Cricket according to Munawar Hassan and Maulana Fazalur Rehman …
If Misbah was a member of the Jamat-i-Islami …
If Misbah was a member of the JUI-F …
If Misbah was a member of PTI …
If Misbah was a member of the PML-N …
If Misbah was a member of the PPP …
If Misbah was a member of the MQM …
Blogs
Nadeem F. Paracha is a cultural critic and senior columnist for Dawn Newspaper and Dawn.com. He is also the author of two books on the social history of Pakistan, End of the Past and The Pakistan Anti-Hero.
He tweets @NadeemfParacha
Read more
On DawnNews
Comments (114) Closed
Omar Qadir
Nov 13, 2013 09:31am
Well done Sir, You have done it again...hahahhaha...You are a star. (Please do add a little in put by amm awam.... "Mera sab to wada masla bijli hai".
Recommend
0
HP
Nov 13, 2013 09:48am
'Is that a drone missile in your hand, liberal scum?'
couldn't stop laughing , simply brilliant
Recommend
0
Rabia
Nov 13, 2013 10:05am
Many have said this but I'll say it again: This man is a genius at unabashed satire. Viva NFP!
Recommend
0
Arya
Nov 13, 2013 09:58am
awesome...
Recommend
0
Arya
Nov 13, 2013 09:58am
awesome...
Recommend
0
Saira
Nov 13, 2013 10:00am
good read... "Please talk to the phone" is like best and most suited
Recommend
0
Usman Aftab
Nov 13, 2013 10:11am
Can't stop laughing. What a refreshing start to the day! Thanks NFP!
Recommend
0
pakiboy
Nov 13, 2013 10:15am
genius !!
Recommend
0
HS
Nov 13, 2013 10:16am
HAHAHAHAHA.. what a way to start off the day! Cheers and kudos mate!
Recommend
0
YOusafZai
Nov 13, 2013 10:13am
Shaheed if playing against non-Muslim countries
Recommend
0
YOusafZai
Nov 13, 2013 10:23am
Shaheed if playing against non Muslims team haha
Recommend
0
Raza Khan
Nov 13, 2013 10:27am
witty.
Recommend
0
asif
Nov 13, 2013 10:29am
Well done NFP once again good article. you are my favourite
Recommend
0
uzair Baluch
Nov 13, 2013 10:33am
short and crisp... lovely
Recommend
0
uzair Baluch
Nov 13, 2013 10:25am
short and crisp....great job
Recommend
0
vasan
Nov 13, 2013 10:36am
Burst out laughing. Cant stop even if I think of it. Wonder when you will write an article on what these religious guys think of Nadeem Paracha
Recommend
0
Mujtaba
Nov 13, 2013 10:28am
Wiat.. If you look closely it is a star!
Oh wait, Is that Najam Sethi, the American Pithhoo??
if you look closely there is an eye on the face of Misbah, a freemason sign..
Oh who am I kidding, I am a Yahoodi agent.
Recommend
0
Farhan
Nov 13, 2013 10:45am
HAHA this was incredibly funny!!
Recommend
0
Sumair Ahmed
Nov 13, 2013 10:44am
Already my frriends above me mentioned about what a refreshing start of a day! .. Hahahah ..
Excellently Explained via Cricket Language!! :P
Recommend
0
Usmana
Nov 13, 2013 10:54am
Great Work. Keep up the good work : )) I newly moved to dawn after quitting The News. Hope to see more and more realistic news. At Jang or The News I always see Negative side of my beloved Pakistan.
Recommend
0
Capt C M Khan
Nov 13, 2013 10:56am
hahahaha.....Team Misbah.......love it.
Recommend
0
Waqas
Nov 13, 2013 11:02am
Sarcasm is your super power and it reflects in your work Great job NFP
Recommend
0
DaoudM
Nov 13, 2013 11:15am
Funny but sad analogy to the state of affairs in Pakistan!!
Recommend
0
Nasir-ud-din Soomro
Nov 13, 2013 11:07am
Sweet slaughter of our good for nothing Cricket team...Keep chopping them Nadeem.
Recommend
0
John
Nov 13, 2013 11:07am
Thanks NFP. That raises one question why does Pakistan play cricket with infidels? Why not organize a World Muslim Cricket Cup?
