ON saying ‘we need to laugh at ourselves’ one is accused by the many ‘patriots’ of being cynical, and while saying ‘crying will not help’, moaner-groaners, who are experts at bluffing themselves, blast one for being pessimistic.

Much e-mail flak has come in following my last two columns with the above two accusations being predominant. Yet, the world’s assumption and the international ‘think tank’ thinking has it that Pakistan is amongst the first ten of the listed failed states and amongst the first seven in the field of those skilled in corruption. Now, this being so, money looks for safety and security. Contrary to what our present prime minister, Shaukat Aziz, may say, no one but a few of the exceedingly oil rich Arabs may wish to risk a bit of the wealth they possess.

Our population, according to those who can properly calculate such figures, is around 166 million, yet the statistics department of this government, perhaps the greatest bluffer we have, puts it at 150 million. How does it arrive at this unique figure? Our press, and international sources, confirms that unemployment and inflation are on the increase. The many robber barons amongs those who occupy the countless chairs in our assemblies and in the vast cabinet rob whatever can be robbed, whatever is left to be robbed, sugar and cement but being two examples that spring to mind.

The government and its wise advisers who advise on such matters waste much money on “deterrents” without asking themselves, quite simply, who is the likely attacker, who is mad enough to want a sick country, vastly overpopulated with a large segment of illiterate fanatics and bigots, lacking in water, electricity, mineral wealth, and many other desirables?

With illiteracy rife, the little literacy we have is under attack, what with textbooks that attempt to project reality and teach our children reason and compassion being banned by the blind who lead the ministry of education.

As for wealth, our prime minister will most probably hold that our foreign reserves are close to US$ 13 billion. Does he know that the endowment fund of just one university in the US, Harvard University, stands at close to $29 billion?

President General Pervez Musharraf wants, once again, to project Pakistan’s ‘soft image,’ thereby implying that the reality now projected by unreasonable people is ‘hard.’ Now, an image can only be close to reality. He can try — and he has tried against myriad odds and in the face of much advice given to him that has been to his detriment, and to the country’s detriment. However, to repeat, there is nothing else visible on the distant horizon that can possibly be better than he at this particular moment in time. This is the hard truth and a bitter one to swallow.

For the record and certainly no laughing matter, there is a listing of the leadership, imposed or questionably chosen, that this country has had since its inception to date :

Governors-general (representing the British monarch as head of state) : August 15, 1947 — September 11, 1948, Mohammad Ali Jinnah (1876-1948 ); September 14, 1948 — October 17, 1951 Khwaja Nazimuddin (1894-1964) ; October 17, 1951 — October 6, 1955, Ghulam Mohammad (1895-1956) ; October 6, 1955 — March 23, 1956, Major General Iskander Mirza (1899-1969).

Presidents : March 23, 1956 — October 27, 1958 Major-General Iskander Mirza ; October 27, 1958 — March 31, 1969 General Mohammad Ayub Khan (1907-1974) ; March 31, 1969 — December 20, 1971 General Agha Mohammad Yahya Khan (1907-1974) ; December 20, 1971 — August 13, 1973 Zulfikar Ali Bhutto (1928-1979 ; August 14, 1973 — September 16, 1978 Fazal Elahi Chaudhri (1904-1982 ); September 16, 1978 — August 17, 1988 General Mohammad Ziaul Haq (1924-1988) ; August 17, 1988 — July 18, 1993 Ghulam Ishaq Khan (1915- ) ; July 18, 1993 — November 14, 1993 Wasim Sajjad (interim) (1941- ) ; November 14, 1993 — December 2, 1997 Farooq Ahmad Khan Leghari (1940- ) ; December 2, 1997 — January 1, 1998 Wasim Sajjad (interim) ; January 1, 1998 — June 20, 2001 Mohammad Rafiq Tarar (1929- ) ; June 20, 2001 — General Pervez Musharraf (1943- ).

Prime Ministers : July 19, 1947 — October 16, 1951 Liaquat Ali Khan (1895-1951) ; October 17, 1951 — April 17, 1953 Khwaja Nazimuddin ; April 17, 1953 — August 11, 1955 Mohammad Ali Bogra (1909-1963) ; August 11, 1955 — September 12, 1956, Chaudhri Mohammad Ali (1905-1980 ; September 12, 1956 — October 17, 1957 Huseyn Shaheed Suhrawardy (1893-1963) ; October 17, 1957 — December 16, 1957 Ismail Ibrahim Chundrigar (1897-1960) ; December 16, 1957 — October 7, 1958 Malik Feroz Khan Noon (1893-1970) ; October 7, 1958 — October 28, 1958 General Mohammad Ayub Khan; (CMLA) ; December 7, 1971 — December 20, 1971 Nurul Amin (1893-1974) ; August 14, 1973 — July 5, 1977 Zulfikar Ali Bhutto ; July 5, 1977 — March 24, 1985 General Mohammad Ziaul Haq (CMLA ; March 24, 1985 — May 29, 1988 Mohammad Khan Junejo (1932-1993) ; June 9, 1988 — August 17, 1988 General Mohammad Ziaul Haq ; December 2, 1988 — August 6, 1990 Benazir Bhutto (1953- ) ; August 6, 1990 — November 6, 1990 Ghulam Mustafa Jatoi (1931- ) ; November 6, 1990 — April 18, 1993 Mohammad Nawaz Sharif (1949- ) ; April 18, 1993 — May 26, 1993 Balakh Sher Mazari (1928?- ) ; May 26, 1993 — July 18, 1993 Mohammad Nawaz Sharif ; July 18, 1993 — October 19, 1993 Moeen Qureshi (1930- ) ; October 19, 1993 — November 5, 1996 Benazir Bhutto ; November 5, 1996 — February 17, 1997 Malik Meraj Khalid (1916-2003) ; February 17, 1997 — October 12, 1999 Mohammad Nawaz Sharif ; October 12, 1999 — November 23, 2002 General Pervez Musharraf (Chief Executive) ; November 23, 2002 — June 30, 2004 Mir Zafarullah Khan Jamali (1944- ) ; June 30, 2004 — August 25, 2004 Chaudhry Shujaat Hussain (1945- ) ; August 28, 2004 Shaukat Aziz (1949- ).

The above has been listed for the convenience of the people. Let them stick it on their walls next to their calendars, check it out each day, and decide for themselves who of those named above were wise men, with good intentions, who ruled well. Let them count how many stuck to their chairs until they were shot out, literally or otherwise, and how many did whatever it took to stick to their chairs in their quest to destroy their country. Let them make their own assessment.

Empires have been lost. What does it take to lose the motheaten half of what is left of what was once a whole country?

E-mail: arfc@cyber.net.pk