Dear Auntie, I am a 15-year-old girl and I know that I am fat. However, throughout my recent years there has been a mix of comments that people make regarding my weight. Some tend to say that I am fat, while a few suggest that I am ‘fine’. My family is a chubby one, so it does have some effect on me too, but I don’t blame them for it completely.

I need some advice because I am just confused about this. I have Lordosis (an abnormality of the spine) as well. Weight-concerned

Dear Lose it,

You have probably heard all this before and Auntie will just repeat it here: there is no shortcut to losing weight. It takes will power and hard work to burn off the pounds and even though some people find it difficult to do, the results are worth it.

Avoid fad diets that may temporarily get you in shape, but can be bad for your health. It may be worth sitting down with your doctor to figure out a healthy diet plan that works for you. On your own you can make the following adjustments to your diet and lifestyle.

Try and increase your intake of vegetables (this is the time to learn to love them!). Veggies will help you stay full which will hopefully discourage you from hovering around your fridge all day. Drink lots and lots of water. It’s summertime, so you’ve got more of a reason to do. Besides you’ll end up with great skin if you chug down about eight glasses. 

Keep far, far away from junk food. Take a homemade snack to school. It may seem uncool when you dig into a healthy veg sandwich while your friends gobble up their canteenwali masala fries, but think of how cool and svelte you’ll look at the school carnival and learn to love the sandwich. Also make an internal rule that you will only eat at the table. That should dissuade you from opening an unhealthy packet of chips while watching your favourite show on the telly.

Finally, stay busy. Anyone who has struggled with their weight knows that boredom is one of the biggest excuses to nibble on this and chomp on that. The best use of your time? Exercise of course!

Do consult a nutritionist for a plan appropriate to you and for your medical condition please consult a doctor.

Dear Auntie,

My dilemma is that after having married a bit late I’m cornered by my old friends who want to invite us as a couple (they are all married) and to have family outings. Now these friends were okay when I used to meet them alone, one-on-one, but I’m wary about taking the relationships further and turn them into family get-togethers. I don’t even want to visit them once.

The reason for this is their social perceptions of a bride, their way of living and the typical tongue-in-cheek remarks they make about my late wedding which will make me uncomfortable and may have an adverse effect on the friendships. I was never comfortable about including them in family circles. How to get out of this?

Groom

Dear Husband,

Just wondering how long you can keep coming up with glib excuses to keep your friends away from your wife. That doesn’t sound very practical and if it goes on for too long, you might end up losing a few old friends. The key to executing a successful visit with your buddies is in prepping your wife for the dynamics of your friends. Prepare your wife for whatever you expect to face when you take her to meet your friends. Tell her about the things that trigger some of them and the odd things some of them might say.

You’re not the first man who is dreading introducing his significant other to crazy friends. In fact, Auntie can safely say that everyone who gets married has all sorts of dysfunctional relatives and mad friends … it’s almost a given, and hiding from it and trying to pretend those people don’t exist is just impractical.

Tell your wife that your friends are great guys, but that they are a little crazy and like to pull everyone’s leg, including yours. You can also tell them that they were on your case to get married, so they might joke a bit about that.

Maybe you can have a secret warning sign that your wife and you can share, if things get out of hand and you want to leave or if you want her to stop talking about a particular topic.

In any case, your friends are adults, right? While you maybe dreading the visit, who knows, they just might surprise you with how well they behave in front of your wife. Give your friends the benefit of the doubt and take her to meet them. It just might go well. Who knows, your wife might even end up becoming friends with the other wives. If it doesn’t go well, you have a solid excuse to just opt out in future.

Auntie will not reply privately to any query. Please send concise queries to: auntieagni@gmail.com

Published in Dawn, Sunday Magazine, August 10th, 2014