Recommend
0
BRR
Nov 13, 2013 11:17am
Please talk to the phone --- good one - ha,ha,ha.
Recommend
0
Rabia
Nov 13, 2013 11:30am
@Nasir-ud-din Soomro:
Actually it's not taking pot shots at the team but at the right-wing mindset of the country's middle classes. You obviously failed to catch the humour.
Recommend
0
Ansari
Nov 13, 2013 11:24am
Probably the greatest political satirist living on the face of this earth is always too soft on PPP and MQM.
Recommend
0
Asim
Nov 13, 2013 11:50am
classico.. can't stop laughing !
Recommend
0
Azaad
Nov 13, 2013 11:54am
@John:
Brilliant suggestion!!! Comentary should be in Saudi accented Arabic. No liberal paper (e.g.Dawn) should be allowed to cover the games and only those TV stations that guaranteed women would not watch the game should be allowed to telecast it. Players may not wear western clothes - Captains should wear Saudi Thobes, others may wear shalwar. Only Saudis be allowed to umpire.........
Recommend
0
ZR
Nov 13, 2013 11:55am
I am extremely critical of NFP but his two recent pieces: This one & Cult following have been First Class! Loved this!
Recommend
0
Usman
Nov 13, 2013 12:03pm
M.H embarrassed most of us a lot then any other political stupidity we face these days...
Recommend
0
Nomi
Nov 13, 2013 12:16pm
Hilarious!
Recommend
0
Rameez
Nov 13, 2013 12:19pm
@John:
Beacuse then Bangladesh and Afghanistan will beat us, and a final without Mumlikat-e-Khudadaad is no final at all.
Recommend
0
N K Ali
Nov 13, 2013 12:14pm
This political cum sporting collage is a brilliant exhibition of our existing thinking and deeds. Time to wake up fellow Pakistanis and start walking, working, and REFRESHING OUR THINKING. Salams
Recommend
0
Mujaahid
Nov 13, 2013 12:16pm
Please talk to the phone! LOL, Man! you are incredible.
Recommend
0
Saira Anwar
Nov 13, 2013 12:34pm
NFP should be on TV, but it is said that he himself stays away from appearing on TV. I once met him at last February's Karachi Literature Festival where he was moderating a session of political satire. It was one of the best sessions of the festival and the large hall was jam-packed with people. With a straight face he cracked witty and sarcastic remarks and the audience erupted in laughter.
After the session he was surrounded by his fans and people who wanted to meet and talk to him. But I found him to be an extremely shy, humble and private man. Many young men and women also wanted his autograph but he politely refused. When I asked for the same, he pushed my notebook back to me and asked for MY autograph. Haha.
Recommend
0
Cricketer
Nov 13, 2013 12:43pm
@Azaad: Correction Sir..
The Pakistani situation when it comes to religon is straight out a Deobandi vs Bralvee vs shia scenario. I don't see Saudia in it as they are Hanbalies (Wahabis,per say).
The Ds and Bs are courtesy of India!!! so let's make it all indian inlieu of Saudia :-)
Recommend
0
karl
Nov 13, 2013 01:06pm
This series was preparation for the World Cup.
Good tactics, fooling them into complacency.
Recommend
0
Goga Nalaik
Nov 13, 2013 01:09pm
Excellent as usual!
I loved Inzmam the mujahid 'Yes, thanks to GoD boys plays wells ...'
and also
'Foreign hand' :)
Your fan
Recommend
0
Mirza Waseem Baig
Nov 13, 2013 01:49pm
Hilarious, but the star of David should have been transposed over the PCB Star to really give it an impact.
Recommend
0
NoNy
Nov 13, 2013 02:01pm
NFP got that art of highlighting extreme absurdities of our politics and culture in a very light and digestible way.
Recommend
0
ailly
Nov 13, 2013 02:04pm
this was in the highest bracket.... hilarious and delivered at the right time... now what do you say Mr JI and Mr JUIF ?.
Recommend
0
saad
Nov 13, 2013 02:00pm
Awsome
Recommend
0
Parvez
Nov 13, 2013 02:06pm
Gosh !...you are good. Star of David was just outstanding.
