WHEN your kitty brings you a present — a dead mouse — it’s not a gift that you desire but your furry pal means well

The day I had discovered that there was a little mouse in the kitchen, I was really excited. I planned how to chase, corner and attack it and then present it to my human.

Working on my hunting plan, I moved my favourite napping spot from the soft living-room couch to the one of the chairs at the kitchen table. Not so comfortable, but here, apart from the joy of startling people who wanted to sit on the chair only to find my ample furry being sprawled on the cushion, I could lie for hours waiting for the slightest little sound from the cupboard. I would then jump down and start sniffing vigorously around the cupboard and scratch the door to scare the life out of whatever little prey was inside and then stick my whiskers in the tiny opening at the back which no one in the house apparently knew about.

Where was the darned little thing? When would it appear so that I could pounce on it and I was pretty sure that it would be my super-pounce that would be a catastrophe for the mouse. Mewhahaha!

Waiting for the mysterious mouse to make a grand appearance, I fell asleep and dreamt of presenting the dead mouse to my human. I would pompously walk up to her, my tail proudly held in the air, my eyes a cold blue, and the sharp shooter and merciless killer that I imagine myself to be, the mouse dangles from my mouth by its tail. But then… MEAOWWRRHH! I was most rudely awakened by my human who nearly sat on me with her steaming cup of coffee.

A week later, when an exciting chase and dangerous attack failed, I presented my human with a dead cockroach that I found in the kitchen. She was watching a movie with a bowl of popcorn on her lap. I had quietly jumped up on the couch, and opened my mouth to drop the cockroach in her lap. In seconds, she screamed and jumped up and there was popcorn all over the place. I fled from the room and hid in the kitchen until she stopped shrieking and yelling at me at what an insensitive little beast I had been.

Why don’t humans understand us? What had I done? Just given her a little present to say “I love you”!

Whether it’s an outdoor cat who brings the real thing, or an indoor cat who lovingly drops a dirty little toy mouse on your pillow, it is actually a way for us to say thanks to you, show you our love and pay you back with a little present. We are also saying that we want to feed you (like you feed us), we are showing off what great hunters we are and in return we want you to put up a big, huge fuss. But the fuss that we get is not what we expect. What is all the screaming and running away for, if not to hurt my feelings?

Even if she wasn’t going to eat it, she could have told me how amazing I was at having made the effort to organise a clever plan and get the little dead bird inside the house just to make her happy.

Mama cats bring prey for their kittens. Cats who live in colonies share prey with their families and friends, big cats like lions and tigers eat together. Bringing them a gift is all about kitty appreciation for our human friends and we shouldn’t be punished for it, the gift should not be ignored, nor thrown out but gently removed without insults and humiliation for us. We are not going to stop doing this, because we are cats and it is what we do. The startle reaction should be toned down a bit, the fuss turned up and the cat should be thanked and praised for all the work that went in.

Since it is a loving gesture, it should be treated like one.