Teacher: “Amy, what do you call the outside of a tree?”

Student: “No idea teacher.”

Teacher (angrily): “Bark, Amy!”

Amy: “Bow wow wow…”

*****

Girl: “Mom, today the teacher beat me for something that I didn’t do.”

Mother: “That’s very bad of your teacher. What was it that you didn’t do?”

Girl: “The homework.”

 *****

Interviewer: “Do you think you can handle a variety of work?”

Candidate: “Yes, I think so, I have worked in 10 different places in the last three months.”

 *****

Employee: “I got to have salary increment. Three other companies are after me.”

Boss: “Really? Which are the three companies?”

Employee: “The electric company, the telephone company and the gas company.”

*****

Teacher: “How many letters are there totally in A.B.C.D?”

Student: “Four.”

Teacher: “I meant the complete set, not just A.B.C.D.”

Student: “52.”

Teacher: “What?! How?”

Student: “Lower case 26 and upper case 26.”

*****

My boss walked past my desk and asked me: “Why are you not working?”

I replied, “Because I never saw you coming sir.”

*****

A man in a hotel: “Waiter, there is a dead fly in my bean soup.”

Waiter: “Oh, the hot soup must have killed it, sir.”