Sana has memories of her parents soothingly counsel her newly-wed sister and brother-in-law through their tiffs. She did not comprehend the critical nature of these counselling sessions until she herself was married years later and had experienced the turmoil of adjusting to marital life.

“My husband’s nature was very volatile,” explains Sana. “He would flare up at the most trivial of things and I had a very tough time trying to understand how his mind works.” It was Sana’s neighbours who helped counsel the couple. “They would make me and my husband sit down and smooth out our differences. From spats over why something was cooked a certain way to my need to go to my mom’s house, to the way the children were raised — everything was resolved at my neighbour’s home.”

Sana wishes she could have opted for a professional marriage counsellor trained to resolve the myriad problems in a marriage. “It would have kept my domestic affairs private.”

In our part of the world, caught up in the frenzy of wedding preparations, mothers or grandmothers will have a ‘talk’ with the bride-to-be about her new life and the role she is supposed to play in her new home. The women in the bride’s home will advise her based on their own marital experiences. Yet, she will never realise the complexity of the web of relationships she is due to enter until she is actually in her new home spending day and night with her new partner and in-laws.

Many spouses turn to self-help books to unearth the solution to their marital discord; many seek help from close friends, family elders, marriage bureaus or religious heads whom both the spouses hold in esteem.

But what happens when the tiffs between couples cannot be resolved by the amateurish intervention of your family or loved ones? Whom do you go to if you want your marriage to survive?

Clinical psychologist Dr Kausar Ansari, who is also an associate professor at the Institute of Clinical Psychology, says that only a trained psychologist, psychiatrist or trained social worker is equipped to counsel a couple who are facing a tough time in their marriage.

Dr Kausar says, “I see couples come to me due to issues of verbal abuse, sexual problems, financial tribulations, ego, jealousy, anger or one of the spouses suffering from a personality disorder or psychological issue; many a time it is some form of addiction, usually alcoholism, which takes a toll on the relationship.” Ansari shares that in our part of the world marriage is more complex due to the role of the in-laws. “It’s not just about the couple dealing with each other — it’s about the entire family influencing the couple.”

Sheila Ali, mental health consultant and psychotherapist, explains that people come to a marriage counsellor with the notion that things will be patched up. “But that is a huge misconception. A marriage counsellor cannot provide band-aid solutions to marital discord. A professional marriage counsellor is trained to act as a mediator between a couple; the counsellor helps identify the problems which exist and offers a space or environment where the couple can communicate things that they would normally not be able to.”

Sheila further elucidates, “The point of therapy is to help you figure your relationship out for yourself and accept and face things for what they are. Counselling and therapy helps you look at the right things.”

While speaking about her experience with counselling married couples who are having problems, Dr Kausar Ansari says that couples come to a counsellor as a last resort, “I get a lot of patients for marriage counselling at my private clinic who belong to the upper class but surprisingly, at the government institute I teach, I also see people from the middle and lower classes wanting to make their marriage work.” Ansari observes that some problems are similar for many marriages no matter what the class.
However, the manner in which the problems manifest can depend on the social class.

Cognitive behaviour couple therapy is one manner of tackling a couple who is facing conflict. “It aims to resolve distorted ways of thinking and reorient the perceptions and emotions of the spouses and consequently change the way a person looks at and responds to a situation,” says Ansari.

Dr Kausar says that counselling works better if both the spouses are present, willing and motivated. “If that is not a possibility and only one spouse comes to us, we listen to the nature of their problems and counsel as to how he/she can handle the situation with her partner.”

“In our part of the world women believe that they should stay in a marriage, no matter how dysfunctional, because of their children. That is a huge myth! It is far more unhealthy for children to grow up in a dysfunctional abusive environ,” says Sheila. According to her observations, the majority of children who require severe treatment for emotional issues are those who come from families where the marriage is dysfunctional.

So how popular is marriage counselling in our part of the world? Sheila quips, “There are at least 15 top-notch, qualified counsellors in Karachi — and all of them are heavily booked. That speaks for itself! The last decade has seen a huge acceptance in couples for marriage counselling.”

