Eating humble pie
-Illustration by Faraz Aamer Khan.
Before the narrative postulated by the aforementioned title begins, let me thank you for giving my blog titled Pseudo Semantic Soliloquies a chance in the hopes that you enjoy reading it every week! As a little summary about the posts that will flood your computer screens every Friday, let me say, this blog will be consisting of a lax, reclining-back-in-your-lazyboy at 9am while all the rest of the world trudges along to work kind of feel to make it a light read. It’s the start of the weekend and I don’t think anyone wants to hear more deflating news than is already blaring on our beloved new channels.
This blog aspires to be a strand of social commentary on daily observations accompanied by a podcast of sorts. There’s no specific direction of thought, no biased angle to an argument, no cohesive structure and most definitely, no conclusion because hey, I don’t have all the answers and I would love to hear from you to help me figure them out!
Now, where was I?
1st stick figure – the blinding whiteness of his veneers shielding the murderous envy in his eyes: “Kudos on the great job, champ. Ace! Top notch! You are the next star of our blah blah industry!”
2nd stick figure – eating humble pie out of courtesy and fear of bad karma: “Oh thanks so much, yes it was hard work but I’m so glad with the end result.”
Followed by: A sweaty handshake-almost like a peeing contest for the fists.
And finally: they both walk away from each other, mirroring doppelgangers of mustachio cowboys in an old western flick inching further away, sweaty palm glued to the cool steel, preparing to turn and pull the trigger at any moment.
Those taut smiles make Botox victims look like BBM emoticons, the glint of venomous jealousy in the dilated pupils so intense, it makes drugged-up malnourished models resemble turgid nuns, and that convincing, eerily jovial tone of voice could make the “four legs good, two legs bad” communist theory seem almost impartial.
Seriously? It’s become that difficult for people to be genuinely happy for their counterparts in this day and age? Since I moved back to the country almost 6 months ago, swapping the doe-eyed teen persona to don one of a career-driven woman, since then, I have been bemused, to say the least, at the mental floggings that people give each other to get to the final rung of the prosperity ladder.
It appears that the unanimous hamartia threaded in our collective psyche as a nation is to never be entirely pleased for someone else’s success. In all walks of life, whether you’re a corporate suit or a bohemian Janis Joplin-wannabe singer/songwriter, or even a homeless hobo on the streets – you will still wish to be reigning champion of the invisible-mortgage brigade by fighting ruthlessly to sleep on the cardboard sheet with the one vomit stain rather than two.
I understand competition in any career and watching your back and the rat race, cut-throat world out there and all the scenarios illuminated to us by shows such as The Good Wife and Mad Men (just with prettier people and great outfits), but do we not realise that we are each a fraction of the X or Y chromosome that swims in the universal gene pool of our competitive nature?
So if we aren’t genuinely happy for someone who has received accolades of sorts, how can we expect people to have our back when the time calls for it? Almost every working person has had an office bully, thereby positioning themselves in the role of the helpless victim. What is startling is the repetition-compulsive syndrome that goes on in the workplace once those preys becomes the predators, because while someone is that to us, we in turn project the same qualities onto someone else – an alpha-male, dominant role transference as such but not in the enjoyable or entertaining Freaky Friday kind of way.
Every effect has a cause, every end has a means and when almost every John Doe “likes” a status of victory on any networking site, we know they have the worst of the Ten Commandments pulling on the puppet strings of the one-man show called, “It should have been me!” All of us can get influenced by the devious succubus called Ambition and healthy competition in the workplace is should be encouraged as a precedence of a successful business model. However, what is important is to not get sucked into that lime-green wormhole completely, because once stuck in that slime, it morphs into quicksand for your self-esteem.
So what should we do? Wish everyone the best at all times? Well, that’s about as possible as the running a car on water … oh wait, it’s not. One option is to probably just yank our ego out from the sea of Parihuanas before they chomp down, dust off the effervescent lint of disappointment and wish the other well as genuinely as we possibly can as an ode to their work, and in the hopes that when it is our turn to have that one momentous day when every clam reveals a pearl, that same stick figure with the mouthful of humble pie gives us a heartfelt congratulations.
Call me skeptical, but that’s easier said than done. So what is the most realistic way to deal with office politics? And what is the best way to ensure the green-eyed monster doesn’t make us incapable of being happy for someone else’s success?
The writer is philosophy major turned journalist turned wanderlust writer and aspiring film-maker with a penchant for going off on a tangent … metaphysically and metaphorically. She can be reached at achundrigar@gmail.com
The views expressed by this blogger and in the following reader comments do not necessarily reflect the views and policies of the Dawn Media Group.
I see office politics practically every day with some colleagues and so-called friends at work trying to stifle my career behind my back. And unfortunately their are a few seniors in my company with 'kacchey kaan' who listen, gleefully, to all the back-biting going on. Noticed another thing? Negative and trying to put-down comments here by men(?). Wonder why? Complexes? Good article. Keep writing Ayesha! And I for one look forward to reading you next week.
That Animal Farm reference was the best part in it. I must say you have made a very simple idea and its explanation very complex and hard to understand. Local people here are not that used to the language that simply blows their minds. Congratulations to you by the way to get started on Dawn blog but its a suggestion if you could just astray a bit from your own writing style by using simple writing style, or at least the vocabulary
Too Long, Didn't Read
Good article, important message, something i feel wholeheartedly for, often having been at the receiving end of bullying at my work place, usually at the hands of a senior who claims to encourage new ideas but has zero tolerance for disagreeing subordinates!
However, Ayesha, that was a bit of a mouthful! Too wordy, and unnecessary for the target audience. In fact, it can actually prove to be a hindrance in imparting your message which is the main point of writing, after all.
