Hey Auntie, I’m a 20-year-old student. I got married early in 2011 but it was my destiny that I got divorced soon after. To get over my depression I want to pursue further studies, but I fear that whenever I take a test in any institution I will most likely fail. That’s why I am so disturbed. Please help me. What should I do and how should I reach my goal? Divorced and depressed

Dear Move on, I am assuming your goal is to get into the institution of your choice so let’s get some perspective here. Most of the students, who’ll be giving the test alongside you, will be nervous, so you’re in good company. But here’s something you may want to consider: Are you anxious because you haven’t prepared well or are you worried that you will blank out when the test paper appears even though you know the material backwards?

You probably know what kind of a test you will be given so make sure you start studying adequately in advance. Avoid cramming for the entrance exam and study well and systematically by going through past papers and perhaps even go beyond the material so that you know it well.

At the end of the day, whether you get into a particular college may decide your future, but only to a certain extent. Remember admission into a certain college or grades are not a reflection of your self-worth. Give the test your best shot — but please remember, it is only a test and there will be many others.

The world is not black or white…and how you do on this test is not an all-or-nothing type situation. You have only created that in your head. Your only identity in the world is not that of someone who’s divorced or someone who’s about to take a test.

On the day of the test, eat moderately and avoid caffeine. Don’t cram last minute…in fact don’t even look at the material in the hour or so before the test and please, please avoid fellow test takers who display anxiety and fret endlessly. And if waiting for the test makes you nervous and everybody around you looks petrified, take along a brain-dead magazine with the latest celebrity scandals to distract you.

When you reach the hall to take your test, take a deep breath look at the test paper and review it twice. Instead of thinking of it as a competition to get into college, imagine that you are here to show off about all that you know, regardless of what anybody else knows. Start with the easier questions and slowly move onto the more difficult stuff.

Don’t rush through the test and keep checking the time. During the test, control your anxiety by not thinking about others’ performances or even dwelling on whether you will get admission or not. Keep water with you if you are allowed and maybe even take a break from the test to daydream about how you’re going to relax when you get through this. And then make sure you do relax when you get home, without dwelling on how you did. Hopefully this will help. Good luck.

Hello Dado, I am 26 years old, working in banking. I often deal with female co-workers. Some time back, I began to notice one of my female colleagues. What I am impressed with is her simplicity. She is about 29 or 30 years old and she is married. In the beginning I was just an admirer of her simplicity but over time she has occupied my brain completely.

I feel guilty that I am developing affection for someone who is already married, but at the same time I cannot stop thinking about her. Before this, I could talk and do office work with her confidently, but now I cannot make eye contact with her during conversations.

I cannot understand why all this is happening to me. All I know is that I am a fan of her simplicity. I don’t want to make things complicated.

What does all this mean? Maybe it’s time for me to get my own girl or what? Wandered

Dear On-Track, Indeed it is time to get your own girl! You have a mad crush on your co-worker and that can get incredibly tricky given that you two are probably thrown together a lot. So, difficult as it may be, from now on just keep it strictly business with this woman. That means don’t add her to your BBM list and absolutely avoid adding her to your social networking sites. Be polite to her, and never ever get drawn into discussing your personal life with her. Don’t stare at her (women have an eye in the back of their heads when it comes to such things). And if you need to go to a working lunch with her or something, try to take along another colleague.

So yes, nip those fantasies and daydreams about the day your ladylove will divorce that creepy husband of hers. She won’t leave him for Patrick Dempsey if he showed up on her doorstep.

So jaan, you are on the right track and if you want love and attention, go find someone single and unattached. It’s just easier.

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