Sheila says with a laugh, “The first year of marriage is the worst — anybody who’s been married knows that. A wife needs to be realistic regarding her expectations from her husband — he can’t be your everything! She needs to have a productive social and professional life beyond her spouse.”

So much emphasis is placed on marriage in our part of the world, but do we prepare our children for the enormity of this relationship? For a healthier family structure for our future, we need to seriously contemplate a system of pre-marriage counselling.

The dismissal of Balochistan and Khyber Pakhtunkhwa governments had put a blot on PPP’s record, and fractured its structure; due to this it was a difficult juncture to undertake an adventure that could cost the party heavily.

With major opposition parties in a state of disarray in 1976, the PPP leadership became conscious of the emergence of the National Democratic Party (NDP) led by Sardar Sherbaz Khan Mazari, a tribal chief from Roojhan Mazari, and Begum Nasim Wali Khan, wife of the jailed National Awami Party (NAP) leader. After the killing of Hayat Mohammad Khan Sherpao in February 1975, Wali Khan and other NAP leaders were being tried in Hyderabad jail, in the case known as Hyderabad Tribunal case. Begum Nasim Wali joined hands with Sardar Sherbaz Mazari, who had previously actively supported Miss Fatima Jinnah against Ayub Khan in the presidential elections of 1964.
In the 1970 elections, which resulted in the separation of East Pakistan, Mazari had contested as an independent candidate and was elected as a National Assembly member. He was among those who opposed military action in East Pakistan.

Though a signatory to the 1973 Constitution and once a friend of Bhutto, Mazari had opposed PPP action in Balochistan and formed the NDP to fill the vacuum created by the ban on NAP. With the formation of the NDP, Sardar Mazari led the opposition in the National Assembly till 1977. He remained active in politics after the July 5, 1977 coup which led to Bhutto’s ouster. The NDP suffered a split when ultra-left elements led by Sardar Khair Bakhsh Marri pleaded for waging a struggle for the separation of Balochistan. Finally, Wali Khan and Mazari separated.

Begum Nasim Wali was among the first Pakhtun women who took active part in politics in a male-dominated society. She was the daughter of Nawabzada Mohammad Khan Hoti and sister of former communication minister Azam Khan Hoti. Begum Wali had developed a deep understanding of the politics of Pakistan. This was not accidental but was necessitated by the developments that led her to take charge. In 1976 the ban on NAP brought workers of the defunct party to her. With Sardar Sherbaz Mazari as head of the NDP, this clear-headed woman led the party as its vice-president.

The formation of the NDP was a factor that had to be considered by the PPP leadership before announcing mid-term elections. However, it failed to do so initially. The PPP saw the opposition in a state of confusion, which favoured Bhutto the most. Bhutto could not understand the move by jagirdars, landed aristocrats and notables who were not with him at the inception of the party but were now joining the PPP en masse to serve their interests. The party supporters from the lower strata considered the PPP as their own; it had pledged prosperity for them and they hoped that one day the leader would fulfill his promise.

These new entrants had, obviously, joined the party with the purpose of promoting their own cause. Bhutto’s inner cabinet which included Rafi Raza, Rao Rashid, Maulana Kausar Niazi, Hafeez Pirzada and Khan Abdul Qayyum had their reservations about the new aspirants joining the party. The other old guards had been either sacked or had quit the party after being considered a spent force. Official reports about the new applicants were conflicting. This made it difficult for Bhutto to move ahead. Time was slipping fast and important issues were being delayed.

Bhutto was sure of one thing: the opposition was not organised and he must reap the benefit of this. All his partners and advisers agreed on this point but disagreed on the best way to exploit it. This delayed everything to the extent that the opposition parties began to get more organised. By now it was close to the end of 1976.

Bhutto thought it was too early to formally launch an election campaign. Perhaps he banked too much on his ‘achievements’ and the jiyalas.

shaikhaziz38@gmail.com

Can we deny the immense effect of media, especially TV, on an average household? There have been a series of tragic incidents and natural calamities which were sensationally reported on local news channels, e.g. the earthquake in 2005, floods in recent years, air crashes, fire in buildings and factories, bomb blasts, ethnic clashes, etc. And to keep themselves updated viewers stay glued to news channels.

