Till death us do part … well, maybe not. In spite of vowing lifelong allegiance to one another in church or circling a sacred flame seven times before a pandit, sometimes it all does go up in smoke. When that happens, Hindu and Christian communities in Pakistan have several options before them, even though they are not to be resorted to lightly.

“The Christian concept of marriage is based on the Bible,” says Bishop Ijaz Inayat. “Marriage is not a social contract; couples are united in a lifelong partnership by pledging to each other that they will not forsake each other until death for any reason whatsoever. The Bible clearly says that God hates divorce.”

The grounds upon which divorce is allowed largely revolve around sexual impropriety, which is looked upon with opprobrium by the Church. The Divorce Act, 1869, which is based on biblical teachings, provides the legal foundation for divorce-related matters for Christians in Pakistan. A husband or wife seeking dissolution of marriage or judicial separation has to file a petition in a civil court.

For a man, there is only one ground for divorce: adultery. “Accusation of adultery must be supported with evidence and witnesses, and the individual with whom adultery has been committed must be made a co-respondent in the case,” says lawyer Naeem Ghauri who deals with Christian family law. “If the court is satisfied, then it can grant a divorce. It may decide to only grant a judicial separation.”

For women, there are several grounds for dissolution of marriage; among them, bigamy with adultery, incestuous adultery, adultery coupled with desertion for two years or more, adultery coupled with cruelty, and rape, sodomy, bestiality. A woman can also divorce her husband if he changes his religion and contracts marriage with another woman.

The Divorce Act 1869 also defines the grounds for annulment of marriage. Among these are impotence, insanity or marriage within prohibited degrees.

Although the stigma associated with divorce has dissipated to a large extent, divorcees are excluded from certain aspects of religious life. For instance, they cannot take part in the sacrament of holy communion.

“There is, however, growing tolerance towards the divorcee,” says Bishop Inayat. “This is based on the understanding of God’s attitude towards sinners. The Bible says, ‘God hates sin, but loves the sinner’.”

The lengthy procedure for divorce however, and the high burden of proof for adultery can lead to desperate measures. “People, often from poor backgrounds, sometimes convert to another religion in order to dissolve their marriage,” says Safina Gill, a social activist from the Christian community. “But it often ends in terrible feelings of guilt for the individual concerned.”

The Hindu religion does not allow divorce, a restriction that in Pakistan assumes a particular significance. For here, in the absence of a Hindu marriage law, the very act of marriage itself cannot be registered.

According to Kishan Chand Parwani, Chairman, All Hindu Rights Organisation and former MNA, he introduced a private member’s bill in the National Assembly in 2011 which pertained to Hindu marriages. Among other details, it specified grounds for separation (impotence, physical abuse, financial deprivation without reasonable cause). But the bill has yet to become law.

“While divorce is allowed under civil law in India, we only believe in separation,” says Mr Parwani. “The younger generation may think differently but we can’t allow a situation in which there will be shauqia (casual) divorces.”

Nevertheless, there are customary ways of ending a marriage. “A man wanting to end his marriage has to go to his wife’s family and place a dupatta on her head, a ritual that symbolises the severing of the marital tie,” says social activist Dr Sono Khangarani.

A panchayat of community elders oversees the break-up during which both the families place constraints upon the remarriage of the man and woman. Sometimes former partners do not allow the others’ remarriage within his or her sub-caste, known as nuk. Jewellery given to the woman as dowry, or as a gift from her in-laws, must be returned.

The power to break up a marriage, however, is only allowed to the husband. The wife has to be satisfied with a separation. Meanwhile her husband can marry again. And again. “Culturally there’s no bar on multiple wives,” says Dr Khangarani. “In fact, a man can even be married to two sisters at the same time.”