KNOWLEDGE, confidence and caution is an unbeatable combination that every person should equip themselves with. They are the most empowering tools you need to face anything that may come — by anything I mean both good and bad things.

While good things are always welcomed, it’s the bad ones that one needs to identify, know how it can affect us and how to handle them.

Every day we find ourselves in situations that may spell trouble or be outright harmful. We need to have knowledge of such situations and people, and being cautious, but confident, is the best approach to handle and escape such situations.

Being cautious isn’t only about looking after yourself, but also about keeping yourself away from others’ carelessness or cruelty. There are always bullies in school and the neighbourhood who like to dominate and sometimes torment other kids for no reason. Be cautious around them and avoid them. Always show them your confident side, that you are not scared and can take care of yourself. That will discourage them from bulling you because bullies like to feel powerful by seeing the fear in others. In addition, you must tell about anyone bullying or troubling you to an adult, be it your parents or teachers, because they can protect you.

It is best to play with people your age than those much older because you can be pushed around by them, both verbally and physically. Plus a lot of things they do are those that you are too young for, such as going to play a cricket/football match in a playground at a distance from your home. You may not have your parents’ permission for that and something unwanted can happen there.

Then there is another kind of problem that everyone faces while growing up and adults too go through it — peer pressure. It’s the pressure we feel to do something just because our friends or others are doing it. It can be to change our attitude, values or behaviour to conform to others, and while sometimes it can be something as harmless as getting the Mohawk hairstyle that every boy seems to be spotting or something with a much more serious consequence such as smoking, or driving the car while underage and without a licence.

First empower yourself with the knowledge of the consequence of things. Is something harmful? Do your parents allow it? Is it really that important that you need to adopt it even if it’s not how you generally behave? Will you have to hide it from your family and will you be ashamed if they find out?

If the answers to these questions tell you that you should not be doing it, then stop right there. Talk yourself out of it. Discuss it with your parents or elder siblings or anyone whom you trust and who has your best interest at heart. Tell those who are pressuring you that you don’t want any part of it, even at the risk of losing a friend or being shunned by the group of the coolest guys in your school or social circle. If someone is not ready to respect your choice, you are better off without them.

You may be laughed at for being a sissy, but it is better than being in trouble or harmed. You must also remember that not everything that becomes a fad is really something to be followed. Following a trend that everyone else follows is not as cool as doing your own thing and having your own style that suits you.

We all know that we have to be careful with strangers. We should not talk to them, disclose personal information, be alone or go anywhere with them. But it is impossible to not come across strangers in everyday life. You don’t have to be scared and run the moment a stranger comes within a few feet. Learn to trust your instincts because God has given us very sharp instinct of self-preservation that warns us when we are in danger. If you are uncomfortable near a stranger, move away. If someone asks you where you live or says anything and your sixth sense is telling you that you don’t like him, just say that you don’t know and leave, go to a place where there are other people.

If a stranger actually tries to touch you, don’t wait to see what he does next before reacting — you may feel self-conscious about creating a scene but a scene needs to be created to draw attention to what is being done to you. Shout, scream, fight, push, bite and do anything in your power to get away or frighten the person into leaving you alone.

You shouldn’t feel scared or ashamed of what is happening because it’s the other person who was behaving in the wrong manner and who needs to be ashamed.

The scene we have just discussed can involve not just strangers but also people we know — and trust. Although this shouldn’t be, but many children, and adults too, find people they know, - such as friends, family, acquaintances, teachers, neighbours, domestic help and so many others — behave in ways that they shouldn’t with them. Behaviours that should warn you that something is not right are usually those that someone doesn’t repeat when anyone else is around, or when they tell you not to tell others about it.

Why shouldn’t you tell? If you shouldn’t tell anyone, then it is something that should not happen and the first thing you should do is tell someone!

Always remember that you are in command of yourself, you are your own master, no one — I repeat no one — should make you do something you don’t like, such as touching you where others shouldn’t touch, or be a part of something that is not right and should be a secret kept from everyone.

There are good and bad touches and there are good and bad secrets. Your mum’s tight hug is the most loving touch you can feel, but when someone hugs or touches you only when you are alone with them, then that is not a good touch. And it is a bad secret to keep. Tell your parents at once.

Good secrets can be a surprise birthday party for someone, or a gift that is bought and kept as a surprise to be given on a certain day. These are to be kept.

And other thing we should be careful about is accepting things to eat and drink from just anyone, and accepting gifts for no reasons and which, again, we are asked to keep as a secret. Whenever someone gives you a gift – it can be a pencil your classmate gave, a cold drink someone buys you, money or even chocolates and candies – always tell your parents. If that thing costs a lot of money, refuse to accept it and immediately tell your parents.

Firstly, it lets parents know what others have been doing for you, and their approval and disapproval will tell you if you should be accepting such gifts and from such a person. And often we need to give something back to those who have given us something, like if your friend keeps giving you chips during lunchtime in school, then you also need to share your lunch with him. Or your parents will get you something to give to that person in return.

There is nothing like a free gift, every giver expects something back – from a simple ‘Thank you’ to getting you to do what they want. Make sure you are not being asked in return for something you are not happy about. Discuss the situation with an adult you trust and they will guide and protect you.

You shouldn’t accept edibles from everyone because, for one, it may not be hygienic for you to have, or it may just contain something harmful, even addictive, that should be avoided by all means.

When something bad does happen to you, you don’t have to feel ashamed and scared. Don’t ever believe that you are responsible for it. No, the person who was bad to you is solely responsible. And that person is the one who needs to be ashamed.

Once again it is urged that you must report anything unusual that happens with you and never ever keep anything a secret from mum, no matter how strict she may be. It is an adult’s duty to safeguard children and they will.