At times children ask questions that not only are difficult to answer but leave the adults wondering what’s going on in their mind. One has to be very careful while answering these queries and try to satisfy their inquisitive minds.

I realised this when my seven-year-old nephew asked his mother, “Where do babies come from?” She didn’t know how to answer the question. She was shocked momentarily when he told her that he had learnt about pregnancy and child birth from a TV cartoon. He confronted his mother saying, “Babies come from the mother’s belly, though you used to say that we get babies from the hospital.” My sister had to explain the fact to him to a certain extent, but he was persistent and wanted to know more. She closed the conversation by saying, “You'll get to know more about it, when you grow up”.

Statements such as ‘kids are innocent’ do not hold true anymore. If your kid has asked you this question, you are not alone. Nearly every parent has been asked similar questions. Ask your parents, you too must have inquired about your birth when you were a kid. I can say with certainty that most parents tell a story. Some say that a stork delivered the baby at their doorstep, while some claim that an angel came from heaven to deliver the baby because of the love between the mother and the father.

No matter what story your parents told you, we need to understand that we cannot tell the same stories to our kids anymore. Toddlers are becoming progressively smarter. With the advent of technology and exposure to media, young minds are becoming extra smart and inquisitive in nature; in (late) Perveen Shakir’s words ‘Bachay hamaray ehd kay chalak ho gaye hain (kids of our times have become clever).

“It is natural for children to ask these questions,” says Dr Zohaib. “Your answer should be tailored to address your child’s developmental stage. Take help from a book or explain it yourself; it’s your choice but you should try to be very matter-of-fact. This also depends on your values, which varies from family to family. I believe, for young children, up to six or eight years of age, saying that it is God’s gift to the family might work. Older children around the age of 10 can be told that it is a result of love between a man and a woman, without going into too much detail, and at some point there should be some sort of formal education.”

Different parents have used different ways to handle this perticular question and satisfy their kids’ queries. When Najma Saleem, a house wife, was asked by her six-year-old daughter how she was born, she told her, “I ate a baby seed and it grew inside my body and finally you were born.”

“It is proven that history repeats itself. When my five-year-old daughter asked me about her birth, I was not sure how to explain it to her. I called my mother and sought her guidance. She relaxed me by saying that ‘your daughter is smarter than you; you asked this question when you were nine’,” narrated Raheela Ashraf.

“Babies come from Heaven,” Asma Riaz told her seven-year-old son when he was curious to know about child birth.

Sarah Saad, a banker by profession and a mother of an eight-year-old, shared: “I remember my mother used to tell me that one morning an angel came from heaven and delivered me at their door step. Things have changed and I can’t sell this story to my kids now. Not only is today’s generation clever but is also equipped with a lot of resources that help them get detailed information. When my younger son asked this question I answered it with honesty but not in great detail.”

What is the right answer? First of all, one has to understand that it is not unusual for young minds to ask questions about pregnancy and childbirth. All one needs to do is to draw a strategy for answering their questions. Kids are inquisitive by nature. You have to come up with a good, age-appropriate answer that will satisfy your kid’s queries. The selection of words should be very decent and simple. Avoid using big words like uterus, eggs, sperm, etc. because this will spark their curiosity and you are going to have a whole series of new questions. Each child is different from the other. Find out exactly what your child wants to know and answer him/her according to their level of understanding.

While addressing their concerns, don’t go into extensive detail. Answer what is necessary for their age. Also, prepare answers to all possible leading questions in advance. Do not avoid answering as otherwise your child will become curious and might approach someone else for the unanswered questions which might create issues.