Muslim women: Neither hidden nor exposed
The Islamic culture of segregation of sexes was based on early marriages that sought to curtail sexual frustration, but economic pressures and evolving social attitudes are rapidly changing this tradition.
Those living in urban areas, particularly the educated middle class, are in their 30s when they get married – and until then, they are expected to live celibate lives. However, it does not seem to work, particularly as the society opens up with the passage of time.
More and more women are coming out of their sheltered places. There are girls’ schools and colleges in every city, town and even in big villages. Thousands of women go out to work every day. So the chances of unmarried men and women meeting each other are stronger now than ever before, which is shifting social and moral attitudes slowly but surely. Until the 1960s, it was common to see veiled women in the cities. In many Islamic countries, such as Pakistan, it has become as less common sight.
This mixing of sexes is not always “benign” as most Muslims would like to believe. Many Muslim men claim to have had more than one affair before their marriage. Most of these affairs, they claim, are platonic but many also acknowledge having sex before marriage and not many have recourse to prostitution. So who are their partners?
If you suggest that they have been intimate with girls from their neighbourhoods, schools and work-places, they get offended. “Our girls? Never. They never do such things,” is the usual answer. This has created a strange attitude toward women. Most men want women before they are married but are reluctant to acknowledge it.
It is considered wrong to express your desires to a woman. But not many hesitate to touch, pinch or even grope a woman when walking in a busy street or bazaar. Rubbing hands against a woman’s body is so common in most Muslim cities that there probably is no woman who has never been rubbed or touched. Some men even try to put their hands inside her veil.
If a man is caught doing this he is beaten, often badly. But if he is not caught, he boasts about his exploits in the bazaar with a sense of pride, like a hunter discussing his successes. There are few who condemn such behaviour, but the same people would very enthusiastically join in beating one of their ‘kind’ if he is caught in the act.
Sometimes Muslims also can be very expressive, very open. Sex is not something you discuss in public but nobody stops the quack doctors and the itinerant sex experts from doing so on the roadside. The expert describes every action and every gesture in vivid detail, often with the help of Western sex magazines. And nobody seems to mind.
It is bad for a woman to show her body in public, so she has to be properly covered when she goes out. A young woman is not even supposed to buy her own under-garments until she is old. Before that, the shopping is done by her husband if she is married or by her mother or grandmother if she is single.
But it is not bad for a shopkeeper to display the same goods. Some stores love to display bras. I have never seen so many bras, in all colours and sizes, displayed from every angle, outside the Muslim world. They stare at you from store windows. Sometimes they festoon the store doorway.
Such displays are more than a mere device to sell the merchandise. Often it is an expression of the store owner’s sexuality or perhaps an attempt to lure a male customer into the shop. Youngsters can be seen staring wide-eyed at the forbidden goods. They often go inside for a closer look and end up buying something else to justify the visit.
Television and newspaper advertisements are full of sexual innuendos. Sometimes women can be seen promoting even exclusively male objects, such as a razor blade or an after-shave. When it comes to appreciating female beauty, Muslims are partial to blondes.
Fashion models in the Islamic world have mastered the art of exposing everything – while at the same time keeping a token cover-up. The qameez or the sari never slips but they can show all the curves and contours.
All this hide-and-seek has made women extremely vulnerable. They are no more the objects behind the veil that they used to be. They are no more protected from the male eyes by the four-walls and the thick curtains that separated their world from that of the men. Yet at the same time they are not allowed to come out and live with confidence.
This half-hidden and half-exposed woman gets neither the respect the Muslim culture claims to give her, nor the economic strength the opportunity to come out and work for a living provides her. She is no longer a traditional Muslim, and therefore, does not enjoy the protection her position behind the veil automatically provided her. And neither is she a fully liberated worker, like those in the West, and therefore lacks the confidence that economic freedom brings.
How does a woman feel living in such an environment?
