Dealing with angry parents
We often feel that parents are scolding us or angry with us for things that we feel were not so bad as to warrant such a reaction. While this is not very comforting for us, we must know that parents don’t want to do this either. It’s just that sometimes when life is a little hard on their end, they expect support from their kids — no matter how young they might be. When they don’t find this support, they tend to get upset.
If you are one of those young people who often see their parents angry, then you must learn how to deal with parents and adults who are not in the best of spirits. Learning the proper way to deal with parents who are upset either at us or because of something else is crucial — regardless of the reason behind their anger. However, doing so is not completely impossible and here are some simple techniques that can help you out.
Find out the reason
Study the behavior of your parents. Try to notice what makes them unhappy and identify the things that annoy them the most or trigger their anger.
The first and most important step is, knowing what makes your parents angry. You will never be able to help yourself or improve the situation without knowing so. Once you find out the reason you can move on to the next step and avoid the nagging or doing something that makes them angrier.
Avoid the reasons
If you parents get mad at you for not completing your homework on time, try to avoid delaying your work. Similarly, if they get mad at you for not eating healthy food, try to add healthy food to your diet. Whatever the reason may be, you must know that parents always know better. They have far more experience than us and they certainly don’t want us to do the wrong things or do things the wrong way.
If they are telling you to do something or to stay away from someone or something, there must be a valid reason for that. Just try to avoid situations that are going to trigger their anger. It might be hard but it’s going to benefit you eventually.
Speak to them
If you can’t identify what makes them angry, speak to them. Ask them where you are wrong and tell them that you want to make an effort to rectify. Also tell them how their anger has negative effects on you. Don’t have this talk when they are angry because they might not be in a state to listen to you properly, but do it after things cool down a little, perhaps an hour or two after the incident or maybe even a day later.
You can also bring up the topic randomly according to their mood. Letting them know that their anger disturbs you and you are ready to comply with their instructions, will help immensely.
If you think they’re not ready to understand or it’s not possible to talk to them you might want to consult a third person. If you can’t talk to your parents, you must find someone to talk to about it. You cannot keep it inside. If you do, the situation will get even worse. And with so many people around it is never too difficult to find someone to talk to.
If you have older siblings, consult them and ask how they dealt with the situation in their younger years. If you’re close to friends, share their experiences. However, you must know that not all friends are positive with the problems of other people; some might even take advantage of you and lure you into doing bad things. You must be wise and sensible while consulting a third person. And also be mindful of the fact that if you talk to someone who likes to gossip, he or she might just spread stories about your parents and family which will put them in a bad light. So choose the person wisely.
Teachers and school counselors are great pillars of help and support. They are also wise people so their advice will always help you and guide you to find a solution of the problem. Moreover, teachers are generally trustworthy and you cannot discuss such matters with anyone who is not reliable. Hence the easiest bet is to talk it out with your teacher and ask him or her for suggestions to improve the situation.
Another safe bet can be your grandparents. They will never exploit the situation because they love you and your parents both. You can brief your grandparents about the situation and ask them to help and suggest you what to do. They might also be able to have a word with your parents and tell them about your feelings and emotions, which you’re not able to convey yourself.
Techniques to help you out
As mentioned earlier avoiding things and situations that trigger anger will help greatly but at times there are so many other small techniques to make your parents feel happier and less stressed.
Try to become responsible, be more obedient, complete your work on appropriate time, take meals properly, apologise even if you think you were right, move to a quiet location, avoid confrontation and arguments and maintain discipline in the house. While all of these put together might seem like a heavy doze, you must know that once incorporated into your lifestyle, all these are very small positive changes that will help you deal with angry parents and also nurture your personality as you grow up.
Our parents do so much for us; they literally work day in and day out just so we can get the best of education and a comfortable life. They compromise on their social life to give more time to us. They pick and drop us from school even in the scorching heat of summers without complaining once.
They get up before us in the morning and go to bed after we sleep at night, yet don’t complain once. And while doing all this, they might get tired and stressed — after all they are humans and not robots. Hence, we need to understand them and give them the special attention and care they deserve.