Danish Kaneria still dreams of wearing the Pakistan jersey again.

He visualises himself running in to bowl from over the wicket with two slips and a silly point in place. But just as the thought brings a smile on his face, the 35-year-old snaps back to reality.

The ostracised legspinner cannot afford to dream for too long. The world he feels is ‘against him’.

Salman Butt and Mohammad Asif are back, putting in impressive performances on the domestic circuit and Mohammad Amir has already begun a new chapter in his international career. The three convicted players have all returned to competitive cricket after serving their five-year spot-fixing bans.

Yet for Kaneria, who was banned for life in 2012 for “prompting a fellow cricketer” into fixing, there has been absolutely no positive to fall back on.

But the once bubbly bowler doesn’t let those fears overcome his faith of returning to the cricketing fold as a clean man.

“I have faith in bhagwan that I will stand vindicated and this hostility against me will soon be over,” the Karachi-born leggie tells Dawn.

Kaneria, who is Pakistan’s leading spinner in Tests, was accused of being involved in a spot-fixing scandal during England’s domestic Pro40 match in 2009.

According to Kaneria, his involvement is yet to be proven in a court of law, but the Pakistan Cricket Board (PCB) and the England and Wales Cricket Board (ECB) have maintained their life ban on him.

Kaneria was accused for “prompting” Essex teammate Mervyn Westfield into spot-fixing.

“It was Westfield’s testimony alone that pushed the England board into banning me for life,” says Kaneria.

“There was no proof, nothing. Had there been any evidence, the Essex Police wouldn’t have let me go clean.”

Westfield, for conceding a planned number of runs in a Pro40 match against Durham in September 2009, received £6,000 and after being proven guilty, he was handed over a five-year ban from professional and a three-year ban from club cricket.

But it was Westfield’s testimony that Kaneria lured him into spot-fixing which saw the Pakistani leg-spinner being banned for life in July 2012.

“I have full faith in England’s judicial system, but it’s because of the English board’s discriminating attitude towards me, that I am suffering a life ban from all forms of cricket,” adds Kaneria, the only Hindu after Anil Dalpat to represent Pakistan.

“The ECB hasn’t treated me fairly. They just don’t want to accept the fact that spot-fixing is very much a custom in English counties. By putting a life ban on me, they’ve turned me into a scapegoat.”

When the verdict by the England board was delivered, Kaneria was a PCB contracted player.

“Being a central contract signatory, I contacted the board to help me out. But I was told that it was my personal matter and I had to deal with it on my own. It was disappointing to receive such a response.”

With not many options at hand, the legspinner decided to go to the Sindh High Court and filed a petition against the PCB in July 2011 seeking justice.

“I’ve faced an investigation in England, and the police there didn’t find any evidence against me. I don’t see any reason for the life ban on me,” he says.

After the Sindh High Court petition, the Pakistan board sent Kaneria’s case to its integrity committee where he was asked to provide “all clearance letters provided by the Essex County and the police” to be eligible for national selection again.

Despite providing “all details of communication, a clearance letter and account details”, Kaneria feels the board has been purposely irresponsible in his case.

“What else do they want?” he says.

For Kaneria, it is unfair on part of the Pakistan board to support the “convicted spot-fixing trio of Amir, Asif and Butt”, while giving him the rough end of the stick.

“The PCB wants me to show remorse; what for?”

“If the England and Pakistan boards have any evidence against me, why don’t they make it public?”

The legspinner, who represented Pakistan in 61 Tests and has claimed 261 wickets, wants to clean his name and play for Pakistan once again.

“I just want to clear my name. I’ve always defended my country. I did not sell Pakistan. I can’t even think of defaming Pakistan,” he says.

Kaneria on the spot-fixing trio’s return to cricket