When I saw M. K., she was playing with clay. With a pair of restless hands she would separate a piece from a lump lying on her table, shape it up, make a figure and flatten it, only to reshape it, make another and flatten it again. I watched her quietly for a few minutes and then asked her why she was doing that.
“I like playing with clay. It is so soft, so gentle, changes shape so easily. But despite its adaptability it has a definite character,” she said.
M was one of five young women artists who were exhibiting their work at a gallery in Islamabad. It was their first major exhibition and they were all excited. These were young, educated, self-confident and forward-looking women who wanted to “come out and make our contribution to developing the place where we are born,” as one of
them said.
Four of the five girls had spent four years learning creative art. Now they were graduating with an intention to go out and make their mark. Before coming here, four of them studied journalism and psychology. The fifth, A. M., was a senior student and already had participated in several exhibitions.
“What does the future hold for you?” I asked one of the graduating students.
“Anything I want. Things have changed now. Ours is not the first group of girls graduating from a school or a college in Pakistan. There are hundreds of thousands of educated women in this country. Many are working outside their homes. There are women in the judiciary, in police, in engineering and at senior positions in the bureaucracy. We now even have women pilots. So I think the time has come for men to stop worrying about our future. We can take care of ourselves,” she said.
All the women said they had a strong desire to communicate with others through their work. When asked why they had not chosen journalism after studying it, they said they did not find words strong enough to communicate their feelings and so they went for a stronger medium.
N. S. is a painter. She paints portraits that are not portraits because she masks the faces of her subjects. When I asked her why, she said: “I want the viewers to try and see the real face behind the mask without removing it. It is important that we learn to do that.”
She said most people hide behind something to cover their real faces. “They carry several masks with them. One is for their family, another for their friends, one for their colleagues and yet another for their bosses. They keep changing the masks according to the occasion. To understand these people you have to unmask them, layer by layer, and then perhaps you can see their real faces.”
N uses bright colours. “People prefer to show the brighter side of their personalities. But I use the mask to expose their dark side, too,” she said.
P.M. is a sculptor. She creates female figures. One of her women is shown drowning in a whirlpool. “This is the whirlpool of race, colour, creed and religion. We are all drowning in it,” she said. She also was displaying caged women: some totally trapped in their cages, others at the brink of freedom.
She said she had distorted their faces and twisted their figures to show “how lack of freedom distorts a human being.”
P comes from a family that placed no restrictions on her. She was free to do what she wanted to. “Yet I want more freedom. I want to be free of all ties, emotional or physical.” She selected sculpture because of its “three-dimensional affect and also because it gives me more freedom to express myself.”
A Malik was also a sculptor but different from P. Her figures were tender, more feminine. They had all the curves of a female body but the faces were covered in veils. Those not wearing veils had no faces. “I am not displaying veiled figures. It is not their faces that they are hiding, it is their fears,” she said.
Fears of what? “Perhaps my women are afraid of the society, perhaps of masked men and the bearded priest or maybe they are afraid of themselves. Don’t ask me. Look around and you will find the answer,” she said.
M. A. was different from all others. Her paintings had an Islamic touch. In one of her works the “kalima” or the Muslim declaration of faith was shown emerging from behind an abstraction of lines and curves. Domes and minarets dominated her other paintings.
She does not see a conflict between the past and the present. “What we are now is because of what we were yesterday,” she said. “We are Muslims and we can’t deny that. Similarly, we also can’t deny that we live in today’s world.”
She said she was completely at ease with “what we are” and did not see the need to “act out an alien culture.”
Women are always at ease with themselves. The problem is some men are not at ease at all when there are women around. Will they ever learn to accept women as they are?
The author is a correspondent for Dawn, based in Washington, DC.
The views expressed by this blogger and in the following reader comments do not necessarily reflect the views and policies of the Dawn Media Group.
Good and i agreed to his views.
The author of "Muslim women: Neither hidden nor exposed" has clearly depicted the real picture of the place women in in Islamic States!