Recommend
0
Shiva
Nov 13, 2013 02:11pm
Hilarious.
Would love to visit PAK.
It is sad to see that the great Indus Valley Civilization reduced to few sects who don't see each other.
Hope, PAK would realize and make great progress.
I experienced great hospitality from PAK friends.
Best Wishes to PAK
Recommend
0
syed imtiaz ahmed
Nov 13, 2013 02:29pm
I am a student of the one of the big university of Pakistan. Al mostly I have lost all the reasons to smile.I even don't see the dramas and entertainment movies either Pakistani or Indian .I even don't see the TV shows of pakistan. I found all of them absurd.even they donot cover the minor issues of pakistan.all they want is ratings and glamour.In this blind allay I read only NFP articles.In my computer lab sometimes i laugh in such a high voice that other thought me as insane.Thatz my moments of pleasure in life until now.I request NFP to write more and more please and bring smiles to the depressed and gloomy peoples
Recommend
0
Ghani
Nov 13, 2013 02:41pm
@Saira Anwar:
You are right. I met him at the Festival as well. He was down-to-earth and polite, but had a lot of charisma. He's the kind of guy who, though very quiet and private, is at once noticed when he come into a room. It was pleasure meeting him.
Recommend
0
Yaar
Nov 13, 2013 02:33pm
!
Recommend
0
Ganesh (India)
Nov 13, 2013 03:20pm
@Ansari:
Because probably they are least bad options for Pakistan's future
Recommend
0
saira malik
Nov 13, 2013 03:55pm
U are spot on....There's a reason why I have been reading everything u write since the days of MAG:)
Recommend
0
Bablo
Nov 13, 2013 04:05pm
I am unable to stop my laughters.......
Recommend
0
Kanishk
Nov 13, 2013 04:09pm
Funny :)
Recommend
0
Ali
Nov 13, 2013 04:31pm
Hilarious!
Recommend
0
Rashid
Nov 13, 2013 05:03pm
NFP once gain at his best.
Recommend
0
mystic
Nov 13, 2013 05:15pm
If Misbah was a member of PPP, he would have bought a franchise in IPL and a chateau in France.
Recommend
0
Amar
Nov 13, 2013 05:12pm
HAHAHAHAHAHHHHHHAAHHAAA. This is one of the best ever.
Recommend
0
Goga Nalaik
Nov 13, 2013 05:27pm
@Ansari:
so what if he is an ex Piplia !
Recommend
0
Mohit Sharma
Nov 13, 2013 05:40pm
This satire made me remember about a "sher" of Late Shri Khabar Sahib, a great poet from my town....sumo di rudad-e- muhabbat ik ansu main.....is se bhi mukhatsar karte to aur kya karte....
Recommend
0
Blister
Nov 13, 2013 06:01pm
Superb piece of work. I went through the last bit thinking "MQM ko nahee bolay ga....MQM ko nahee bolay ga..." and then chukkaaaaaaaa!!!!!!! BUhhahhaaaaaa. I think this is the best one can do without causing much offence but I get a feeling Inzi must have started the chilla for NFP. Thanks be to God......theres ......NFP!
Recommend
0
GuruG
Nov 13, 2013 06:39pm
@Mohit Sharma:
Beautiful verse. I will google Shri Khabar Sahib.
Recommend
0
Nirdosh
Nov 13, 2013 07:07pm
Superb work!
Recommend
0
Loud Speaker
Nov 13, 2013 07:08pm
The Best ever. Thanks NFP sir.
Recommend
0
Karachi Wala
Nov 13, 2013 07:18pm
@ailly:
"this was in the highest bracket.... hilarious and delivered at the right time... now what do you say Mr JI and Mr JUIF" ?.
Don't worry JI, JUIF are very creative. They sure will provide more material for NFP to write.
Recommend
0
Karachi Wala
Nov 13, 2013 07:22pm
@Mujaahid:
"Please talk to the phone! LOL, Man! you are incredible"
Press 90 and talk to the phone:)
Recommend
0
sars
Nov 13, 2013 07:32pm
Fantastic! i hope this shames some of them
Recommend
0
lubna
Nov 13, 2013 07:46pm
well two truths among sarcasm---one team pakistan. two zionist lobby----good job
Recommend
0
Asher
Nov 13, 2013 07:46pm
Beautiful!! Mr.NFP could you please write cricket according to Orya and Ansar Abbasi.Thanks for making us smile.
