Supposedly taking inspiration from the massive Indian tri-color fluttering above New Delhi, Prime Minister Nawaz Sharif has directed CDA to install a Pakistani flag of similar dimensions in Islamabad.

It’s a fairly uncontroversial proposal that not many are expected to object to. Who would be unpatriotic enough to denounce the installation of a national flag, other than an undercover Mossad agent, a terrorist, or maybe a liberal?

The opposition, in keeping up with its proud tradition of lambasting government projects, may have to get creative. While the Metro bus project continually attracts mixed reviews, those buses do have, on the very least, more purpose than to look pretty.

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This whopping 541-foot flag is expected to wave atop a flagpole about 200-feet tall. I believe it’d be uncharacteristically uncompetitive of us to not attempt a flagpole at least 208 feet tall. I use that figure intently, knowing that its existing counterpart in Central Park, Delhi is 207 feet high. If the mast is made purposefully smaller than the one in Delhi, who is to say it won’t anger some local elements?

This flagpole, by no means, would be an inexpensive one. Consider the one in India which has ignited a row between the Flag Foundation of India (FFI) and the New Delhi Municipal Council (NDMC) over who would incur the maintenance costs of the structure. The tussle is hilariously ironic to be had over a monument intended to symbolize national unity.

As it turns out, the halogen lights illuminating the flag, the guards’ salaries, frequent repairs, or even replacement, of the gargantuan banner (each banner costs INR 64,000) simply refuse to pay for themselves! Please bear in mind that a structure of such proportions is not a ‘flag’, it’s a ‘monument’.

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Nevermind the costs, which are still mere pocket change compared to the other projects the government’s undertaking, there’s also a matter of originality. I’m reluctant to see this as revenge for Bollywood plagiarizing our music, or all the good movie ideas out of Lollywood (all three of them). It could be a statement that whatever India does, we can do better. Or maybe it’s really just a big flag, and I’m truly overthinking this, just as my friends incessantly argue that I do.

That still doesn’t change my belief in the project being somewhat puerile.

“Delhi’s parents got her a big flag on her birthday! Why can’t I have one?”

“Honey, you have plenty of great national monuments! What about the pretty flower at Zero Point daddy and I got you not too long ago?”

“It’s not the same thing, mom! Nobody understands me!”

Furthermore, will we also be violating some of the vexillological ethics as India does? It is generally considered in bad taste to let the sun set on your national flag, which must be taken down and re-hoisted the next morning. India keeps its giant banner up, come dawn or dusk. It’s not only inconvenient to change it daily, but one also risks causing unnecessary damage. Could Pakistan afford the same chutzpah?

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Let’s be clear about this: this is not a complaint. I don’t see much of a need for a behemoth flagpole in Islamabad, but I also don’t yet see a reason to protest it. What vexes me, as always, is unbridled nationalism that consumes us, as it consumes our Eastern neighbor; a fervor, of which this flagpole duel could well be a sign of.

So Godspeed, and let a colossal banner wave over our proud city. Perhaps if we try hard enough, we’ll weave up a banner so massive, it’ll effectively shroud all our political misdemeanors and national embarrassments.