Hello everyone,
The article is absolutely right, the mans are guilty for it some time we treat women like dirt you have example of treble areas that whats going on with women there, having sold women like goods they thinks that they are human as well as offend we give them freedom beyond measure. in order to make society prosper we need to gives equal rights to women hope no buddy mind..
Thanks
We need to be more like the European / Russian and N. American countries. Enough of these old ways.
Oh people, Islam is the only religion that calls for modesty when all else is corrupt and moving with the times. Rasullah said once a person's modesty has gone, let them do what they want. This is an integral part of the faith and the systematic campaign to undermine every aspect of Islam from women to Halal food makes Muslims want to discover Islam for themselves and practice the faith more.
The more this disinformation campaign against Islam proceeds the more intelligent independent thinking people want to verify from the Quran for themselves…and realize the beauty, knowledge, and wisdom it offers.
Good read
Oh people, Islam is the only religion that calls for modesty when all else is corrupt and moving with the times. Rasullah said once a person's modesty has gone, let them do what they want. This is an integral part of the faith and the systematic campaign to undermine every aspect of Islam from women to Halal food makes Muslims want to discover Islam for themselves and practice the faith more.
I ask you, if Islam oppresses women, why are so many women in the west and elsewhere becoming Muslim? Why do they choose to wear the Hijab and even the full niqab/veil? They realise that society is over-sexualised and Islam stops everything from the root. Prevention is better then a cure. Alcohol has some benefits but Islam stops it.
Looking at beautiful women for men has temporary benefits but what happens when men cannot control their desires? They will commit sexual crimes that are rampant and widespread in the west and is becoming more common in Muslim countries too.
Muslims have made things difficult for themselves such as a ridiculous amount of dowry / mahr needed for marriage etc…
And the so called moderate Muslims, please do no fall into the trap of liberating Islam as it is mentioned in the Quran, "…enter into Islam completely"
Look at the UAE, their women are covered from head to toe but are they oppressed? They have separate gathering for women are the also oppressed driving a mercedes car and the latest Gucci handbag? Our minds need to literally be washed wear women are used to satisfy the lusts of men.
Things are changing with time and are getting norms of the society. Almost every parent wants to send his/her daughter to school. At least it is their wish.
In 70's norm was to wear the veil now it cant be seen even in the villages of upper Punjab.
Wearing jeans by a gal was taboo a few years ago, now it is a norm at least in the big cities.
I do not argue what is wrong or what is right? Women have now more rights.
I dont know why women do not move freely. Nobody harms them.
Well Written—in depth Analysis!!!
We should not draw line of western and eastern women. The answer is very simple. A women even a man should dress in a way which is considred to be the dress of a civilized person in that society. I am not demanding for vail in muslim world but exposing body is bad attitutd. In a society like pakistan a moderate women should wear full cloths with Dupata on head.
This is also the Christian and Jewish way according to the Bible…actually the Bible categorically demands that the uncovered head of a Christian women be shaved bare…! Holy Mary mother of Jesus is always depicted as having her head covered and wearing a modest dress…same as Christian Nuns.
i wud just say that the author has not actually blamed islam for any thing wrong infact he is saying that islam has to be fully implemented equally on men n women both…a girl can go out in special circumstances for education,job etc,islam doesnt restricts her from that but its the responsibility of the society n men to give them respect !!!
I couldnt understand what the author is trying to prove about. i think i have wasted my time in reading and trying to figure out what this article is about.I have not been indoctrinated.He is sitting in Washington and trying to tell us how we live our lives in Pakistan and how the men and women in muslim world should think and interact? The author is jumping here and there and can not concentrate on any particular theory. He has no in depth knowledge of how Pakistani society operates.
Excellent observation.
The word man and womwen are mentioned equal in Quran then why not have their rights equally given to them.Its not only man's world its equal for both of them the world has to live by both either of them can not be denied of their rights, men wake up dont show your manual power to put down the women,otherwise world going to fall short.women are humen too. let them have their healthy life.They are fighting together to run this world.Be men give women their rights.
