FRIENDS are those special people in our lives whom we trust and love unconditionally and who are there for us no matter what. Yes, this is the ideal definition of friendship but this kind of an ideal relationship is not shared with all the people who are in our friends’ list.

Just like there are many kinds of people in this world, there are different kinds of friends and friendships. All have their various characteristics and purpose, and each one of them fulfils a different kind of friendship need for us. Some we may meet very often and enjoy being with but they may not be as important to us a friend we may seldom meet but love much more.

We too offer different kinds of friendships to each person that we call a friend. We may be ready to do anything for one friend while we make an excuse when another friend says they want to drop in for a chat. So are these different kinds of friends really our friends and is it right to call all these levels of interactions friendships?

Most definitely yes on both counts. At different stages of life we need different kinds of people to suit our different needs and moods, but they are all very special people who make us whole, with each having a unique place in our lives.

Let us celebrate all these various shades of friendships with a look at the many kinds of friends there may be.

And the best part is that we don’t have to pretend in front of them and can be our own real selves — and they will still be by our side!

The new friend: New friends pop up in our lives more often than any other kind because we keep meeting new people and forming new bonds. Once the friendship progresses, they are slotted into a different category of friends and someone else takes their place.

We both find each other interesting and like listening to each other’s stories without getting bored — until the friendship grows old and we’ve heard all their jokes and no longer find them amusing. Many a times one of we may offend the other and that’s the end of the story.

But an advantage of new friends is that we can be who we like with them as they don’t know us and so don’t expect us to be a certain way like our old friends.

The bossy friend: They think they know what we need to do with our lives and how we should get there. They like to command and control, but all the while making us feel they are doing us a favour this way. They don’t like taking “No” for an answer but they like taking anything they like from us.

We let ourselves get totally under their spell and never dare to go against their wishes. If something goes wrong, we are to blame not them. This goes on until one fine day we realise we have a spine and need to stand up for ourselves. They may accept our newfound confidence, albeit reluctantly, if they genuinely care about us otherwise they will tell us that we don’t deserve their friendship and care.

The wild friend: This is a friend we should have in our lives at one time or the other, especially if one is shy and an introvert. This is a friend whose wild and unpredictable behaviour never ceases to surprise and often entertains.

They will be totally disliked by our parents as they might be doing things we shouldn’t be doing. If one is too serious and thinks of himself as boring, spend some time with such people to loosen up but they can be a very bad choice as best friends for life.

The bus or tuition friend: We meet them almost every day on the school bus or at the tuition classes. We spend a good time sharing jokes and many everyday things that our other friends don’t get to know as they don’t see us as often. The bond here is formed out of sharing similar experiences everyday and enjoying each other’s company, but we won’t share our secrets with them or our lunch.

The listening friend: If one has this kind of a friend, then they are the luckiest person on earth and should never let this friendship end. This friend listens, yes actually listens, to us without interrupting with a story of their own. Isn’t this what everyone wants — to talk and have someone to actually listen to what we say?

But because very little come out from the other side, we remain unaware of that they are actually thinking and what is going on in their lives. This may get kind of a one-way thing if we don’t make the effort to let ourselves be their friend once in a while and let them do the talking.

The big mouth friend: This is the opposite of the listening friend and thus less desirable of the two, though the more common one. Here the roles are reversed; they talk while we listen, even when we don’t have the natural qualities of a listener.

No wonder sometimes when they are talking, they realise too late that their friends have quietly walked away and they are talking to the air around them!

The borrowing buddy: A very annoying person whom we have stopped considering a friend long ago but they never get the message and still keep asking us for anything and everything, at any time!

And they generally have the special quality of forgetting to return what they have borrowed or take care of it while it is in their possession. They appear when they are in need and disappear when the need is fulfilled.

The magnet friend: This one goes where we go. Always by our side. And we by their side. And even when we don’t want them there, like we have just enough money to get ourselves a cold drink from the school canteen but their presence means we have to share it with them. Or when we don’t want anyone to hear us being scolded by the teacher but they know because they were always there.

It can be the other way round, like we just have to go wherever they go, even to the nearby shops each time their mother sends them on an errant.

The suspicious friend: No explanation from us is good enough for him. He keeps questioning us because he always thinks we are hiding something. We can never satisfy this person and they seem to have this amazing sense of superiority to think that everyone is always talking about him. So each time he sees us spending some time with others, his suspicion always leads him to think some conspiracy is cooking up about him.

The confidant friend: This is one person who many people like to confide in and he knows the art of getting information out of people when they don’t confide willingly. He just seems to know everything about us, if not everyone, and is the person to go to for gossip. Yes, such people like to tell all they know to anyone interested.

We learn this a little late, after everyone knows the secrets we have shared with our confidant friend.

The banker: This one always seems to have money to splurge at the school canteen and is also ready to share it with anyone who tags along. Anytime we are in need of some cash, he is the person to turn to, and he never turns us down or wants the money back.

The miser: The opposite of the banker, the miser doesn’t care about losing friends as long as he doesn’t lose some money. So never make the mistake of asking him for money or anything, as he will disappear even before we finish our request.

Counselling friend: We get lots of advice from him for free, whether you want it or not. He may actually mean well for us but putting up with his expert advice isn’t what we can put up with all the time. But give him a chance, this kind of a friend usually means well.

The noisy friend: Anything this guy does — talking, laughing, walking and even eating — is always loud enough for the whole neighbourhood to hear. He is a pain to have in our house or outside. It’s only after he leaves that we breathe a sigh of relief. No wonder whenever we talk in the class, the teacher always gets to hear him and punish both of us.

The forever friend: This is someone we have known longer than we can remember. In fact we don’t even know how and why we two became friends. We know a lot about each other but may actually have some other people that we call your best friends. This is a comfortable friendship that requires no frequent pledges of loyalty or love, and when there is no one else around to share our joy or frustration, this friend just happens to be there. Cherish him forever.