Recommend
0
Raj
Nov 13, 2013 08:11pm
Brilliant as usual NFP. You make my day like always
You missed the one I witnessed. Sajid Mehmood (England) bowled Pakistani batsmen and Pakistani's in Britain calling him Kafir.
Recommend
0
Anand
Nov 13, 2013 08:05pm
Hilarious.....
Recommend
0
vigilant
Nov 13, 2013 08:46pm
Superb can't stop laughing :)
Recommend
0
Saima
Nov 13, 2013 09:24pm
What a great article with minimum words and maximum truth, infused with great sense of humor.
Recommend
0
farid
Nov 13, 2013 09:23pm
sir your way to present is so different from the rest of others sooooo well presented the approach of confused nation
Recommend
0
Karachi Wala
Nov 13, 2013 09:24pm
It
Recommend
0
Karachi Wala
Nov 13, 2013 09:26pm
It
Recommend
0
TKhan
Nov 13, 2013 09:41pm
@syed imtiaz ahmed:
Take English Writing 101 next semester! It will help.
Recommend
0
Nik3
Nov 13, 2013 10:29pm
Gr8! Pakistan has best of sarcastic and heart touching critics in sub continent. Can you visit Indian TV news channels, which are boring to the extent of irritating currently sir?
Recommend
0
please publish this one
Nov 13, 2013 10:52pm
@Ansari:
No Ansari Sb., You are probably used to Geo TV channel who is paid to spew venom against PPP. It hates PPP for its own commercial reasons. It also has a big time agenda against MQM for personal reasons. Not to suggest that these two parties are ideal or perfect. They are as bad as rest of Pakistan but our innocent media portrays these two as parties of fools and thugs (and PML-N and PTI as parties of true Muslims and patriotic Pakistanis). Money talks Ansari Sb. If NFP is soft on PPP and MQM, it is because of his own ideological inclinations. It is perfectly fine to have ideological inclinations like the ones NFP has than the ones Orya Maqbool and Ansaar Abbasi have.
Recommend
0
pathanoo
Nov 13, 2013 11:42pm
Endless, Brilliant Satire yet again from NFP that tells the truth bluntly. BRAVO!!
Recommend
0
Daanish Wali
Nov 14, 2013 12:18am
Haha Bravo as always Nadeem Sahib!
Recommend
0
Saad Zafar
Nov 14, 2013 12:15am
This is freaking hilarious
Recommend
0
Anand
Nov 14, 2013 12:48am
Brilliant! Because you can mock, you can rise. If Pakistan can show this strength of criticism, then you will compete and be a competitor. We need you to succeed, Pakistan! Stay the course and be strong.
Recommend
0
Sanjay
Nov 14, 2013 01:05am
nice
Recommend
0
EL CHOR
Nov 14, 2013 01:37am
@TKhan:
HE EXPRESSED HIS FEELINGS.
And you appeard as a rude dumb 'burger'.
Recommend
0
yussouf m mir
Nov 14, 2013 02:31am
PAKISTANI CIRKET IS JUST LIKE ITS PM--DULL/LAZY/WHAT IS IT IN FOR ME/BEGGING BOWL HABITS/DYSFUNCTIONAL STATE
Recommend
0
rafiq
Nov 14, 2013 02:58am
lovely
Recommend
0
Sal
Nov 14, 2013 03:12am
@John:
That's risky cuz it will expose them against Bangladesh and Afghanistan :)
Recommend
0
K.J Grewal
Nov 14, 2013 03:15am
I am an Indian who lives in USA and likes to read news from the Indian Subcontinent and I must admit that writers in Pakistan are lot more fun,creative and interesting to read compared to their Indian counterparts. Nadeem Paracha keep up the good work and as long as Pakistan has people like there is a hope of better tomorrow!!
Recommend
0
Sal
Nov 14, 2013 03:16am
@Ansari:
Let's crank it up a little then: if Misbah was a member of PPP, "We lost the match because of our policy of reconciliation"
If Misbah was a member of MQM: "We lost because we raise the voice for the 98% of the deprived classes of Pakistan"
Recommend
0
sja
Nov 14, 2013 05:21am
@Ali:
and TOO PICTORIOUS TOO????
