The sins of the fathers
Shakila was only eight-years-old when she and her cousin were abducted from their home. One night, men armed with AK-47s barged into her house and dragged her out as recompense for dishonoring an influential man in the district.
You may wonder how a girl of such tender age could have dishonored a grown up? Well, she had nothing to do with the offense; the wealthy man’s wife, however, had eloped with Shakila’s uncle. And the wealthy man wanted compensation the traditional way.
The young girls were confined in a dark room for three months. After about six months, they were allowed to wash their clothes for the first time. For sustenance, they were provided bread and water every alternate day. And they were repeatedly beaten.
“They tortured us in a way that no human being would treat another,” Shakila said to the New York Times.
Shakila’s case is not a unique one when we talk of Afghanistan; young girls are given away to make up for the wrongdoings of others, including murder, adultery and anything that’s not condoned by society. This custom dates back to jahiliyyah (the age of ignorance).
“For the nomads, there were no police, there was no court of law, no judge to organise the affairs of humans, so they resorted to the only things they had, which were violence and killing,” said Nasrine Gross, a sociologist, to the New York Times.
“Then, when a problem doesn’t get resolved, you offer the only things you have: livestock is more precious than a girl because the livestock you can sell, so you give two rifles, one camel, five sheep and then the girls they can sell this way,” she added.
The prevailing norm in the pre-Islamic era was subsequently criminalised when Islamic laws were codified. And the reasoning for outlawing this barbaric method of attaining justice (so to speak) is obvious: a girl is not property that can be given away for slavery to settle the score for someone else’s misdeeds.
This cultural form of justice — in which a girl is traded to settle the dispute — is called “baad.” The practice was deemed illegal as per the Elimination of Violence against Women Act of 2009, but it continues to prevail in Afghanistan. The reason given for the practice is the corruption in the legal system, due to which people resort to “jirgas,” where the local elders decide about what needs to be done. And, yes, giving away women to settle the dispute is in the cards.
One can’t say how common it is for girls to be traded to nullify the wrongdoings of someone else in the family. Even if a girl is married to a member of the aggrieved family, it doesn’t mean that she won’t be maltreated. Taking a girl in marriage has the advantage of ensuring that the feud will not continue because, by hook or by crook, the two families become relatives.
Shakila’s cousin escaped. And the beatings intensified for Shakila. One day she managed to escape and reach her sister’s house. The family was unable to recognise the malnourished Shakila.
What’s most troubling is that the family is not against the practice — this should give you a sense of how deep-rooted this tradition is in Afghanistan (and of course Pakistan). What troubled them was the fact that at birth she was promised in marriage to her cousin in Pakistan, hence she was not their “property” to give away.
“We did not mind giving girls,” Gul Zareen told the New York Times. “But she was not mine to give.”
The ordeal didn’t end there for Shakila.
The wealthy man ordered his men to search for her. The terrified family left their home in Naray, leaving behind their meager worldly possessions, including a cow and two goats. They’ve now moved across Kunar province to the provincial capital of Asadabad.
Shakila’s father has no hope of returning home.
Fahad Faruqui is a journalist, writer and educator. Alumni Columbia University. You can email him at fahad@caa.columbia.edu
The views expressed by this blogger and in the following reader comments do not necessarily reflect the views and policies of the Dawn Media Group.
Feudalism is still prevailing in Afghanistan, Pakistan and North India. The barbaric forms of religions and traditions are preserved by the landlords to make sure their hold is firm and ever-lasting.
Hi, Read your article but will not relate this to Islam….in the most modern societies they practice this by a different name…Africa, and united states as well, the rate of women rape, women exploitation at their job places, at their colleges, discrimination in wearing hijab….so what do you call that..I suggest instead magnifying our mistakes a good journalist should try to speak for the women rights, women respect in countries like Russia, America, London, Japan, China…..apnay logon ko degrade karna choor doo…..we have enough enemies so join our team..not theirs. Thanks.
Hi Anbrin, with due respect first of all two wrongs doesn't make it right. Further if your own home is on fire, will you be more concerned about the neighbor's? We have lived for too long by looking at others mistakes and forgot to fix ours.. what if the women issues in the countries you have mentioned are resolved 100% will the change the lives of Shakila and others in Afghanistan?