News channels running 24/7 undoubtedly keep us more informed but they also cause undue stress and tension.

It may be unfair to blame the media for all the apathy and anxiety, actually caused due to increasing anarchy in the country, but it has to be said that the media shows scant regard for the stress it casues in its race for top ratings and advertising profits through minute-to-minute breaking news.

For instance, remember the incidence of the live broadcast of the video clips of Owais Baig on local TV channels last November. Owais, a young man, died after falling from the burning State Life building in Karachi, in the presence of hundreds of spectators, the media and rescue workers. Throughout his 20-minute ordeal, which was telecast live, no sensible effort was made to save his life.

The video, which was later repeated multiple times on almost every channel, raised several questions regarding national conscience, professional code of conduct and responsibility of the public and media.

It is suggested that the media must launch public awareness campaigns to educate and train the masses about required actions during emergencies, such as giving way to ambulances at disaster sites, calling rescue service, getting first aid training and taking preventive measures to avoid such tragedies, etc.

Research shows that heavy exposure to stressful events is likely to contribute to hypertension, blood pressure, heart diseases and depression in middle-aged and elderly people. It may also contribute to increased frustration and anxiety among youth, especially when they are helplessly subjected to unavoidable circumstances.

Afsheen Anwer, a psychologist, believes that TV kills not just a person but a persona, a psyche and a child’s imagination. She is of the opinion that repeated exposure to onscreen violence generally leads to two possible reactions in children and the youth — they either become indifferent to what is happening in their surroundings or turn into extremely fearful and anxious individuals.

Nadia Zafar, news producer at BBC, believes that constant breaking news, bleeding red screens and elevated noise levels, deprive viewers of essential elements, such as balance, context and information. She adds, “TV journalists bear the responsibility of being the connection between the news and the people, and this carries a sort of inherent duty to treat the viewers well.”

Mansoor Ali Khan, an anchorperson on a leading news channel, believes that Pakistan unfortunately, has been the most active country in terms of tragic breaking news, especially during the last two years. He says, “Since such incidents are taking place regularly, local news channels have no option but to cover them.”

However, he added that the media should be made accountable to a representative public body that must ensure responsible journalism in the country. He believes that only this way we can expect quality journalism and responsible, balanced reporting on electronic media in Pakistan.

Sanam Rehan, mother of two children, says “Children nowadays are sensible enough to understand that breaking news is something sensational as it often leads to announcement of closure of schools the next day.” She is concerned that exposure to such harsh realities has turned the children into more intolerant and aggressive individuals.

In the absence of role models and weakening social institutions, media emerges as an alternative force that influences young minds. Pakistan’s media needs to revisit and revise its role as an emerging force, while the civil society, parents and the audience must also monitor and regularise the role of media before it is too late.

Pemra rules 2009 clearly state, “No programme shall be aired which is likely to encourage and incite violence.” More specifically, these rules prohibit any programme that denigrates children and tends to glorify crime or criminals.” However, there is hardly any implementation of the rule. Moreover, it is disturbing to learn that most TV journalists, reporters and presenters hardly get any formal training related to news coverage of serious issues and tragedies.

A single star indicates ‘very good cuisine in the category’; two stars are for an establishment offering ‘cuisine worth a detour’; and the ultimate accolade of three stars is for ‘exceptional cuisine, worth a special journey’. Over my years of gourmandising, I have been fortunate enough to eat at several one- and two-star places, and was taken out twice to three-star restaurants.

All these were memorable experiences. In three-star establishments, the service is choreographed but never obtrusive, while the décor is generally exquisite but understated. The food is, of course, exceptional to the point of being sublime. And it should be at the prices these restaurants charge. Indeed, the cost of keeping three stars is high: at least one French chef has committed suicide at losing one of these coveted symbols.

Michelin inspectors go about their business entirely anonymously, paying for their food and never giving an indication that they are reviewing a place. For me, this is the best job in the world, and I have often wondered if Michelin would award any Pakistani restaurant even a single star.

The trickiest thing to get right is consistency, and here’s where a number of lesser eateries trip up. If they are offering a narrow range of dishes based on a formula like, say, grilled food, culinary problems can be contained. But the larger the menu, the more the things that can go wrong.

