Story time: Stage phobia

Published October 31, 2015

By Ahmed Abdullah

“ASAD if you make a mistake in your speech, Osama will certainly win, and Osama if you make a mistake in yours, then Asad gets the lead. So there is a very tough competition between the two of you and a little mistake can be very expensive for any of you,” Uzair explained, but we were already aware of it.

“As I will be in Sri Lanka for the scrabble competition, I will not be there on the day of the speech. So best of luck to you both and let the most deserving win,” Uzair added.

“You can go to the principal and request her to let you and your brother vote before you both leave for Sri Lanka,” Osama requested his friend.

I already knew that he would be given the chance to vote before he leaves for Sri Lanka after three days. I was sure that he would vote for me because I was his classmate and a dearer friend than Osama.

It was recess and the three of us were strolling in the school’s main ground talking about the upcoming speeches for the election of the students’ council for the current session. Osama and I were candidates for the post of Deputy Head Boy.

After Uzair left us, Osama asked me if I had prepared my speech. I replied affirmatively. Then he told me that he still had to prepare his speech. I silently congratulated myself that everything was going in my favour and it was all due to my hard work and determination. The bell rang to notify that the recess was over.

I reached my class and saw Uzair already sitting in the class. I went to him and he told me that the principal called him to vote and he voted for me as the Deputy Head Boy and another boy of my class for the post of the Head Boy. I was exhilarated.

I spent days and nights practising my speech: speaking in front of the mirror, talking aloud to myself and memorising it like a parrot. The night before the day of the speech, I had insomnia. The entire night was spent thinking about the speech; how I would start it and then show my enthusiasm for this responsibility and conclude the speech confidently.

But I had a premonition of something bad happening – not being able to speak in front of the audience. As this thought came to mind, I began to worry. But I immediately dismissed it, considering it a useless interruption which could topple me.

On the day of the elections as I reached the school, my juniors greeted me.

“Friends, we are getting a treat from Asad bhai,” one of them said in an excited tone. “Hope you will win Asad bhai.”

When the bell rang, I followed others to the assembly area where I joined my friends to stand in a line. After the National Anthem and the school song, our principal announced it was time for the speeches to be made by the candidates for the election of the students’ council.

All the candidates stood in a queue. The candidates for the position of Head Boy first gave their speeches, some made everyone laugh, others were inspiring. My heart beat became faster and it felt as if a big stone had gotten stuck in my throat and I wasn’t able to speak when I reached the stage. I ascended the stage and grabbed the mike. When I lifted my head, I could see all the students staring at me. I started the speech with my introduction. The mike appeared like a spider’s web and it seemed as if a spider may come out any time.

“Assalam-o-alaikum, my name is Asad Abdullah and I am from Grade 11 and taking part in the election for the post of Deputy Head Boy. Over the last three years that I have spent at this school, I have come to understand many things, including responsibilities, hard work ….” there was a long pause. I tried to repeat the opening words from my speech in my mind as swiftly as I could, but it did not work.

I looked up at the audience and my fear grew. What was the word next after hard work? Did I still have the chance to restart? How did I forget it? Do I continue the remaining speech skipping that word which I had forgotten? Had I lost my chance? What will the people say if I fail to complete my speech?

These thoughts paralysed my mind. I thought of starting the speech again. As I was about to say the first word, the audience erupted into laughter. I felt I was about to faint any second. As I was lost in these thoughts, the principal, who was standing nearby, said, “Gentleman, at least ask for votes.”

I was dumbfounded. Should I end the speech absurdly, restart it or just ask for a vote, or say ‘Thank you’ and leave the stage. I tried to find my friends in the crowd in front of me but they seemed to be lost. At last with despair reflecting in my tone, I thanked the crowd for wasting their time in listening my brief speech and descended the stage through the same stairs. The crowd gave a humorous applause and the principal made the same remarks again, “You should have at least asked for votes.”

As I joined my class everyone stared at me as if I have committed a crime.

“Asad where did you get lost?” asked a friend.

“Your speech was the best, you deserve a Nobel Prize,” one of my class mate taunted me and others laughed at it.

Whatever happened was because of my inability to realise that I did not have the confidence for public speaking. I was overconfident and I had underestimated Osama. And this happened also because I did not remember Allah at any stage of my accomplishments and did not thank Him for all the achievements that He gave me. Rather I overjoyed at my limitless triumphs and considered them the result of my own hard work which was not the case.

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