The Jirga system is basically a tradition of Pathans but they never supersede the Religion. Every thing that is forbidden remains as same but the hardcore Pathans have made some alteration to suit their interests.
Agree with all who say, it has nothing to do with Islam.But it's also true, that practicing Islam for a thousand years didn't change things much.
Fahad, you are risking your life when talking about the honor of Pathans and attacking their culture. One day, you could be their friend, next day their enemy.
In Pakistan or i believe in any other Muslim country, muslims listen to religious people and look up to them for the resolution of many social problems such as mentioned in this article. Unfortunately majority of our religious scholars and organizations are busy in teaching Islam from their own perspective and mentioning wrong doings in the society for the sake of mentioning it. If you look at the way Islam spread by prophet Mohammad (peace be upon him) then you will come to know that he taught Islam to the arabs by changing or abolishing the social problems such as gambling, drinking, adultery etc. I firmly believe that if our religious forces join hands and start jihad against these barbaric rituals the society will not only turn into a more civilized society but a better Islamic society.
whats with the author bringing in the "jahiliya" stuff into this?? i mean c'mon, islam has been around for more than 1500 years, more than 1000 yrs in Afghanistan and present day Pakistan for sure. And in both places its about 100% types. Its the same in most Arabic countries too. In a world where a muslim is killed by another for not praying the 'right" way, you still attribute a lifestyle/scial decision to something that old??
I believe most muslims have to stop blaming "others" for their poor state and have to accept responsibility for their actions, whether it is sanctified or not.
I as a Muslim have following to confess:
Many of our Muslim brethren are utterly confused about which code of conduct they should follow. The religion which they profess deeply or the traditions. Islam has nothing to do with whatever happened with the poor girl. If this goes on and on then it will be a mockery of the religion we are following. Islam is to practice and not to be heard again and again on the culprit of mosque listening to the Imam specially in Jummah prayers when we are deeply engross in listening to the practices of Prophet Mohammad (PUBH) His morality, His justices and love for children, and compassion for woman, after the sermon we come out of the mosque and get involve in our own culture. What a pity on us as ummah, shame on us. We are now left with our past glory, present confusions and grim future
You are so true.
Looks like my previous posting has raised a few heckles among your readers.I will never debase Islam.My religion [I am a Sikh] respects all religions.Maybe the way I articulated myself was wrong.For that I apologies to all of you.If you embrace a religion be it Islam ,Hinduism or any other there are certain terms and conditions attached.Your previous beliefs,culture and way of life has to change.You cannot hold on to them like in this case and proclaim that you are a staunch muslim.The fact is that almost all of Afghanistan is muslim.This is where the fallacy starts.Fingers get pointed at not the wrongdoers but the religion they practice.I am sure you know about the perception of Islam in the non muslim world .I made a mistake for which I apologise again.
Pathans still follow traditional code of ethics that pre dates Islam especially when family honour is at stake. They are proud of these traditions and therefore prefer 'Jirgas' are favourite method and tradition is preferred over faith when resolving such issues.
Although we consider our selves as muslims but our doings go contrary to the rules and regulations of Islam. Accepting Islam does not mean that we will enter into Janna but it means we must bring our daily activities according to the norms of Islam that will definitively bring favourable changes in the society. The writer rightly depicted one of the cruel unislamic act that is previaling in the Pathan society across the durand line. These things can only be vanished by good and quality education.
the practice of giving girls( to compromise/ snatching girls to settle the scores is deep rooted and accepted in the entire society including the mothers of those girls.the article has rightly pointed out that girls/ females are presumed properties( that too with lowest value ) and not human beings.The change in the mindset of the society in Afghanistan and some tribal area of Pakistan too can come with the spread/ awareness of modern values which will come with education and economic prosperity for all ( rich and poor) The process needs to be
accelerated.
Our society is more grabbed by culture and traditions that have nothing to do with religion. Pakistan isn't a good example of an Islamic state rather Afghanistan. The might is right notion circulates here and in pursue of power they forget the humanity.