And Michelin stars are about more than food: the décor, ambience and service are also factored into the total dining experience, and are rigorously graded. Presentation is a major aspect of the food being served, and is largely ignored in Pakistani restaurants.

So would I award a Michelin star to a Pakistani restaurant? I have eaten very well in several of our cities and towns, but if I apply the Michelin criteria, hardly any of these meals would fall into the category of fine dining. However, Okra has hardly ever disappointed me over the years since it opened its doors in 1999. In the beginning, you could order an excellent desi meal for lunch, while dinner consisted of good, basic Mediterranean food.

Since then, the desi offerings have been more limited (but still very good), and the Mediterranean range has expanded. The seafood is fresh and vibrant, and generally cooked just right, something other establishments struggle to do. Our chefs tend to overcook fish to death in the belief that a couple of minutes on each side couldn’t possibly be enough.

The steaks are also uniformly cooked to the right degree: even patrons asking for well-done steaks are accommodated, although in my view, such requests should be turned down. Cooking a piece of tender fillet to this point dries out the juices. Indeed, one famous chef in England had a sign on the window of his restaurant saying “We do not serve well-done steak”.

There is a wide range of starters, and the fresh figs with goat’s cheese are light and clean-tasting. But before you have ordered, you are served with a basket of different fresh breads accompanied with herb-flavoured butter and virgin olive oil. Go easy on these as it’s very easy to gorge yourself on the bread.

The desserts are all tempting, and I usually succumb to the home-made vanilla ice cream with flakes of sea salt. This combination melds flavours and textures in a unique way. For chocaholics, there are many gooey concoctions to savour.

The décor has always had an appealing rustic simplicity, with simple wooden tables and chairs, combining with pastel shades to produce a minimal Mediterranean effect.
The service is friendly and courteous without being fawning and obsequious. Above all, the waiters are very knowledgeable about the menu, and can explain each dish and make their own recommendations. One minor mystery about Okra is how the chefs manage to turn out such good food from such a tiny kitchen.

So should Michelin ever decide to head to Pakistan, I suggest their inspectors begin with Okra.

Dear In-Control,
Honeybun, you need to buy your boyfriend a Barbie doll and run the other way! The doll will obey him no matter what and he can get her to cover herself from head to toe like he wants. He can also win all arguments with her and mould her into becoming his dream girl.

Your boyfriend is trying to control you and you have been resisting it like a strong independent girl. A man who tries to control what you wear today will tell you tomorrow who you can meet and who you can talk to. That may work for some women — yes there are some who enjoy being controlled and told what they can and cannot do. However, from your letter you sound stronger and more independent than that. This calls for some soul searching on your part to decide how you feel about control and act accordingly.

But a word before anyone tells you that love and control are the same thing. Never let anyone tell you that. If you start doing purdah or hijab it should be because you want to. If you get pressured into covering up or stop meeting certain people on your boyfriend’s instructions, you will only end up resenting it.

A man who wants to control his girlfriend or wife usually does so because he is weak and doesn’t feel in control of life in general. A balanced man with healthy self esteem will respect that you are a human being with choices and personal preference and will only tell you how to dress if you ask him to.

Dear Auntie (if you don’t mind),
I am a 45-year-old man, happily married with four kids. For the past couple of years, I have been noticing that my wife doesn’t attract me the way she used to five or six years ago as she has put on some weight and doesn’t take good care of her appearance. My wife is a reasonably attractive woman and I have no problems with her as she is taking good care of my home and kids. She also has a mature and strong personality and my parents are also happy with her. To summarise, she is an ideal wife and mother.

However, nowadays I feel that girls much younger than myself appeal to me quite strongly. I also want to clarify that I am quite a religious man and have never had any extra-marital affairs at any stage in my life. Even before marriage I resisted the temptation of having any type of relations with the opposite gender, what to talk of any physical relations with girls. I am a simple and unassuming person and have no intentions whatsoever of cheating on my wife. I feel that I am being lured by the glitz and glamour of media and the women appearing on television and the present day fashionable girls seen in abundance at marketplaces wearing provocative clothing.

