A human-centric paradigm for Pak-India relations
The historical narratives on each side enhance the suffering by invoking the troubled past and consequently instill further animosity against the other. – AP Photo
Queen Victoria and Prince Albert had a quarrel, as it occasionally happens in a marriage. One word led to another, and suddenly Prince Albert angrily left the bedroom, went to his study, slammed the door and locked it. Queen Victoria ran after him, knocked on the door and demanded, “Open!” There was no answer. She pounded the door with her fist and shouted, “Open at once!!” No answer. She shouted at the top of her voice, “I am the Queen of England, Scotland, Wales and Ireland, the Empress of India and of the entire British Commonwealth, I am the Commander‑in‑Chief of all the British armed forces, and I order you hereby to open this door!!!” No answer. Finally she said in a soft voice, “Albert, I am sorry, I love you and miss you.” Only then did the door opened.
A kind professor, Dietrich Fischer shared this story with me some years ago. The account makes it quite clear that in the heat of the moment things happen, egos flare, conflict exposes itself, and violence can occur. Regardless of what else went on for the couple to actually reconcile, there are a few important lessons to learn from this story.
The first step towards harmonious relations that one must take, which is perhaps the hardest, is to forego one’s ego. One must come down from an egoistic pedestal to a more human(e) level in order to connect with the other by undergoing a self-transformation. The second step is to practice empathy by looking at the conflict from the other person’s perspective. The third step is to offer a genuine and sincere apology, if merited, or at the least show regrets. Mere human compassion will win over and the door to engagement and understanding will ultimately open.
This is not simplistic idealism. It has been a very real experience for Qais Hussain who was a PAF Flying Officer during the 1965 war with India. On an interception mission, he shot down an Indian aircraft following a calculated decision of his superiors, and civilian lives were lost. Hussain showed discipline and commitment in his duty to serve the country. But regrets surfaced after the incident and never left the pilot once it was confirmed that the plane carried civilians. Four and a half decades later, Hussain reached out to the families of the people who died in that incident and extended his sincere condolences and regrets through email first and a televised link later. He did not offer any apologies as it was not his decision to shoot. “I never had a guilty conscience or I would not have been able to sleep. I was filled with sorrow for the unfortunate loss of lives,” Hussain clarified. He also wanted to set the record straight after some speculations in the Indian media about the incident. However, reaching out to the ‘enemy’s’ side and offering condolences for the death of civilians alone is to connect at a very human level and has its consequences.
This act, in a way, ignores the divide between the two states of India and Pakistan, both of which behave in an egoistical manner towards each other. It is a reminder that human loss and suffering has no territorial affiliations since there are humans at the receiving end on both sides of the conflict. These tragic experiences are universal and exactly the same for a Pakistani and an Indian. One must also hail the response of the families of the people killed. They were touched by the action of the former Pakistani pilot and graciously accepted his remorse and returned it with equal compassion. It was indeed a moment to celebrate humanity.
In this action and reaction we see a foregoing of egos, connection at a human level instead of a state level, empathy for the other’s perspective, transformation of an imaginary and conflicted relationship between people of opposing sides, and as a result of all this, an opening of doors for further engagement, dialogue and understanding.
The act of Hussain does not make him a lesser soldier or a lesser Pakistani or even a lesser Muslim as some have suggested. Quite the contrary! Allama Iqbal rightly described the delicate balance between terror of an attacking warrior and the compassion of his humanity in the person of the believer: jis se jigar-e-laalah mein thandak ho woh shabnam / dariyaaon ke dil jis se dehel jaaen woh tufaan! The shabnam and tufaan are not mutually exclusive; in fact they are complementary and of the same essence. Hussain has acted in the tradition of the popular vision of a chivalrous Muslim warrior and by its extension an ideal Pakistani soldier.
As for the conflict between India and Pakistan, the action of one man on the Pakistani side and the reaction of others on the Indian side are not going to change anything overnight. But it does three important things. Firstly, it furthers the people-to-people diplomacy at the grass-roots level which helps to build pressure from the bottom-up on the governments to take positive action. “Only good can come out of this,” Hussain said.
Secondly, it challenges and transforms the collective sub-consciousness of the two countries. Each side has inflicted injuries on the other. The historical narratives – that are often based on religious and cultural stereotypes – on each side, enhance the suffering by invoking the troubled past and consequently instill further animosity against the other. These narratives are part of the collective memories of the society and trigger a knee-jerk reaction against the other. By replacing, to some extent, the old memories of bloodshed and hatred with new memories of human compassion, the collective sub-consciousness is transformed, and both sides become able and ready to deal with the present in a less hostile environment. These acts do not remove the scars of the past but help in better healing and moving on from the negative past towards the positive future.
