else will, or can. Be proud, our friends and neighbours. Many from your eastern neighborhood (the big bully) are proud of you, even in your most difficult times, then how can you remain despondent? The land of Indus, indeed is the Pak and blessed land. Friends, if there are problems, please fix them. Your well wishers would like to see you thriving and happy.
I am a Pakistani living abroad. My ancestors , historically migrated from Arabia during Arabian invasion of India. Should I call myself Saudi? It is a fact of life that when people migrate eventually their identity changes. For exampke my grand children who would be born outside of Pakistan will have nothing in common with my generation of Pakistanis. And the future generations of Pakistanis would not call themselves Pakistanis. There are Italians, Spanish and some other citizens living in America whose ancestors migrated long time ago are all Americans.
Unfortunately original Pakistanis have very little to be proud of because of the 60 years of mismanagement of Pakistan as a country and the behaviours of Pakistanis at home and abroad. We do not like to know the truth about ourselves. Unless we face the truth about ourselves and try to achieve and project ourselves as decent, honest, law abiding citizens, we will be looked down upon.
Noone wants to stay behind from others in any way in life and when you are one of the best and work for excellence then offcouse you want your mother land to be known by the rest of the world with respect, Im also a Pakistani living in a developed country and I tell everyone that I am from Pakistan however I would love to invite my friends abroad to my mother land for atleast a visit, can I do that ?
No and thats what makes people feel looked down at, I have not met anyone treating me badly infact I receive the rights that I had to struggle to get in Pakistan however its understood that Pakistanis are people who want to live in all the countries of the world but cannot invite others to their own country, then who is needy Pakistani of others? who will feel looked down at (whether its true or not) Pakistani or others? Please fix Pakistan there are a thousand reasons to do that.
I moved from Pakistan to UK when i was very young, when anyone asks me where i am from i say Pakistan immediately. Personally i think it is really cool that i am from Pakistan. I have relearnt Urdu and many of my mainly gorai friends think its well cool that i can read and speak Urdu. I find if you say you are from Pakistan with confidence and you feel cool, others think you are cool. Whatever is happening in the world, believe it or not, Pakistan has a serious cool factor. And I am a Pakistani, born in Azaad Kashmir. and I LOVE this fact.
This article really touced the soul. Forget about bieng in overseas I have heard so many aunties in Islamabad praising their children who failed in Urdu. Living in Los Angeles I have come across a lot of Pakistanis. Those who have been groomed in Pakistan always say with pride that We are from Pakistan. Only those who have been born and bred here try to hide their identity. Some Pakistanis who did O'Levels and A'Levels do feel proud to speak English even in a desi gathering. All those Englishmen are stock of fun for mainstream.
Musharraf was born in India? Do you think it is wrong that he calls himself Pakistani instead of remembering his roots? No? Well why then such antagonism for people born in Western nations who identify themselves based on where they were born rather than where their parents were born?
It is a grim fact that the image of Pakistan has been tainted internationally. It is up to the citizens now to restore the standing of the country, in the international arena.
I am an Australian who was born in Pakistan…….I live in Australia i earn in Australia I studied in Australia and when i took oath in my citizenship ceremony all my loyalities shifted to Australia. I will always remember my roots where I used to live but now my Country is Australia and honestly i feel nothing wrong in it.
Also one more thing notion that Pakistan has negative image due to some wrongdoing by few number of people is void pakistani society in general have become extremists……….
The article has reality and perhaps the thoughts that a lot of Pakistanis including me living abroad do notice in peoples behavior. I believe that the most that has affected people is indeed cynicism and stereotypes that, now becoming more and more synonymous for Pakistanis, either living in Pakistan or abroad. It could be wrong but, in my opinion if there is any institution that remains hold trust of people of Pakistan is media. This might be hard if people are encouraged to help themselves in motivation and self realization as at many times this get turned down by using this the fact of no helpful resources around. But only the Pakistani media could work more as a whole and take nation towards progress, while also keeping them informed with the present. Pakistan needs structure and Pakistanis all over requires a boost in their self esteem for this perception change.
I thought like this up until a couple years ago. It is not that people are ashamed of being Pakistani, it is simply that they have lost all connection to it. How can you call yourself Pakistani when you have never lived there, do not speak the language, do not eat the food, or enjoy any aspect of its culture? Yet, you have lived in Canada (for example), speak the language, eat hamburgers, and wear jeans. They call themselves Canadian because they are. Accept immigration for what it is, a change in nationality, not temporary, but permanent.
I have been in the US for he past 20 yrs and even though I have a US passport, you can't get rid of the Pakistani in me. The chances to read Urdu are less especially when the days of newspaper are gone and you are much more used to getting news on the net (unless someone is an avid reader, which I am not). The writer has valid point and I have seen families around me who talk to their kids in English. I have never talked to my kids in English and made an effort to teach them Urdu and when they get a bit older they will be taught to read and write as well. But I do want to bring another point, which is Pakistanis living in Pakistan forcing themselves to speak English… the students asking questions to Imran Khan at the universities choose to ask questions in English fulling knowing everyone in the hall understands Urdu…the talk show host continuously interject English phrases in Urdu.. the real standard of Urdu in TV dramas have gone down so much… you pick any PTV program 20 yrs ago and listen to the melodious Urdu being spoken compared to half Urdu/half English these days…
This is the worst thing a country can face that even theur own people start disliking bing called with its name
I am a pakistani residing in UAE i never felt ashamed by saying that i am a pakistani whereas most of my fellows here they always try that this question shold not be asked.
Every pakistani restaurant everywhere from Singapore to Canada to US, has "some Pakistan – Indian" restaurant.. But Indian restaurants never every portray that… Because Indian sells and hence everything… Ask every hindu in Pakistan, if given as opportunity to settle in India, they would readily accept it. Ask any Muslim in Pakistan if they wish to settle in Pakistan, then answer is absolutely NO.. This answers the secularism available in India
You can change your passport, citizenship, even your religion, but NEVER your ethnicity. In WW2 after the Pearl Harbor attack, the US rounded up thousands of Japanese, who had a history of 3 generations of living in the US as US citizens, and put them in confinement till the war was over. why? because despite hailing from families that were "US citizens" or "Americans", they were, before anything else, Japanese. its really silly of migrants to think they've become American, British, Australian etc. just because they get new passports.
So if we believe your argument Obama is not American.