What do you suggest I should do to overcome these feelings? I am very disturbed over this state of mind and confused how to overpower the desire of getting involved with young and attractive girls.
Really bewildered

Dear Nephew (I don’t mind),
You are having fantasies of getting involved with other women, but it is important that you realise that that doesn’t mean that your relationship with your wife has failed.
No relationship is ever perfect and that’s why two people have to continuously work at their relationship to keep it a happy and healthy one.

The fact is that when people get hitched they don’t die and become oblivious to all pretty young things walking around. You need to get in touch with your desires. What is it that you are looking for when these temptresses walk by or appear on TV? If it is only a matter of admiring someone’s good looks, then just keep it to that. It is never a good idea to risk a good relationship over someone’s looks.

Next home in on the real issue: What is it that you are lacking in your relationship that is making you look outside your relationship? Do you need to cultivate a friendlier and open relationship with your wife? Start communicating with her and see where that takes you. Consider talking to your partner about how you feel.

Decide what is more important to you. It is obvious from your letter that you are already halfway on this so you don’t need convincing. You already know that a liaison with a pretty young thing will mess up what you truly cherish in life: your family. And anything you start with the PYT will be marred by the fact that it started when you cheated.

And finally, to truly nip any temptation in the bud, ask yourself how you would feel if your partner decided to cheat on you? Would you break up the family? Would you ever trust her again? This should help you decide what to do and treat temptations as they ought to be treated: as temporary and meaningless attractions.

Auntie will not reply privately to any query. Please send concise queries to auntieagni@gmail.com

Creating and successfully maintaining rooftop gardens on flat areas of the roof is, in many respects, quite a different proposition from growing plants, edible and otherwise, in an area of actual garden ground. But as long as certain basic principles are kept in mind, with a liberal dose of added common sense for good measure, a rooftop garden can be a veritable paradise indeed.

First and foremost is the need to establish if your house roof is structurally suitable to take the extremely heavy weight of necessary containers, pots, earth (wet earth is surprisingly heavy), plants and other assorted accoutrements associated with working on, and then being able to relax in, your rooftop retreat. Discussing the issue with the original architect of the property is ideal but, where this isn’t possible, then taking the advice of another architect or experienced building contractor is a sensible step as you most certainly do not want the house roof to crack, cave in, or for the ceilings below to be damaged by water seeping through.

Also of high importance is the amount of exposure to direct sunlight and wind the roof is subject to at different times of the year as, according to this, it may be necessary to incorporate firmly fixed shade and wind protection barriers before the space is suitable for the cultivation of plants. It is, of course, possible to use shade giving, dense foliage, climbing and rambling plants, growing over strong frames and trellises for these purposes, with the varieties of plants suitable for such use varying depending on the region in which you reside.

Rooftop gardens tend, due to exposure, to require more water than gardens on the ground as the plants receive more sunlight and the pots, walls and the roof itself all soak up heat during the day and radiate it out at night, therefore, a convenient water source is of immense importance as, if at all possible, is an on-the-spot water storage facility for those times when load-shedding prevents the pumping up of water from other sources. Rooftops are correspondingly cooler too, over the winter months, and tender plants may require extra protection from low temperatures and cold winds which their more sheltered ground level companions may not require at all.

Rather than have dozens of heavy clay pots scattered around, it can be more sensible to create some form of raised garden beds on the roof, their length and width sensibly distributed over main, load-bearing, construction beams. Such beds can, if structural waterproofing is sound, be laid directly on the roof itself although it is, of course, still necessary to incorporate some form of drainage into the bed so that any runoff water, from watering or as a result of rain, has a place to escape. Raised beds can also be constructed standing a few inches, even a couple of feet or more, above the actual roof level.

They can easily be made out of wood or by securing planks around the edges of old tables with holes drilled through the table top for drainage or even on top of a charpoy base. Such raised beds, with planting depths varying from four to eight inches, are ideal for a whole host of flowers, vegetables and herbs although climbers, grapes for instance, need containers with a soil depth of 18 inches or more.

