A new teacher was trying to make use of her knowledge of child psychology to make the children learn better. She started her class by saying, “Everyone who thinks you’re stupid, stand up.” After a few seconds, little Johnny stood up. The teacher said, “Do you think you're stupid, Johnny?” “No Ma’am,” he said, “but I hate to see you standing up there all by yourself.”

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A school kid asks his teacher, “Is it true that the law of gravity keeps us on Earth?” The teacher replied, “Yes.” The kid then asked, “What kept us before the law was passed?”

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Teacher: “What is a synonym?” Student: “A synonym is a word you use when you can’t spell the other one.”

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Professor: “This essay on your dog is, word for word, the same as your brother’s.” Student: “Yes, sir, it’s the same dog.”

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“Son, I’m worried about your being at the bottom of the class.” “Dad, they teach the same stuff at both ends.”

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A promising seven-year-old was given the difficult assignment in class of describing the taste of chocolate ice cream in a single sentence. “Chocolate,” she explained, “tastes the opposite of vanilla.”

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Teacher: “What is the purpose of  having school?” Student: “Without school there wouldn’t be a reason for holidays and summer vacation.”

— Compiled by The Surfer