Leaving Shakila aside, watching last year's victims of the flood, it was heart breaking to see so many young women ‘married’ to very old wrinkle-faced men, old enough to be their grandfathers. When will this cruelty and unfairness end? It seems young girls have no voice and are at the mercy of their parents’ depravity.
this act needs to be removed but if we seed deep we will come to know that the people of afghanistam are not getting basic necessities of life which is the basic reason for such type of happenings.
utterly shameful and disgraceful!!! that a child has to pay for crimes of an adult but then our society has decided to flaunt justice whenever it wants to..the fragile egos of weak and corrupt men have to be maintained through the suffering of childern…and our societies stand by silently and let this happen?!!
MY friend Raika45
Its unfair of you to automatically come to the conlusion that its caused by Islam….Infact Islam prohibits such things as im sure your aware.
You will find that such things are common even in India even thought its a Hindu nation.
However such things need to adressed and the government is letting it people down as it has done in so many many feilds. These children are innocent and have done now wrong,,, please people wake up and take notice of whats hapennng around you.
India is a secular nation!
What an irony people of that area consider themselves authority on Islam.
Thanks for small mercies…she was not stoned to death
This is a sad story I read in the New York Times. (This is The New York Times's story), but you didn't dig what they haven't covered about story. It would have been better if you had investigated this story. Such stories are tough to write about because of lack of access to victims and country.
Some thing does not gel here.This man is most probably a muslim.Does your religion allow this?The more I read about your this region like Pakistan and Afghanistan the more confused I get.I should have never clicked to Dawn by mistake some months ago.Now when I read about you muslims and your shenanigans in the name of Islam,it makes me wonder what is the true Islam and who practices it.
Perhaps you missed out this paragraph: "The prevailing norm in the pre-Islamic era was subsequently criminalised when Islamic laws were codified. And the reasoning for outlawing this barbaric method of attaining justice (so to speak) is obvious: a girl is not property that can be given away for slavery to settle the score for someone else’s misdeeds."
Raika, I am a Muslim and I will explain Islam in a sentence. Believe in one God, and his Prophet Muhammad (pbuh), and don't get into it any deeper, you will end up confused.
I read similar story in the times of India where hindu family reacted in similar fashion,It has nothing to do with Islam or any religion because religion prohibits such acts,whenever you read the story question always come to your mind is muslim and Islam.
I felt so panic.but true muslim are n0t like that.
Well i am a muslim , and islam is my religion . What mskes me diffrent from this man is im educated , islamically and academically too . Islam is against all these rituals which dates back to the time when even islam wasnt there . Categorizing ignorant and ill-literate people with the image of islam is not the best thing u can do . And if u want to know how a real muslim is ordered to treat the women in islam believe me ull love the religion . I think u should nt judge islam with all these crap goin around cause a sound muslim is as ashamed of these acts as a non-muslim will be .
Hope i was not ironic in replying , was just trying to represent a muslim thought into all of this heineous act of ignorance.
raika dont know where you are from but let me tell you one its more cultural than religious if you are from india you will know its the subcontinent that continues to degrade women and childern india has men and their families burning their wives for lack of dowry and aborting female fetuses so lets not pile all the wrong doings on islam.look around for wider perspective
Reading all this, I am sorry to say it has taken till 2009 to realize something was wrong. It will take maybe another 50 years before the benefit of the elimination of this heinous act really kicks in.
This practice has nothing to with Islam but a tradition that pre dates Islam and has no place in great religion of Islam.
Ok this act is nothing to do with Islam, But It happens in all Muslim countries, What Muslims are doing to stop it ?? The answer is NOTHING.
Well said, Maaz
Most of the women particularly living in Islamic countries lead a miserable life, due to double standards of Islamic Men.
If something wrong is happening in Islamic countries, it does not mean nothing has been done to prevent it, look at the wester well developed countries with 90+ literacy rate but still they lead the table of crime rate, it does not mean that these countries do not do anything for controlling the crime, but it takes some time to bring down an evil in the society which has been there for decades.
If developed countries fail to eradicate the evil from the society forget about these poor Islamic countries, there are Islamic countries like Saudia, UAE, where such mishaps do not accur, therefore it is not right to blame entire muslim community with the act which is mainly practiced in very remote Pashtoon areas.