Why is everyone acting as if it is a sin to be challenged or to be nudged towards opening up a dictionary once in a while? Instead of a cliched discussion about politics and media, the writer here has attemped to discuss an aspect of society which everyone assumes is normal and not worthy of being discussd but since when is ruthlesness from ones fellow colleagues something that is deemed as necassary? I think The meaning behind the blog is clear for anyone who has even a mild form of intellect. I would assume a third grader would not be reading the dawn blogs and therfore do not find it necassary that every form of writing here should cater to them.
Another thing i find fascinating, is when did addressing someone as ‘lady’ become acceptable, especially when the writers name is clearly mentioned? Has our socitey lost all sense of decorum that would turn then unnecassarily viscious towards an unoffensive piece of writing?
Lost in translation… do embark on , give your point of view but stop impressing Ayesha! Though I'm a great fan of Janis Joplin.
Ayesha, I'm sure you're a good writer. I'm not being mean when I say that alot of the article doesn't make much sense. I get the "stream of…" thing you have going here, but "mirroring doppelgängers"? Really? You seemed to be well educated, and well, I am too – let's not kid ourselves here. In an effort to impress the audience, you've used words that should never be next to one another – to show us the depth of your vernacular, you've said a great without really fleshing out your point. Good writing has to grab you, and pull you in. It takes guts to put your opinion out there, but please do so in digestible chunks – it was more and more heart wrenching with each wrong turn. Keep it up and learn, a writer can't afford to have thin skin.
M
Ayesha has a point in stating that the majority in our society seem not to applaud the success of others – almost operating in a perpetual negative frame of mind. In contrast, teachers in the States are always quick to praise the students, challenging them to rise to higher levels. At the University level, the teacher/student relationship is almost one of friendship, whereas in Pakistan, there is always the ubiquitous barrier which can seldom be breached – and the students then grow up lacking confidence and self-belief.
Ayesha, your intro at the end should also include 'turned model".
You're an excellent writer. Not all would acquire the taste right away but a lot will.
What you've suggested is all good . One can only hope that it becomes a reality in this cut-throat world, or atleast goes in that direction.
All the best to you.
After posting my previous comment, I saw the podcast icon in the middle of the blog. Hearing it made me understand the writer's views on office politics better.
Very well done — loved the language used, shows the writer is very well versed. It all comes down to Dog eat Dog world, survival of the fittest, with No Conscience or Moral Values.
Ayesha makes a valid point that most of us, me included though I try to, do not feel real happiness seeing colleagues/friends getting ahead in lives. but then the ways some employ to get to the next rung of corporate success is not too clean either. Likewise in business circles. Under-hand methods instead of good clean hard compeition are the calling of quite a few. So all in all, Ayesha does make valid points. Work hard compete hard should be the basic work ethic.
get the idea but then the words were really difficult…
Your statement lady "a chance in the hopes that you enjoy reading it every week" is mind boggling. Reading this article itself is a journey of confusion and intellectual despair. Simple sentences in plain English is what we need.This is not Oxford or Harvard lady. This is just ordinary people of Pakistan.No offence meant.
First of all I want my five minutes back (headbang)! Second I wonder, next time If I try to come up with an article on just a traffic problem in a metropolis, with heavy words jumbled up from dictionary, I may get a space here for that too. Sigh!
I sense you are trying to make a point but it keeps getting lost in all that verbosity
This is how philosophers talk
No, that is not how philosophers talk! Or, used to talk.
Is that aping the way philosophers are supposed to talk?
Ummm… no it's not. They are supposed to VERY clear about what they are saying.
I remember 3 idiots after reading this.
"Instruments that record, analyse, summarise, organise, debate and explain information; that are illustrated, non-illustrated, hardbound, paperback, jacketed, non-jacketed; with foreword, introduction, table of contents, index; that are indented for the enlightenment, understanding, enrichment, enhancement and education of the human brain through sensory route of vision – sometimes touch."
Reminds me of the movie 3 idiots
"Instruments that record, analyse, summarise, organise, debate and explain information; that are illustrated, non-illustrated, hardbound, paperback, jacketed, non-jacketed; with foreword, introduction, table of contents, index; that are indented for the enlightenment, understanding, enrichment, enhancement and education of the human brain through sensory route of vision – sometimes touch."
For Iqbal: The lady is talking about jealousy at the workplace and how cut-throat society has become. Sad but true! Most of us are piranhas, ready to bite to get ahead.
Lady what you are saying is that we need to care for each other and encourage each other towards progress and success and be happy (genuinely so) for other people's success. This is a very important point and very important to the progress of a country but you got sidetracked by making it too abstruse and too difficult to read. If no one can understand this important message – then we all lose so please , if you have important ideas communicate them simply, briefly and lovingly! no need for over complicating things , stay focused and kind and feel for the average reader (imagine the average reader is a child in 3rd grade- the best works are comprehensible by the child and the farmer)
I appreciate all the comments and thank you so much for reading my blog. My writing style is often described as a rant packed with verbosity as it is written more like a stream of consciousness than an article. As I mentioned earlier, there is no specific analysis that I am embarking on-it is simply my point of view on something that I am passionate about. I hope in time, you guys will like it more. Ayesha
The point is that your "rant packed with verbosity and the stream of consciousness" is equally confusing here like your article.Lady, did not anybody teach you to speak or write simple English?
Rant, verbosity, stream of consciousness, no analysis….Ayesha, I love your chutzpah (as we New Yorkers would say) if not your writing style..all the best. .
OK. but please write in english next time…
people can never be happy for each other, its a curse but necessary
may be you are trying to say simple thing in a very complicated way , it should be otherwise
what are you trying to say, lady?