Not sure what Mr. Anwer Iqbal is trying to say…..
Can somebody please translate this for me?
one of the ever best writing i have ever come across with..which depicts reality
Very well written article. However I disagree with the point of view. The argument made was that because women are stuck in a world where they are not afforded the dignity of the veil and are already being disrespected their only choice is to "live in today's times fully" and should have the financial independance. That is a false choice.
Islam is not against financial freedom for women, or men. Yet it binds by our common humanity and implores us to make the right choices. Whatever a son earns "belongs to his father". Women are not required to be the bread earners of the family. The burden falls on the men. Women are asked to not make unreasonable demands on their husbands. Men are lead by example of the prophet to help with the household chores like cooking cloeaning and doing their own work like mending their clothes. Fathers are responsible for rearing their children and in case of divorce they are responsible for taking care of their offsprings.
Its a beautiful balance, and we as people stuck between two worlds have disrupted. And the author uses that false argument to advocate further disbalance: Only a fool's choice
Ok. So what happens if someone does not want to follow this prescription, and they want to do it differently. for example say a woman who wants to be the bread winner, or a male who does not want the Prophet to be his role model. Is there an allowance in Islam for those people? Nope, that is where Islam fails. You cannot force choices on individuals. You cannot force rolemodel on individuals. You have to let them live their life any way they please. If not, you will have a society like Pakistan and the Arab world. Sorry to bring you the truth.
Its really a daring and thought provoking article. There is a need to discourage the late marriages in order to save our youth to be astray!!! What i feel which is becoming the real cause of loosing our values.
agreed
Study, pray, play, fast…learn a language, climb a mountain, do charity and volunteer work to help those who have less than you in knowledge, money, experience, expertise……..YOU WILL NOT GO ASTRAY!!! I PROMISE YOU.
I think the author is right in pointing out that men aren't comfotable with how women are, however its not only the men, even women discriminate against women. I used to live in an apartment in Islamabad and there were always those 'aunties' sitting in their windows or balconies spying on these girls just to mess around with their lives. A very contradicting society indeed. Men looking at pornography, harassing girls and committing homosexual acts is all normal but when a girl/woman does, its all very bizarre and shameful. Pakistan has a long way to go in liberalizing women. Its the 3rd most dangerous place for women in the world afterall.
if showing of their modesty is freedom..they are free…….
It is an unwanted, unimportant and irrelevant issue. Please don't play and encourage others to express some kinds of objectionable opinion regarding this kind of sensitive issues. Religion and religious issues are sacred and no one has right to comment about it……….
Religion and religious issue are sacred for those who followed them and not to others.keep remember plz.
awesome,,,,,
The issues mentioned in the write up are well known to every sensible person. The writer has tried to exposed a very well known fact but failed to give any conclusion and or solution. For example, are we lacking proper legislation as for law is concerned? Is our media or civil society, ulemas doing enough to carve out this evil from our society. If not then we all must initiate a collective effort to help out women.
I have never roamed around in bazars for eve teasing because my mother (woman) has brought me up in such a way.
I will emphasize that women, specially mothers, hold a great responsibility in shaping up this society.
Being a muslim we must not cross the boundaries of Islam.The real happy successful life can be achieved by acting according to Quran and Sunnah.May Allah help and bless us.Ameen
People like you will always succeed to get on my nerves. It might be self satisfying to act according to the Islamic Law, but its not a must for everyone. AND NO, Islam might be the right way of life but it is NOT the only right way of life. If this were true Pakistan would be a first world country supplying aid to Australia, Sweden and Switzerland. You are NO ONE to decide.
Keep wandering.. If you find one, do tell me
Non-sequitur. Does not follow. Poor logic. Apples and oranges.
What's new in this article? Aren't the things mentioned in it are already known to the society?
These things actually do exist in society but unfortunately we’re denying them we are even not ready to confront with the truth.I think, it is high time for us to recognise the society patterns beacuse we are only who fabricate, destroy or refabricate this structure.