Lastly, such acts bring the focus back on the human cost of the conflict. From a power-centric paradigm of India-Pakistan relations, it brings focus to a human-centric paradigm – a paradigm that is much more realistic in its approach towards enduring peace and harmony in the region.
The writer is a faculty member at LUMS.
Kiss and make up is not going to happen. Why invest one's emotions on making that effort? What's wrong with the way things are at present? Each country can keep doing its own thing.
One thing I do not understand, why Indians keep on saying that we (Pakistani & Indians) are the same people and share the similar cuisine, culture, language and etiquette. I think Indians get some sort of satisfaction in saying that. My friend, I have been living here in the US for the last 25 years and I can tell you with experience that we are not the same people and do not share any thing starting from culture to language to food. We are and will be absolutely two different people.
Tell me Jdsahmi, after staying in the USA for 25 years what would you know about the history if your ancestors?By the way,what are you?A pakistani,Indian or an American.
@jdsahmi : I agree with you completely.
This situation can only be solved when the people of Pakistan and India elect pragmatic and knowledgeable people who put nation first.Unfortunately this is not the case.Politicans make use of cast,language and culture to get the votes.Add to this your armys loathing of India.Nothing is going to change.It is all wishful thinking.
excellent article
Aurangzeb has raised a key issue – the necessity to give up ego. I have argued in many blogs, that the only sustainable route for sustainable development of its economic, human and cultural dimensions is to be allies with India.Not china, Not the USA and not anyone else, will be as close to the people of Pakistan than Indians. They share the similar cuisine, culture, language and etiquette. But Pakistan military first needs to give up the concept that India is an eternal enemy out to down Pakistan. Nothing could be farther from the true ground reality – India does not need to down Pakistan.
I agree with Kamaljit. Indians and Pakistanis are best of friends outside the subcontinent. I fail to understand what happens when we come back to our country. My view is – peace is not going to prevail in near future. There will be no Khan Chachas and no Kabuliwallahs. The world has changed forever! I am not a passimist. I consider myself an informed optimist. Too many innocent lives have been lost to terrorism. To forgive and forget is not easy. There is just one small hope. If and only if people of both countries see another human being as creation of God and love him without taking into account his country, his religion, his faith and his colour we have a fighting chance to survive. Other wise we all are doomed. A religious bigot with a nuclear weapon will wipe us all.
good article
Politicians should realise this and come down from their personal agendas to just Human levels. Muslims and Hindus are living together well and there are many such instances that have not surfaced. Should there be an attempt from both the nations in this directions we will see a peaceful south Asia in a near future…
Good artcle.
But a lot more is needed. Pakistan as a country was created on the basis of two nation theory which was based on an assumption that Hindus and Muslims cannot live together, time will tell whether that was right or wrong!
This is not a very helpful attitude. Two nations can live together with respect of each others sensitivities and rights. Two nation theory merely proposes that Muslims and Hindus are two separate nations rather than a homogeneous entity, which had become quite evident at that time and is clearer today. However, all attempts for a mutually acceptable constitutional agreement for the two entities to live together was thwarted by one particular group.
Please avoid slander. Two nation theory bashing will not help. It will only result in Pakistanis bashing one of the many possible Indian beliefs and attitudes. We can live together with peace and love without one side being the hegemony.
I agree with Shaukat.
Lets not dig the past and start making an autopsy.
lets respect the past.Right or wrong is just a perspective.
Two nations can live together in harmony regardless of the religion.
Look at the European countries which have been soo brutal to each other during the world war 2 but today they have buried the past and and biggest trade partners of each other.
We have to learn from Europeans( of course, they have learnt out of bitter experience of WW-II)how to live in peaceful coexistence, because unlike animals as Human beings we can & should learn from others experience.
You are absolutely right Sardar Abid. I totally agree with you.
I feel the whole episode of animosity between India and Pakistan centers in the military and bureaucracy of both the countries. If anything serious could be done regarding peace and friendship between both the countries, only the military and bureaucracy can do it. These two centers of power on both sides sabotage any initiative by the political side.
act of mr qais hussain is highly appreciable.he accepted his mistake and tried to assauge the pain inflicted by him in the discharge of his duties.if people on both side follow this example and accept thier mistakes a new era will dawn in the sub continent of peace and progress.qais hussain i salute you for displaying this courage.you are a true specimen of good soldiering profession.