Other good ideas for rooftop containers, keeping weight in mind, are heavy duty buckets and bins of all sizes, half drums, lined baskets and just about anything else you can think of — giving recycling of unwanted or broken household items priority over going out and purchasing new containers to use. Always keep the end weight — this being container full of wet earth and plants — in the forefront of your mind, plus, whenever possible, distribute heavy weights all around the rooftop rather than concentrating them in one place.

All plants that can be garden grown, except for full-sized trees, can, with the correct care and attention, be successfully cultivated on the rooftops of houses and small blocks of apartments but growing an Eden on top of a high-rise building usually requires different techniques although, in a major effort at greening up cityscapes all over the world, high-rise gardening is being increasingly incorporated into all sorts of structures with even orchards now being cultivated way up in the sky.

Please send your gardening queries to zahrahnasir@hotmail.com. Remember to include your location. The writer will not respond directly by e-mail. Emails with attachments will not be opened.

Azra Bibi is ageless, or so she seems. She has been ‘there’ for at least two, possibly three generations of children who have, under her guidance, sailed through the ups and downs of life with courage and the strength gained from her endless patience and wisdom which are, like the treats in the kitchen cupboard, dispensed as required.

“I was married and widowed before I was 15 years old,” this still sprightly lady, her smiling face weathered and lined, recalls. “I have always loved children and not having any myself, got in to the habit of making a fuss over the countless children of my siblings and of my neighbours’ too. Luckily, my in-laws who I lived with, didn’t mind that there were always children buzzing around like bees.”

Azra Aunty, as these legions of children, some grown up with children of their own now, call her, glows with joy at the sight of a group of young boys playing cricket on a flat piece of ground just below her mountainside home a few kilometres outside Murree. “Better they play cricket than sit inside and watch television” she says. “When they’ve finished they’ll all arrive here looking for a glass of cold water and will rattle on about what happened in school today and who did what to who and why. They make my day with their chatter. The same with all the girls too, although these days they grow up so fast and, before you know it, talk of nothing but fashion and nail polish,” she says with a mischievous twinkle in her eyes.

Mothering others comes naturally to Azra Bibi, as does helping children deal with whatever problems they face in their lives. “It’s me they come and talk to when something is wrong, often something they don’t want to discuss with their parents and it’s me they run and tell good news to first. It’s as if I am all of their mothers rolled in to one” she says proudly, blushing a little as she adds, “the thing is, we are the best of friends as well which, as I have come to understand over the years, is a gift that few children share with their birth mother. I am blessed indeed.”

Bonding with children who are not their own by birth is a special ‘something’ that some women, single or otherwise, have and, depending on personal circumstances along with societal conventions, can lead them, as with Azra Bibi, to be a mother figure for all, to follow careers as children’s nurses, to establish or work in orphanages, to dedicate their lives to helping the children of the less fortunate, to becoming teachers or to taking in and bringing up children ‘birthed’ by others, either through legal adoption or via privately arranged fostering.

Such women become either the mother the child never had or a replacement for the mother they don’t get along with for countless children all over the world.“I don’t know what I would have done without my foster mother” says Amna, a middle-aged lady from Lahore. “My own mother developed serious mental problems after the birth of my younger brother when I was five years old. I hated going home from school because my mother would be so depressed that all she could do was sit and cry; on other days she would roar and shout and hit out if any of us went near her. It was a relief when we children were sent to stay with a distant relative, an unmarried lady who loved children, in another part of the city. This lady quickly became our mother, a mother who did all the things with us that a mother is supposed to do. We called her mother too, and still do.

“Our real mother passed away a few years ago but for many years, even though we were taken to visit her once a week, she hadn’t known who we were and, terrible as it sounds, none of us missed her as we had, and still have, our foster mother who loves us as our birth mother, poor woman, never could. Father is still alive but he had his hands full with mother and very little time for us. He has always, sadly, been a stranger.”

Women like Azra Bibi and Amna’s foster mother are prime examples of what can, in a way, be termed ‘universal motherhood’ and these women, like mothers everywhere, should, at all times — not just on ‘Mother’s Day’— be recognised for what they are — mothers in every sense of the word.