Recommend
0
Nasiroski
Nov 14, 2013 06:16am
@syed imtiaz ahmed:
Dude relax you are too cynical for your age. Not watching entertainment on TV is fine but not for the reason you mentioned, emotions do not elevate you knowledge does and this is what we don't get preached and taught in Pakistan. Both state and clergy has rammed down this hollow emotions down our throats for too long and thus produced a nation which full of emotions and lacks knowledge or ability to use it while making decisions for themselves and hence get highly polarized and over zealous.
Go have fun with whatever works for you just no emotions and no extremes, and certainly not on others expense.
Recommend
0
Mushtaq
Nov 14, 2013 06:49am
All this but no hit on the players, wow :)
Recommend
0
vj
Nov 14, 2013 08:59am
this is master piece amazing pics each pics is saying 1000 words and in amazingly funny way
Recommend
0
Gina
Nov 14, 2013 09:54am
Loved the use of Mithun and dancing girl photo! Made my day :)
Recommend
0
Roll on
Nov 14, 2013 12:50pm
Super.
Recommend
0
Rao
Nov 14, 2013 01:46pm
ROFL
Recommend
0
Awais
Nov 14, 2013 02:05pm
Hilarious.
Recommend
0
Shah
Nov 14, 2013 02:33pm
Team Pakistan - Our performance will BLOW you away !!!
Recommend
0
Ammad
Nov 14, 2013 03:49pm
Hahaha ! great
Recommend
0
aisha
Nov 14, 2013 04:00pm
Thankfully you had the guts to satire about other parties besides PTI.
Recommend
0
MohammadAli
Nov 14, 2013 04:17pm
Keep them coming!
In today's "Hard TImes" we need to be able to laugh at our selves.
Recommend
0
anu
Nov 14, 2013 05:46pm
@Nik3:
I second that!
Recommend
0
expaki
Nov 14, 2013 08:54pm
***Oye wonderful PARACHIAA !! jeonda Raho. TODAY while reading you, I could not control ... .... I will not reveal out come :-))) Paracha Sahib, Khuda bless yo.
Recommend
0
Ibaad
Nov 15, 2013 12:42am
@aisha:
Except his favorite PPPP off course.
Recommend
0
Muhammad Masood Iqbal
Nov 15, 2013 01:33am
Good composition.
Recommend
0
Milind
Nov 15, 2013 09:34am
@ K J Grewal - " I must admit that writers in Pakistan are lot more fun,creative and interesting to read compared to their Indian counterparts"
Our writers and journos are on the payroll of the rulers... The same goes for cricketers (especially bowlers), singers as well.. Here in India we have thrown a lot of money, naively believing that more money would lead to better skills. Alas the commercialisation and glamour are killing the 'real thing'
Recommend
0
syed imtiaz ahmed
Nov 15, 2013 04:21pm
@TKhan:thanks
Recommend
0
Ghazala
Nov 15, 2013 05:33pm
Thanks NFP, you've said it all! ROTFLOL!
Recommend
0
ahmad butt
Nov 15, 2013 05:56pm
@Milind:
Its the same in Pakistan as well, free thinkers like NFP are like salt in wheat. And to go mainstream you need to pull a few strings, polish a few shoes, bow your head to the powerful and salute the mighty rising sun. Its the legacy of all third world countries, but then again the first world ones guise it in a more presentable democratic way, and they call it lobbying. In Pakistan, people are generally skeptical and speak their heart out, unless someone eventually knows their price tag
Recommend
0
Akram
Nov 15, 2013 06:50pm
as ever hilarious...
Recommend
0
AbbasToronto
Nov 15, 2013 08:05pm
Poetic, like a ghazal, saying so much in so few words.
Recommend
0
Hassaan
Nov 15, 2013 08:51pm
Ya jonsa article hy, bohat acha hy :)
Recommend
0
ahmed
Nov 16, 2013 09:08am
Well Misbah and his family actually do support PTI.
Recommend
0
Mustafa Nazir
Nov 16, 2013 03:52pm
Insightful as always Paracha Sahib
Recommend
0