Zero IQ Thirty
Recent Hollywood blockbuster, ‘Zero Dark Thirty’, was quite an experience. Though sharp in its production and direction and largely accurate in depicting the events that led to the death of Osama Bin Laden, it went ballistic bad in depicting everyday life on the streets of Pakistan.
With millions of dollars at their disposal, I wonder why the makers of this film couldn’t hire even a most basic advisor to inform them that
1: Pakistanis speak Urdu, English and other regional languages and NOT Arabic;
2: Pakistani men do not go around wearing 17th and 18th century headgear in markets;
3: The only Urdu heard in the film is from a group of wild-eyed men protesting against an American diplomat, calling him ‘chor.’ Chor in Urdu means robber. And the protest rally was against US drone strikes. How did that make the diplomat a chor?
4: And how on earth was a green Mercedes packed with armed men parked only a few feet away from the US embassy in Islamabad? Haven’t the producers ever heard of an area called the Diplomatic Enclave in Islamabad? Even a squirrel these days has to run around for a permit to enter and climb trees in that particular area.
I can go on.
The following is what I have learned …
Pakistan according to Hollywood
________________________________
America in the eyes of Pakistanis
Nadeem F. Paracha is a cultural critic and senior columnist for Dawn Newspaper and Dawn.com
The views expressed by this blogger and in the following reader comments do not necessarily reflect the views and policies of the Dawn Media Group.
NFP graduates to bi-cultural wit. Bravo.
Bollywood succeeds admirably at providing superb entertainment making no qualms about fantasy – “ .. star-crossed lovers and angry parents, love triangles, family ties, sacrifice, corrupt politicians, kidnappers, conniving villains, courtesans with hearts of gold, long-lost relatives and siblings separated by fate, dramatic reversals of fortune, and convenient coincidences ..”
Hollywood goes the extra mile at pretending to be realistic, and fails miserably.
What strikes a non-American coming to live in America is how seriously they take Hollywood. On my first assignment in America 8 years ago in an aerospace company in San Diego the first act of business in the morning was exchanging notes on the movie seen the night before. I am talking of Engineers making in 6 figures per annum (US$, not PKR). In Pakistan, 5 prayers a day hopefully keep the devil away, in America a movie a night keeps, they hope, ignorance at bay (or at least the alienation of a godless life).
Silver screen is reality in America, the street is simply a dull copy. Many if not most people here think 9/11 was staged.
Bollywood feeds Western invincibility, but that can be deadly. The 007, Superman, Batman, Spiderman, all were caught napping on 9/11 when a kidney-sick madman sitting in remote mountains with a $200,000 budget (of which $60,000 actually spent – talk about Islam’s frugality) made a monkey of CIA, FBI, NSA, MI5, CSIS, Mossad, all put together, busting the 1826 Monroe Doctrine, and for the first time in last 500 years replacing the principal emotion in Corporate Capitalist West from hope to fear. Department of Homeland Security is now the largest Department in every Western country, and growing.
At the height of the Soviet Union, half of the population worked for its “DHS” watching the other half. The stated goal of Al-Quaeda is to reduce the Capitalist West to a carbon copy of the Soviet Union, and then beat them with their experience. What I have heard of Dark Hour Thirty looks like a proof how much Al-Quaeda has succeeded so far. Lament for a civilization.
Says so factually the West’s Prophet of Doom Samuel Huntington:
” .. The West won the world not by the superiority of its ideas or values or religion, but rather by its superiority in applying organized violence. Westerners often forget this fact, non-Westerners never do ..” —— The Clash of Civilizations and the Remaking of World Order, p. 51. ..
Someone ought to tell these Capitalists led by America that the Civilized do not clash, but cooperate (as lobbied Khatami of Iran). When asked about the Western Civilization venerable Mao deadpanned – “it will be a good idea”.
After the WWII it was said in Capitals of Europe, in London, Paris, Berlin, that Europe could survive on the refuse of America, and Asia could live on what Europe throws out. North America had 90% of world production, and monopoly on capital and technology.
70 years later Asia sits on a pile of cash, geriatric Europe buys an extension on its existence by not having children, and we in North America are mired in debt to our necks.
100 years ago not a square inch of globe breathed without the permission of the West. Today, the world is saying to the West – whatever you have been doing, stop it now to stop further hemorrhage. Do not commit suicide.
The old-timers like us who have seen its gradual decline over the last 50 years from “Arsh to Farsh” and the rise of Asia are seriously planning to come back to war-torn Pakistan. Pak will solve its problems sooner or later, but with Hollywood feeding these 330 millions Zero Dark Thirty, will America ever rise again? It is a land with immense potential. We wish our closest friends well indeed.
