Rayna was only eight years old when it happened. As the car stopped outside the tuition centre, she noticed the family driver didn’t leave to fetch her siblings. After waiting for five minutes, she leaned over from the back seat, and innocently asked him, “Why aren’t you going to get them?” And that was when he attacked.
For the 55-year-old chauffeur sexually assaulting a mere child held no consequence; as Rayna helplessly squirmed in his grasp, he only laughed, even more so when she spat on his face and called him a “ganda aadmi” (dirty man).
Cruel Numbers, a report published in March 2016 by Sahil ... claims that an average of 10 children are sexually abused daily, and asserts that cases have increased by a staggering 7pc in the past year.
Like most sexual assault survivors, Rayna stayed silent for years, attributing the blame of the act entirely to herself. Why would someone do this to her? she asked. As she ended her story on this note, I had nothing to say. Emotionally shaken, I wondered aloud: is sexual abuse so prevalent in our society?
Unfortunately, the answer is yes. Dr Sikandar Sohani, senior manager training at Aahung, an NGO that works on empowering children against abuse, states: “It is estimated that between 15-20 per cent of girls and boys from all socioeconomic groups in Pakistan are exposed to sexual harassment and abuse before they turn 18.”
Although no official data on child molestation is prevalent, 17pc of 300 children polled in Rawalpindi and Islamabad reported being sexually abused — one in five boys, and one in seven girls — in 2015.
Cruel Numbers, a report published in March 2016 by Sahil, an NGO advocating against child sexual abuse, concluded from data analysed from the last five years that there has been a consistent increase in abuse. The report further claims that an average of 10 children are sexually abused daily, and asserts that cases have increased by a staggering 7pc in the past year.
While it is easy to collect data on the frequency of child molestation in Pakistani society, the far-reaching, crippling impact of sexual abuse on individuals, their families, and society itself, can’t be easily measured, nor can it be ignored.
WHAT THE RECORD SAYS
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• Out of the 5,483 abusers
• 1,943 are people the child was acquainted with
Amir Habib Khattak, Sahil’s programme officer for counselling, repeatedly stresses feelings of helplessness and self-loathing which arise in the victim. “The child sees an adult as their caretaker, someone they can trust,” he says. “Out of the 5,483 abusers in our records, 1,943 are people the child was acquainted with. Once the child is victimised by them, the healthy bond between the child and adult is completely shattered.”
“It is important to first understand that sexual abuse covers a very wide spectrum which ranges from being exposed to things of sexual nature to physical molestation at a young age"
Ayesha Chundrigar, Psychotherapist
“It is important to first understand that sexual abuse covers a very wide spectrum which ranges from being exposed to things of sexual nature to physical molestation at a young age. Several people think that these things are ‘common’ or ‘normal’ in society, but they can have life-altering effects on the child that translate into self-destructive adult behaviour,” says Ayesha Chundrigar, a licensed psychotherapist who has had experience working with children and victims of sexual abuse.
Victims blaming themselves for what happened and being ashamed of it is very common, points out Chundrigar. She further adds that the trauma can follow children into adulthood, and can prevent them from building healthy relationships and leading a ‘normal’ life.
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