Carmageddon!

Published April 12, 2015

While they’ve all been fast and furious, the best films in the series (namely 5 and 6) have featured a somewhat serviceable story that has helped the outrageously-choreographed, high-octane action scenes shift steadily from first into fifth gear.

Fast and Furious 7 on the other hand moves only in top gear. From the opening scene to the grand finale, the film is one jaw-dropping action sequence after another, fueled by stunning special effects and gorgeous cinematography. These set pieces where the cars explode into tiny bits as they smash through multiple glass buildings and race away from helicopters, missiles and drones are superbly choreographed. What’s more, they are clearly the brainchild of an adult who never grew up, who played the latest Need for Speed or Burnout game and wondered why films couldn’t feature such ‘carmageddon’.

Sadly, the film’s narrative is more absurd than the action. Unlike the last two F&F films, the storytelling here is completely bird-brained, leaving this topping-heavy pizza of a film with barely a crust to support it.


Its fast, it’s furious … but it’s also full of potholes and plot holes


The story continues the adventures of Dominic Toretto (Vin Diesel) and Brian O’Conner (Paul Walker) as leaders of a gang of glorified car thieves that includes Letty Ortiz (Michelle Rodriguez), Tej Parker (Chris ‘Ludacris’ Bridges), and the funny Roman Pearce (Tyrese Gibson). They are supported by law enforcement agent Luke Hobbs (Dwayne ‘The Rock’ Johnson), who connects the gang with mysterious military man Frank Petty (Kurt Russell).

After our heroes come under attack by the dangerous and vengeful Deckard Shaw (Jason Statham), they are offered a deal by Frank Petty where they must pull a heist to secure a tracking device codenamed God’s Eye, in return for aid against Shaw. Here, our heroes travel to exotic locations with gorgeous cars and women who only wear swimsuits, where they find Shaw targeting them at every step.

While some suspension of disbelief in these films is to be expected, F&F7 runs over your brain like bad road kill. For example, Dom’s clever plan after rescuing a hostage is to put her life at risk by simply driving off of a steep cliff and hoping for the best. Meanwhile, internationally wanted terrorists are able to sneak into the USA and wreak havoc through military grade helicopters and sophisticated drones that are armed to the teeth. How did they sneak this technology through customs?

After the mayhem ends, the last 15 minutes of F&F7 are a surprisingly touching tribute to the late Paul Walker (Brian O’Conner), who tragically died in a car crash. Some of his uncompleted scenes were shot using clever camera angles with his brother functioning as a substitute.  

The final segment is surprising in that the film doesn’t disrespect the actor’s legacy by connecting his death to the film’s storyline in a manner that would insult the audience’s intelligence; we all understand that the sorrowful tribute from the film’s characters is not for Brian O’Conner, but for Paul Walker the actor. It is a rare segment in the history of cinema where a film breaks character, and makes for a wonderfully authentic moment in an otherwise formulaic film.

Rated PG-13 for prolonged frenetic sequences of violence, action and mayhem, suggestive content and brief strong language

Published in Dawn, Sunday Magazine, April 12th, 2015

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