By reading comments from Indians and Pakistan, I am afraid most Indians who commented have missed the point. Better yet look for the meaning of "EGO" and then read it. I can answer each and every comment but then what is the point of reading the article and not getting the message.
Very good…excxellent
Very well put together article, another winner from Dawn. However, praising only the Pakistani pilot for his large heartedness and not mentioning any friendly gesture from India seems a little one sided. Secondly, Pakistani people have to stop harping on Kashmir when their own cities are burning. Mutual trade is the only way to make a dent in destitution in both countries.
>>Mutual trade is the only way to make a dent in destitution in both countries.
Exactly!! the first step is to build a strong business relation wherein both countries cannot afford any animosity.. imagine a situation when the trade btn India and Pakistan amounts to some billions.. then all the problems will be solved. Interdependability is the only way out for the subcontinent.
well written. Still few commentators did not grasp the essence of the article.Emphasis is on to dont point fingers to other' follies but on self intrspection.This is tbe only way forward. Remember tbere is no way to peacd…but peace is the way.
We must see the ground realities and can not ignore the root cause of this animosity. Both countries must work honestly to reduce and gradually eliminate trust deficit. We have to match our actions with our words and promises. One can not afford a friendship gesture of Lahore bus trip but in return, a back stabbing by planning and launching a Kargil war. The first step must be to involve permanent civil elected government and keep the military under full control and discipline of civil govt. No back stabbing or any secret agenda. Its not difficult that we could move towards greater trust building and friendship but both must match their action with their clean hearts.
"We" have to redefine our "We" with the human element and the South Asian culture, and general code of ethics we all share. There is no conflict in being Muslim or Hindu and being human. Change, as suggested, will not come from offering policy suggestion on what our govt. or military have to do but with what we at our personal level can do. Its bottom up not top bottom.
So long as Pakistan allows outsiders to define her relationship with India, nothing good will come out. Pakistan needs to be independent country, then things will work out. The relationship between India and Pakistan is bad inspite of trying at Prime Minister level. Remember Lahore visit by Atal Behari Vajpayee and lot of good will generated between Vajpayee and Nawaz Sheriff, followed by military take over in Pakistan.
if people would have good enough to forget and forgive the past there would not have been a need for three countries.
Humanity is more important than anything. It is far more important than being an Indian or Pakistani.
There is no shortage of people with good intentions on both sides. However, there are deep vested interests, particularly of the army in maintaining this conflict. In order to do so, they have made common cause with the most extreme and virulent elements of the society. Add to this cauldron, national pride and it becomes impossible for the civil societies of Pakistan and India to come together.
Well Said.
A perfectly written article incorporating all aspects of India-Pak relations and not only proposing a political conflict resolution mechanism but also promoting cultural and historical ties.
Qais hussain's action is really touching, i think if we apply the same sprit to the whole relationship it will be very helpful…many things can be done in this regard from both the sides..lets start taking simple and small steps, the bigger things will follow automatically.
Can't understand,why qais can't apologise,he clearly entered Indian airspace,shot a civilian aircraft,well away from the border.Jhangoo clearly identified himself as a civilian by climbing up and waggling his wings (as qais says,asking for mercy).Even wartime does not excuse such inhumanity.My heart goes out to the victims families,who gracefully forgave him.Afterall what choice did they have.
The relationship of India-Pakistan is very complex. The two nation theory on which Pakistan was founded makes it difficult for Indians to be large hearted. It is for Pakistan to put its house in order- declare itself to be a secular country with Muslim majority, with secular constitution and reform its system.
Onkar,
Your comment misses the point of the author in its entirety.
In a situation like this, to transform the relationship one needs to turn inwards and find out what wrongs we've committed and acknowledge them. That would be a good start.
It is for Pakistanis to look at themselves, and not for us to point out. If all we do is to point fingers at them, and they at us we won't find ourselves in a different place than we are now. After all, that's all both sides did till now.
-An Indian.
Well Said.
A step in right direction…
Couldn't have agreed more with you.
-A Pakistani
we can be good friends& Neighbour without changing constitution.
We must understand the realities.I think people to people contact can be very helpful in this regard.Though we have very limited chances to contact one to one but inter net and people of both countries who live in other countries can make the difference