The first successful ascent of K2, which at 8,611 metres is the world’s second highest mountain, was achieved by Achille Compagnoni and Lino Lacedelli (both from Italy) on July 31, 1954. They were members of an Italian expedition led by Ardito Desio. The 50th anniversary of this historic ascent was celebrated in August 2004 when thousands of mountaineers, trekkers and tourists gathered in Skardu to mark the occasion. That is when the Italians came in and offered funding to implement the management plan of the CKNP.

This management of the CKNP includes the participation of the Government of Pakistan, WWF-Pakistan, IUCN-Pakistan, Ev-K2-CNR (a non-profit Italian scientific research association) and other Italian research agencies. In spite of the impressive size and grandeur of this park, the ecosystem is fragile and threatened by environmental changes. In 2009 the Ev-K2-CNR introduced a comprehensive research programme called the Socio Economic Environmental Development (SEED) project for the CKNP.

Last week SEED organised an event in Islamabad to formally launch their policy brief for water management in the CKNP. “We have to find ways to better preserve and use water”, explained the project director, Raffaele Del Cima. “We are working in a tough and challenging environment but have actively engaged local institutions and organisations”. The SEED project is going to work on a hazard map for landslides and will also make an inventory of all the glaciers in the area. Selected glaciers will also be field-surveyed to evaluate glacier mass balance and glacier length changes. “We would like to create synergies with other stakeholders while building the resilience of the communities to climate change”.

SEED has hired scientific experts like Daniela Giardina who spoke about the adverse impacts of climate change like floods (caused by excessive rainfall) and Glacier Lake Outburst Floods (caused by melting glaciers). “Higher temperatures in the region are also affecting the availability of water resources. What is needed is adaptation to climate change, which includes better water management. This area has the largest glacier deposit after the polar region — we must find ways to protect the water”.

However, due to the lack of reliable data, the SEED project had to call in experts from Italy to do the scientific research. The glaciologists are making an inventory of how much water is available in the glaciers while hydrologists are studying how much water is available to villages in the area. A water quality team is finding out if the water is safe to drink for the villagers. They have already started this work by collecting water samples from 20 locations and sending it to a laboratory in Italy for testing. They discovered that the water was indeed contaminated with different bacteria in places like Karimabad. “The contaminants were found mostly in the villages where there was a close presence of domestic animals and not in the high areas. There is also the problem of a lack of waste water disposal” explained Giardina.

A water-testing laboratory has now been established at the Karakoram International University (KIU) with help from the project. The students of KIU are now helping to carry out research in the CKNP. “They are studying the birds of the park, they are learning wood carving techniques, they are monitoring — on the weekends they are all out in the field collecting data and carrying out research” explained the Vice Chancellor of KIU, Dr Najma Najam.

Amongst the main policy recommendations of the project are to publicise the findings of the scientific community so that policy makers can learn from them and to increase awareness of the local communities on water protection and hygienic behaviour. For example, the communities should not allow their animals near their water sources and they need to boil the water before drinking it in the villages at least. In the end, everyone living in the high mountains needs to be sensitised about water quality, supply and protection.

The media may have played a role in bringing about this change, so perhaps, has the consumer-driven society, but it has been a positive change for mothers who now have a common ground where they can spend time with their daughters.

S, a medical student, says, “I agree the relationship has changed but for the better. Going to the salon or for a cup of coffee is a new way of bonding and of getting closer to each other.”

In this generation, mothers and daughters have more in common than ever. They share clothes, secrets, bags and sometimes, careers. Thanks to a rising trend for fitness mothers can match their daughters stride for stride, even in the looks department. For some daughters, this may be a problem. S disagrees, “No mother will ever compete with her daughter or try to show her up,” she believes. However F, another young doctor, recalls, “My mum had me when she was 19 and my relationship with her was terribly strained all through my teens. It sounds silly but it was a huge issue for me — she was gorgeous and I was ugly. All my guy friends found her attractive and even the family always made comparisons between us.”

However, things have changed for the better and F, now 28, admits to enjoying quality time with her mother, “Our joint salon trip is much awaited, I borrow her saris, do her makeup. None of this would have been possible as a surly teenager who was hostile because “ammi aap ne mujhe apna rang or shakal nai di to bhai ko kyun di?”

