As a woman you would know that no matter how professionally successful you become you will be considered boss of the home domain first and foremost. You may have twenty people reporting to you at work but people will concentrate on how well you are able to maintain and run your house. You may be executing millions of orders and streamlining productivity but it is how well you manage your children in public that defines you. Sorry, but facts are thus for a Pakistani woman.

Therefore you constantly worry about the home and hearth. You may receive accolades at work every six months but the pride you feel when someone compliments your chintz chairs is something incomparable.

A major part of your ‘work description’ is taking into account the tiniest needs of your off spring(s). You may not be a child psychologist but no one wants to hear that it’s your first time as mommy. Thank goodness you have enough literature these days to help you through the tough spots.

A great part of setting up house is keeping in mind every member’s comfort and privacy. Children obviously play a major role in deciding the size and structure of your abode. Psychologists believe that children need to be given physical space as well as mental room to manoeuvre and make decisions from an early age. But to what extent should we let our little ones explore their privacy? How much physical space is big enough? Here’s what some mommies had to contribute:

‘The entire upper floor in my house is my kids’ domain. They have their rooms, their playroom, their library, homework area, etc. Now here’s the catch. I am the manager so it’s like they stay at a plush hotel but it has rules which they have to follow,’ says Humeira Kazmi, author of a children’s book and mother of four.

‘We recently moved to a bigger house, primarily because we wanted to give space to the kids and ourselves. I see some major differences. Because they have their own room now, there is a sense of ownership to keep it clean. The books that they have had for years, I see them picking them up and finally reading them only because they are laid out in a manner they should be. I see them bonding with each other more as they are sharing a room. I see them picking up a musical instrument and playing alone. Or just sitting quietly and thinking which I think is important,’ elucidates Saima Ghazanfar, a working mother of two.

‘It’s very important to give kids their own space. It allows them to have some independence and exercise their choices in their own domain. But it also gives them a sense of responsibility like picking up after themselves, making beds, organising their things, etc., delineates mommy of two, Gaiti Hussain.

‘They take over the entire house themselves; you don’t have to give them anything! Our bedroom is their room, our favourite chair is their chair, our TV time is their TV time...they decide who you meet and for how long, where you dine out, how long you can stay out, when to sleep...in fact I think we have to find our own space!’ laments Beena Arooj Hasan, mother of two.

We have to remember though that not all of us have enough room in our place of residence to allow a separate space for the children, in which case how do you allow your child to exercise his/her fundamental right to privacy? There were some interesting views given by a couple of mothers:

‘Even if you can’t give them a room specifically or an area to themselves, you can do something as small as letting them decide what to wear today or deciding certain activities . All this builds confidence, individuality and independence,’ comments Shamila, mommy of one.

‘We live in a two room apartment and it is not easy keeping out of the way of the kids as they grow up. We fully plan on moving to a bigger place but in the meantime we make some sacrifices. And by ‘we’ obviously I mean the parents. We cannot really have a spic and span room to welcome our guests to because the children’s things spill over into the living room and that’s ok with us, as long as the children have the lion’s share of the living space we can afford,’ explains a working mother of two.

‘Even if you live in a single room loft there are ways to mark your territory as opposed to your children’s space. There is specific furniture available nowadays that takes up less room and is child friendly. Using bright colours for the kiddy space and subtle tones for your area allows for everyone to know their specific place.

No matter how limited your living area you can ensure that your children have the essentials in furnishings so that they do not feel like they got a raw deal. Make sure they have a small bookshelf, and preferably also a TV area, which is so important to children today. There should be a nook for their toys and you can use the latest plastic or fabric containers in which they can tidily store their toys,’ were the ideas of an interior designer.

When they are very young children prefer to live in smaller spaces since larger areas intimidate them. But as they grow older children seem to want more and more space. After a gallop in the garden children feel most comfortable when they have a place to come to that they can call their own.

Not only do they learn to take pride in their belongings they learn to cherish and take care of their things only if you make them responsible rather than clean up for them. You do not necessarily have to have a dream room fitted out for your child but making him/her understand that there are certain areas that belong to them specifically makes them learn to be confident individuals.