BULLIES are a big problem everywhere — in school, university, workplace and neighbourhood. Our first encounter with a bully is usually in school, the kid who teases us in the school playground, who shoves us or snatches our lunch, leaving us scared and teary-eyed.

If we are able to stand up to the bully till he or she stops the bullying, or can find a way to put an end to it when we first experience it, bullying will not be a problem for us later on in life because we will know how to deal with it. So today we will discuss what we should do when we are being bullied or when we see someone else facing this problem.

So here are some really useful tips to tackle bullies.

Bullying is bad

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By repeatedly teasing someone or calling them insulting names, you can be bullying that person. So you might also be a bully without realising or meaning it. Reflect upon your behaviour towards others, if you think you have in any way been annoying someone and enjoying it, stop it right now because the other person may not be enjoying it. And this can become a very bad habit.

Why do bullies bully?

BULLIES are attention-seekers, who want to feel important and powerful. By picking on someone, mostly shy, younger or physically smaller kids, they tend to feel more powerful and in control.

They may have anger issues, may have been bullied themselves, or that’s the way they have seen people behaving, so shouting and fighting is what comes naturally to them.

Bullies pick their victims with care. Shy kids who lack confidence, those they know they can annoy or get a reaction from easily, those who are different from them in some way may become their victims.

Avoid the bully

TRY and avoid interaction with the bully, but this does not mean you should skip school or hide all day. Just try and take a different route or pretend to be occupied with some task or be in a group so that the bully does not catch you alone.

Have a friend around

TELL your friends about the bully and ask them to remain with you or come to your rescue when the bully tries to trouble you. If the bully is troubling you as well as your friends, if as a group you all stand up to him or his group of bullies, you are likely to dissuade him and he will know that it is better to leave you guys alone.

Be brave

AS long as you keep getting scared of the bully, and keep showing it to him or her that you are scared, the bully will keep troubling you. Bullies thrive on the feeling of power they feel when they see fear in the eyes of their victims, so be, or at least act, brave in front of the bully.

You can first practice in front of the mirror or a friend, how you will stand up tall and look straight at the bully and politely, but confidently, say to him or her, “Please stop this. I don’t like it.” Or you can say, “I need to go, move aside.”

Come up with an appropriate confident command that suits the situation you usually have to face with the bully. If this doesn’t help, follow the next tips.

Don’t fight

FIGHTING with a bully will just give him the pleasure of getting a reaction from you. He will enjoy seeing you getting all angry and may actually be waiting for you to hit him so that he can hit you harder. He is probably bigger and stronger than you that is why he chose you as his target and he can easily knock you down.

So don’t hit or push the bully, fighting is a big ‘no-no’.

Scream!

Yes, whenever someone bullies or harasses you, just shout loudly to attract others’ attention towards what is happening with you. Don’t be embarrassed to do this because it’s not you but the bully who should feel ashamed of troubling you. And the bully will definitely not want to be caught making trouble.

Tell an adult

THIS is the most important step that you should take whenever anyone bullies or misbehaves with you. Tell your parents, teachers, elder siblings or anyone else in authority about the bully so that they can talk to the bully or do something to stop this matter before it goes any further.

If you feel you are not confident enough to follow any of the earlier tips, then you should straight away seek an adult’s help to handle the bully. Don’t be afraid to do so because it will not make things worse for you, even if the bully threatens you with dire consequences of telling someone about it. n

Scared and cornered

By Sadia Maqsood

SANA is in bed, her eyes are sore with crying. Every night she cries herself to sleep. Every day the same group of senior girls in school trouble her. Sometimes they snatch her lunchbox and eat her lunch, leaving her hungry for the long school hours; sometimes they tear the pages of her notebooks or scribble on her assignment; sometimes they play pranks on her to get her into trouble; sometimes they insult her in front of everybody; sometimes they push her fiercely when they pass by her; and most of the time they call her horrible names that they’ve invented for her.

Every day, a new torture awaited her. Why do they do this to her? Because she has no friends, because the teachers like her, because her ponytail looks funny, because her teeth stick out or because she’s dark? Is that her fault?

Every day she begs her parents to let her not go to school, she would study at home, but they always refuse saying that she should be strong; it would be alright one day. But how to be strong? When will this end? School has become a nightmare!

There’s a group of girls who sit in a circle laughing and chattering loudly. It’s their favourite part of the day when in turns each of them tells the others how she had enjoyed playing her part in the game. The game is really simple: each girl annoys one of the little juniors in school in some way. There are many ways: pulling her funny ponytail, stealing things from her bag, pushing her, calling her names like ‘ugly duckling’, ‘bunny-rabbit’, ‘stinky toad’. But the best part is making a show of her in the break when everybody is around. How that little cry-baby starts crying! It’s so much fun!

Who are these people? I call them ‘beasts’. You call them ‘bullies’.

Do you find yourself in Sana, the girl in the first story? Do you feel empathetic towards her? If yes, then I’m sure you have faced or face the same situations as her in school. But what do you do? Do you seek refuge in some corner of the school in break time to be out of sight of the bully? Do you stand with your head bent as the bully laughs at you, feeling utterly powerless, or you just start crying, completely helpless?

What should you really do? You are too troubled and afraid to realise how to stop the bullies. But only you can do something to help yourself. You have to do something yourself. You have to stand up when the beast knocks you down, brush off the dust, hold your chin up, walk up to him or her, grab the collar of the shirt, give the person a shake and roar! Scare her. Show her that it really is too much, that you have been compelled to do this, that you can no longer stand it, that you’re not afraid.

Silence is the best way to defeat these beasts but when silence does not work, you have to find another way. You have to gather courage, stand up and fight.

Or do you identify yourself as one of the bullies who enjoys making others miserable? If yes, then do you feel a little ashamed of yourself now? Has your guilty conscience been aroused? Do you realise now what your simple game of ‘bullying’ can do to the person you are teasing or hurting? Do you have any idea how hurt and depressed they feel due to the game you play for mere pleasure? Bullying is not a joke. Think about it.