Uzma, mother of a 24-year-old daughter says, “My daughter and I are mother/ daughter, sisters, friends; we discuss everything under the sun. There is no competition between us; her friends spend time with me as well and she joins us when my friends come over. I cannot understand what leads to issues between mothers and daughters.”

Sometimes issues arise when the mother is very close in age to her daughter and emotionally not very mature. In such cases, a mother may raise the daughter more like a sister and then they go on to compete like sisters. But with age, such issues generally dissolve.

One of the best gifts of growing up is to discover that your mother is a person in her own right; someone who can be your buddy if only both of you can step away from the petty problems of the past and acknowledge each other as adult individuals. This Mother’s Day may be a good time to see if your mom can be your new best friend.

Back at home, an equally important matter awaited him — the appointment of a new chief of army staff (COAS), as former chief, Gen Tikka Khan, was to retire on Feb 29, 1976. In fact, Bhutto had been looking for some replacement well before Tikka’s retirement. He had initially thought of giving an extension to Tikka Khan but the idea was dropped for some reason, especially due to his role in East Pakistan where his ruthless execution of ‘Operation Searchlight’ was seriously condemned by the international community, earning him the title of ‘Butcher of Bengal’. After Bhutto’s takeover, he was appointed COAS on March 3, 1972 and continued in this post till Feb 26, 1976.

Bhutto sought his advisers’ counsel regarding a suitable general to take over as new COAS. The names they suggested included Gen Ghulam Gilani, the ISI director-general and confidant and Gen Imtiaz, his military secretary.

Bhutto had to be very cautious in his selection as Pakistan’s post-Independence history was dotted with army interference and takeovers. Even today, it is not completely clear why Bhutto not only rejected the names suggested by his advisors, he also superseded seven senior generals to appoint Gen Ziaul Haq as COAS. These seven generals were: Mohammad Sharif, Mohammad Akbar Khan, Aftab Ahmad Khan, Azmat Bakhsh Awan, Agha Ibrahim Akram, Abdul Majeed Malik and Ghulam Gilani.

It is said that Bhutto became impressed by Ziaul Haq’s conduct in 1973 when he was appointed to preside over a court martial proceeding to try some officers charged with a conspiracy to overthrow the government. In accordance with the norms, Bhutto sought the outgoing army chief, Tikka Khan’s advice regarding the matter, who recommended either Gen Akbar or Gen Sharif for the post. However, this conversation was obviously a mere formality as Bhutto’s mind was made up.

Like all pre-independence generals, the Jallandhar-born Ziaul Haq also joined the British army during the Second World War and joined the Pakistan army after independence. He was sent to Jordan in 1967 where he stayed for three years. He trained Jordanian soldiers and led the operation known as Black September, a very regrettable action against Palestinians in Jordan.

A great number of Palestinians had settled in Jordan after the creation of Israel in 1948 and over time they formed a strong minority and raised the question of an independent Palestine. King Hussein of Jordan feared that the Palestinians could endanger his kingdom; he therefore ordered an action against Palestinian camps. The estimated number of Palestinians killed in this action is believed to be anywhere from 2,000 to 25,000, depending on the source. It is however certain that their forces were thoroughly routed. Thanks to his role in this action, Ziaul Haq, a brigadier at that time, came to be remembered as the Palestinian killer in his own country.

The choice of Gen Ziaul Haq as army chief was an unpardonable error for a man like Bhutto to commit. His associates also had reservations; Zia was reported to be “quiet and watchful” with strong rightist leanings, but Bhutto thought that, as he was a junior officer, elevating him to a high position would earn his lasting loyalty. Bhutto remembered a visit to Multan in 1975 where, according to Gen Naseerullah Babar, after inspecting a tank, Gen Zia placed his hand on the Quran and said: “You are the saviour of Pakistan and we owe it to you to be totally loyal to you.”

Bhutto might have been taken in by the façade and thought that Zia was too simple to double-cross him. Unfortunately, he proved to be disastrously wrong. Zia’s appointment to the most crucial position was a lethal error which never benefited Bhutto, even during the Pakistan National Alliance uprising a year later, and eventually led to the takeover and to the gallows.

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