Mathew Vaughan is a British charity worker and writer, born in Woking, England, but living in Rawalpindi and Islamabad since 2011. He is married to Andrea, a Canadian who grew up in Pakistan, and they have four children, three of whom were born here. He recently penned his experiences in Pakistan and published his first book Notes from a Sacred Land: Tales of Hope from Pakistan. Dawn caught up with him in Rawalpindi and asked him about his experience in Pakistan.

Q: Your first book is about Tales of Hope; what motivated you to write it?

A: The inspiration behind the book was a feeling that Pakistan is a much more beautiful country than people think. Its reputation is terrible - but even after a few days, my wife and I found it a magical place. People are constantly kind to us.

Taxis refuse our money because we are mehmaan, people shake our hands, people buy us chai and want to chat. It is very humbling and very beautiful. Very few people in the West have this image of Pakistan, so I wanted to show the positive side of Pakistan that people never see.

Q: It’s been said that Pakistan is a ‘hard country’; what has your experience been like so far?

A: Pakistan is in some ways a hard country. The heat, the poverty, the loadshedding, the occasional outbreaks of violence. But my point is that the books on Pakistan only focus on these negative aspects of life. Very few books feature the positive side of life here: the hospitality, the love shown by Muslim people to Christian guests, the natural beauty of Pakistan. So I hope that my experience of life here is more balanced. We see the hard parts of life but also the gentle, beautiful parts and I hope I can honour Pakistan by featuring those parts of life in my book.

Q: How did you go about learning Urdu and adapting to desi culture?

A: My wife and I felt that learning Urdu and wearing shalwar kameez would be a good way to show that we respect and honour Pakistani culture. You have a saying: ‘jaisa des, waisa bhes’ – well, if this is how Pakistani people live then we want to live like that too. This part of the world has produced incredible culture and beauty; of course we would want to be a part of that! We love Pakistani food too. Every day our children eat daal and rice for lunch and never want to eat anything else.

Q: What were your best and the worst experiences so far in Pakistan?

A: Best experience so far: seeing the beauty of the Kaghan Valley and the kindness of people there. Drinking chai in a hotel in Battakundi, near Naran, and chatting to the owner about the beauty of Pakistan. Worst experience: witnessing the agony caused by the APS massacre in Peshawar. I still cannot imagine the pain caused to the children and their parents. It was agonising. May God prevent such a terrible thing from happening again.

Q: You mostly wrote stories of simple Pakistanis – how do you see Pakistanis as a nation among all the domestic and terror-related issues?

A: Pakistani people, in our opinion, are just like people anywhere else. They long to see peace, to raise their children in safety, to enjoy good health, to love God, and to spend time with friends. These issues of terrorism and international relations do not change the fact that people are just ordinary people, like in any country around the world. People around the world read about big issues like terrorism but they do not read about the simple kindness and generosity of ordinary Pakistani people. These so-called ordinary people are worthy of their respect and admiration.

Q: Your children were born in Pakistan - what is it like bringing up your kids in Pakistan?

A: People in Pakistan love kids! It has been great raising children here, although sometimes I wish that people would not take photos of our children in parks! This is a really bad thing in the West and it has been hard to get used to it. But overall it has been wonderful. In the West we have become so individual and so focused on money and careers that we forget the beauty of family life. Our first daughter says that she is half Canadian, half British and half Pakistani!

Published in Dawn, September 7th, 2017