Bollywood feeds Western invincibility, but that can be deadly. Did you mean Hollywood sir?
OOPS. I meant Hollywood. Many Thanks. Apologies.
Abbas Sir, only ‘one’ thank you will do. Lol just kidding!
“Silver screen is reality in America, the street is simply a dull copy. Many if not most people here think 9/11 was staged.”
What a load of bunkum!!!!!
Shubs: Greetings from Dearborn MI
Many thanks for your comment.
May I presume that if you picked up only this snippet as objectionable, you agree with the rest of the post?
Best wishes
“Pak will solve its problems sooner or later, but with Hollywood feeding these 330 millions Zero Dark Thirty, will America ever rise again?”
Delusion is sometimes useful as a source of humour.
Shubs: Glad you had a laugh. Best wishes
@ Abbastoronto : agree with most of what u wrote BUT as a general rule a comment can’t be longer than the article itself.
Late Edward Said called it ‘Orientalism’. This is how Europeas always depicted East – a exotic land of fairy tales, magic, Ali Baba and Arabian Nights. But that was when they were illiterate and living in poverty. Despite multi-culturalism, the East hasn’t changed much for the Americans.
G.A.
Orientalism was patent European, and largely Anglo-French, never Russian or German who went the other way in adopting Hindu swastika as their own. NFP satire aside, American opinion about Pakistan (and Pak opinion about America) is pretty sanguine. Whereas Euro-Asian relationship was master-slave, to be fair Americans have been pretty collegial (although few Pakistanis would agree with me).
And for us here in America, “Orient” is the Exotic Far East – China, Japan, Korea et al, never the Levant.
Best wishes
Well said Abbas..but you can’t deny the fact that so many Americans ( don’t know how it is in Canada) are so ignorant about Pak and what really goes on in the country and all their knowledge is based on what media is feeding them,like NFP also pointed out how Pak is depicted in this particular movie,that doesn’t really help either…!
curiousforeverr: Greetings from Dearborn MI
LOL. Pakistan, a half way around the globe? Most Americans know diddly squat about Canada, their erstwhile neighbour.
The fundamental question of Existence is Survival, Growth, and Evolution. Necessity is the mother of invention. People will seek knowledge only if it aids in their SGE.
Have you ever seen a truly beautiful girl or a truly handsome man at any university anywhere in the world? Such do not need to go to school, as they can do god’s work with their natural endowments alone.
America is a blessed land, can feed 10 times its population with current technology with borders shut (the only Western country to be able to do so). Therefore, Americans do not need to know about others. This is the way it is, and we should not take it as their failing, but a sign of the gift from Allah to their land.
So this movie is made by a citizen of a country where their own teams play american-football (the sissy version of rugby) against each other and the winner becomes world champion.
Though it would be good if the implications of such propaganda are commented on.
The article itself is a piece of art and very nicely thought out. I agree with every aspect of it.
That fits for us.we are a country who goes to war, loses lives, loses respect, flies to Washington, pays our PM’s dinner bills , and then declares it as a great victory…
what we do in war, they do in movies…(exaggeration !!!!)
So isnt the movie banned in Pakistan, so why bother. Or is this the way to increase the interest in the movie?
i think you are missing the point bro…
Yeah Fahad I am missing the point. At one instance they say that the movie is not good for public viewing as it may lead to violence (me missing the point here too) then we discuss the movie and its fallacies. Well to me it seems a good way to entice people in to thinking ….hey lets watch this movie after all. Just for the laughs. And there you go. The best way to popularize anything is to BAN it. Curiosity got the cat!
LOL! Loved it. Both parts: How Hollywood sees us and how us Pakistanis see America. You’re a special kind of crazy, NFP – someone unique to both India and Pakistan.
Even though I also love your serious articles, but your satire pieces are wonderful.
I would love to shake your hand sir…. someday….. and perhaps smoke a sneaky wacky backy ciggie with you
Insteresting display of idea. It is unfortunate that Film critisicm do not always reach the mainstream domain. It it was the case, it would help in empowering the western public of the changing global scenario.
wity and hilarious; make its series as well
The picture with the Autorickshaw was that clicked in Pakistan?
tharki
no offences . Its my office in DLF cybercity Gudgaon
, lot of nice infra around that place and rapid metro is coming up. Please dont kill me ,pleaseeeee. 
garam
The reason is economics/ market sensibilities. They are making a movie which has to sell in the US and people in US. They are not making a documentary on National Geographic. Watch any subcontinent movie and see how we represent Americans or Africans. Honestly if they show the reality the audience would not be able to make out if its India Pakistan or Afghanistan
On a more serious note, this is exactly how a propagnda movie is supposed to depict Pakistan. And for an average american, he does not care what “….istan” it stands for. For them all is part of “alif laila”. That way the story becomes more interesting…
You are pissed! remain angry for a while, good for health.
how could you know that events which led to the death of Osama were accurately presented. Oh! you also pitching hollywood as a consultant on Pakistan
Abasyn bhai, you are the voice of Pakistan you always speak the truth ….YOU tell us about the facts ….we are all ears. Do not let them fool us. YOU tell us abt OBL, his hunt, his whereabouts, is he alive or dead?
