WE have much too much gloom and doom surrounding us - it is high time we had some fun and games.

"My centre is giving way, my right is in retreat; situation excellent. I shall attack." During the closing months of World War I, so said Ferdinand Foch (1851-1929) Marshal of France, of Great Britain and of Poland, and Commander of the Allied Forces. Foch is generally accounted as the leader most responsible for the Allied victory. King Albert I of Belgium said of him: "That man could make the dead fight."

That was over eighty years ago. Time moves on, but this country has failed to move on with it. We are not at war. Our centre is not giving way. Our right is not in retreat. However, the situation may not be excellent. On October 19 2000, front-page headlines informed us: "Anti-Pakistan utterances - leaders to be dealt with strictly: Govt." (Dawn); "Anti-Pak rhetoric not to be tolerated" (The Nation); "Cabinet warns of stern action against anti-Pak statements. Seeks report on statements of Altaf, Muttahida delegation, Magsi, Mumtaz Bhutto" (The News).

"General Haider Sahib, people are talking against the national security, the army, the two-nation theory and geographical boundaries ..... why don"t you take action against them?" This is what Dawn reported General Pervez Musharraf as having said in the cabinet meeting of October 18. And, "You better know what is the punishment for talking against the Constitution," an interior ministry official is quoted as having told Dawn after the cabinet meeting. "The Cabinet decided that anit-state activities would not be allowed and anybody making statements against Pakistan would be dealt with severely," is quoted in The Nation as being an official statement made after the meeting.

The News reports: "Chief Executive General Pervez Musharraf chaired the meeting which was also attended by all the provincial governors. Though it was not an agenda item, the Chief Executive took the initiative of pointing out anti-Pakistan statements by certain political leaders and regretted the irresponsible attitude of these leaders. 'They can criticise my person, policies of the government, but they should not be allowed to talk against Pakistan,' Musharraf told the cabinet as quoted by the source."

May we remind the general that he has deprived the corrupt politicians of their very livelihood, of their bread and butter, not just their jam. So should they not cry, should they not protest? And should they not be allowed to say what they will? And should whatever they say not be treated with utter disdain? This takes me back to my school, BVS, to Gujerati Class III to my class master, Ranchordass Nagardass who wielding the school cane with gay abandon used to say "I will beat you, it will hurt, but you cannot cry."

Can we not assure the general that the statements of these disgraced men, if so made and correctly reported, do far less harm to the people and our country than signs put outside the parks by his officers in uniform, in military cantonments and housing societies informing those who wish to use the park, that the wearing of shorts is banned. The signs are directed at men and young boys. Just what is the message conveyed? It does not take too long to work it out in these fundamentalist-closed mind-orientated days.

The name of the game is cricket, on which subject I wrote last week. In response, I received one message from an irate octogenarian aunt asking me what is so great about Pakistan having a woman's cricket team. We Parsis, she told me, had one in the early 1900s. Why don't you write on Zoroastrian achievements in the sporting world? she asked. My telling her that that we BC wallas have enjoyed their empires and their glory, now let's encourage the new-comers, the AD wallas, did not appease her. She referred me to the book Parsis and Sports written by Hormuzdiyar Dhunjishaw Darukhanawala. As his name suggests he comes from a family of wine merchants.

This quaint book was written in Bombay in 1935, sponsored by advertisements inserted by Parsi firms and individuals. One advertiser is Darukhanawala himself, a roller-skater, the proprietor and instructor of the Bombay Skating Class at Gowalia Tank. The advertisement tells readers: "This class has had the honour of receiving tuitions in the art of roller skating from the ex-world champion skater Mr A. S. Tony of Vienna, trick and fancy roller-skater and speciality dancer," Duke & Sons of Grant Road, Bombay, specialists in bottling and selling non-alcoholic drinks, advertised their speciality, Prune Ade, 'the most palatable of all sweet drinks, made of Bordeaux prunes'."

Tharsa Manufacturing Company owned by Taimuljee Wadia, a pharmacist, was famous for the dispensing of Wadia's own special mixture "Tharsa (for external use only)" which was advertised as "A tried and proven remedy for paralysis, pneumonia, cramps, palpitation of the heart, heart disease, lumbago, pain in joints and bones, asthma, swelling in the throat, pain in the abdomen, swelling in joints, and rheumatic pains of all kind. Wounds caused by sharp iron can be successfully cured by Tharsa. Sold Everywhere."

In the chapter on cricket in Bombay, the book quotes from a speech given by Sir Pherozeshah Mehta in April 1886 at a dinner given in honour of the Parsi team that was leaving for England to play against the English team:

"I, gentlemen, remember the time about a quarter of a century ago when our co-religionists first took to cricketing. Those days are quite fresh in my mind from the fact of my being one of the very first who was engaged in this game. This fact was unknown to fame, and I am particularly glad to make a public announcement this evening that it was on the maidan outside the ramparts that the pioneers of cricket, proud of their bats and stumps, which were made by a native carpenter, had begun to play. Since then the game has flourished among us ...... The days of my exploits on the cricket field have long since passed away, but to this day there is no more agreeable sight to me in Bombay, while passing down Esplanade Road, than that of the whole maidan overspread by a lot of enthusiastic Parsi and Hindu cricketers, keenly and eagerly engaged in this many game.

"I may say that the object of the team in going to England is a very modest one. Cricket as you know is the national game of England. It has taken root among the Parsi community, and as artists go to Italy to do homage to the great Masters ....... so now the Parsis are going to England to do homage to the English cricketers, to learn something of that noble and manly pastime in the very country which is its chosen home."

The team played 28 matches in England, one resulting in victory, 19 being lost and eight drawn.

Sir Dhanjibhoy Bomanji (still living when the book was written) is described as being in his younger days "a true physical culturist, having been a pupil of the late Eugene Sandow, 'The Strong Man of Europe' and the pioneer of physical culture, who a quarter of a century ago was called to Bombay by Sir Dhanjibhoy to give him special physical treatment." Apparently, within a few months "he acquired a marvellous physique and was considered to be one of the strongest men in his community."

Sir Dorab Tata (1859-1932) as recounts the book "won his colours at Caius for cricket, rugger and soccer and played tennis for the college. Coxed a college boat. Won several sprint events on the cinder path, including a 120 yards. Varsity handicap. Was a member of the varsity long vacation cricket eleven in 1878. Won his colours as a Crusader. Was a member of the MCC, the Surrey Club, the Ranelagh and Hurlingham Clubs, also Queen's Club. On return to India he captained the Parsi Cricket Club and took representative Parsi teams to play against the Poona Gymkhana. Later he helped start the Parsi Gymkhana of which he was the Hon Secretary for about ten years, and captained the cricket team during that period ...... In him the Parsi community lost a great patron of sport and a great Industrialist."

Morals for the day: Despite our ever-increasing enemies of laughter, we must learn to laugh more. And despite our ever-greedy developers and builders, whatever maidans and open spaces we still have must be kept as maidans and open spaces for our deprived but enthusiastic young sportspeople.