Yes plz ask him ,,we Pakistanis forgot to ask this very important question ??
I follow your work on dawn a lot.. not because i agree with what you say.. its because i wanna see the world from anothers perspective.. though this is the first time ever that i cant find a single point from where i could disagree from you. loved this piece from you, sir!
Doesnt matter what they want to or have depicted Pakistan as, the fact remains: Pakistan is the Golden Sparrow in today’s world. It is the jugular vein of the Asian Market and it will soon be proven
So as I say, raise your voices with me: PAKISTAN ZINDAABAAD! <3
Which planet do you live on?
Golden Sparrow? Jugular Vein of ASAIN market?
Please explain……………with logic and facts or were you also using satire as NFP?
Beliefs like your have put Pakistan in the sorry state that it is today.
Optimism without any closeness to realism is a sure recipe for disaster.
I’ll have whatever he is drinking, I too will be a Golden Sparrow.
first we should make Pakistan jugular veing to Pakistan that our Quid-e-Azam said, *Kashmir is the jugular vein of Pakistan* only then thinking of becoming something in southAsia.
It seems Quaid e Azam was a surgeon.
bro, i hope this is sarcasm.
All I want to say is… HAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHHAHAHA!
Never saw the one about birds flying upside down over Pakistan cos it ain’t worth a Dump!
hmmm….the arabic and headgear was to show the future of Pakistan. This was a futuristic movie….. a lot like star trek etc.
Yhe Picture ones were superb and spot on.
Great idea. Pakistan will be Saudistan in approximately 25 years.
Movie makers arent dumb. They do this to keep their public misinformed just as we do to our masses. Loved the piece, NFP. In the movie Vertical Limits, a pakistani general tells the white guy that we fought 3 wars with India yet we love Indian tea.. Pakistanis love african teas. 70% of our cup has Kenyan/African teas and the rest of 30% is made up with teas from various countries, including India. So, this is not because the makers of movies are misinformed. Its about keeping their people misinformed.
The idea of making movies is to entertain and not inform. People take movies so seriously and want information out of it. For information watch documentaries on National Geographic or BBC
Well these kind of movies r made to shape the thoughts of the people ,,how many of us have seen osama in real , hadnt cnn n bbc have told you that he exixsted would you know of his ezistance , ?? Ppl believe on the news channels as if they r reporting the truth ,plz wake up ,bbc ,CNN ,they all follow the agendas of their owners ,,my heart cries that no Pakistani asked for the evidence that Osama was in Pakistan ,,bcoz he was not ,,now watch the movie idiots n believe blindly ,,this is wat they want ,,just watch with a mind of a kindergartner who believes on whatever is shown to him ..
well said. second to your thought.
Well Uroos please dont cry ….there are two aspects to this. Are there not videos circulating around inciting people for jihad with footage of OBL touting a gun and giving sermons/lectures. So you think “those” clips did not influence people in to believing his existence or people just went crazy and believed that, all those fighter did not follow CNN or BBC. Now you will counter me by saying “So who made this OBL so famous” Well I would say a person is made famous by his followers and not his enemies.
And please refrain from calling others idiots and kindergarteners, even if you are the only genius person roaming the earth: People watch movies for entertainment, to get away from the mundane problems of their lives.
Nadeem, welcome to the club. After half a century of elephants and snake charmers, now Hollywood-India has graduated to call centers. And oh, the elephants are snake-charmers are still on the roads just outside the call-centers…:-)
And did you notice the Chinese with the notoriously bad teeth, or the effeminate English, or the scheming cowardly French, not to mention the brawny but dumb-as-rocks Russians?
Where would Hollywood be without its stereotypes?
Morons are universal. NFP found some in the western side. Hilarious
Hilarious… NFP, in your second part, you didn’t show the tree on which dollars grow in the US for easy pickings…
very simple argument to be placed…. pakistanis are a third world nation with rampant illiteracy and masses that doesn’t have the access to information or even water to clean shit. ….. but when a first world country produces film like this … there is only one reason behind it … that is propaganda … i would like you to comment on the international implications and perceptions of this film