Naira was enrolled in a prestigious Montessori, while she worked as a lecturer at University of Education, in Lahore. “I noticed that my daughter had started to behave strangely,” says Naira’s mother, Fatima. “At four years of age, she could only talk in monosyllables or [string] an occasional sentence or two and it seemed as though she wasn’t learning anything.” Fatima took her four-year-old to a speech therapist who told her that there was nothing wrong with her daughter, except that she was socially awkward — this shyness, however, could push her to autism if not taken care of. “I also realised that the expensive Montessori I sent my daughter to relied heavily on electronic gadgets and not enough human interaction. I also observed that she was being bullied [at school] and hence I decided to leave my job to homeschool her,” says Fatima.

Homeschooling is a relatively progressive notion based on the idea that parents can offer their children a stronger education at home, under their own supervision, rather than sending them off to schools. The idea of homeschooling commenced in the 1970s with educationists like John Holt and Raymond Moore who introduced the concept that parents are primarily responsible for the education of their children and no one else can do a better job. This movement started in the United States but because of its affordability and convenience both to the parents and children gained in popularity elsewhere too.

“Parents are conscious about the well-being of their kids,” says Tahir Alvi, a single parent who homeschools his kids as he has flexible timings for work. Who can be more concerned about harassment or bullying of their kids at school? No matter how prestigious, a school may not necessarily fulfill the needs of all the children. “My son is four and I worry about his education and upbringing,” he adds.

Does homeschooling provide an impetus or is it an impediment to your child’s learning ability?

Alvi is among hundreds of parents who do not wish to raise their children in uncomfortable surroundings and environment. Homeschooling does not only appeal to single parents but parents and guardians who notice some unwarranted behaviour pattern in their offspring also prefer to teach their children at home.

“Parents should realise that children cannot be brought up by machines or gadgets,” says Dr Naseem Tariq, an Islamabad-based psychologist. “Children require human touch, feelings and tenderness that can only be given by parents. No paid help or teacher can be singularly as compassionate as parents can be for their kids,” adds the psychologist.

A homeschooling-parent community in Islamabad has diversified the concept. “Since the idea is to build social expertise and weave interactive skills in children,” says Fatima-tuz-Zahra, a community member, “a group of about five to six parents have come together to develop an infrastructure and basic amenities for a school. We have hired a teacher who comes in 9-to-5 and works under the supervision of at least one member.”

Initially, the concept of homeschooling was restricted to the the more privileged but over time, even the middle class has shown an interest in homeschooling. As educationists such as Horace Mann and John Dewey advocated the decentralisation of education and lesser government control in syllabus and course formulation, they published a report postulating that traditional schooling thwarted physical, emotional, spiritual, mental and academic growth of the children. Instead of relying upon educationists, they argue, parents should take the initiative to cater to the educational needs of their kids.

Based on the 20th century doctrine, the concept is still relatively new in Pakistan where parents are ambitious and competition is cut-throat. “Parents need to understand their children. Going to school may offer social exposure or positive academic growth to kids but a lot more is hampered than offered,” says Tahira Effendi, a writer and homeschooling mother. “I want my children to be voracious readers and not crammers. I don’t want them to indulge in the rat race of materialism that the elite schools unknowingly impart in their students.” Effendi has two kids aged six and seven whom she will homeschool until they reach matriculation. “It is easy to maintain discipline as I am a full-time homemaker,” says the writer. “The kids choose their own syllabus and the only thing that I insist on is reading and writing.”

“Sometimes in school, children are bullied to a level of harassment,” says Shazia Amber, a former schoolteacher. “Parents do not know what their kids go through. Peer pressure leads to anxiety issues as well as Attention Deficit Disorder [ADD].” She believes that homeschooling establishes a strong parent-child bond.

“Sometimes in school, children are bullied to a level of harassment,” says Shazia Amber, a former schoolteacher. “Parents do not know what their kids go through. Peer pressure leads to anxiety issues as well as Attention Deficit Disorder [ADD].” She believes that homeschooling establishes a strong parent-child bond: “When parents become teachers they become role models and mentors; their kids look up to them for security and learning and this definitely enhances their obligations manifold.”

Najma Syed, a mother of four daughters, returned from England two years ago. “They are growing up here but I cannot trust any school for their formal education,” she says. “I have taken on this onerous responsibility of homeschooling upon myself. I work hard on their syllabus and academics but more than that my hardest task is to become their role model.”

Though a number of parents have withdrawn their children from schools or have not started their formal schooling as yet as they prefer their children to be tutored at home, there are others who doubt the concept of home schooling altogether. “I don’t understand how discipline can be maintained at home and how we can provide an interaction with other children at home,” says Zahra Ayesha, a teacher and a mother of a five-year-old. “My concern is how will they mingle with other kids? They may lack social skills or become socially awkward or introverts at home. Parents are not experts and cannot do for their children what a good school [environment] and a trained teacher can.”

“Parents who feel that they are not good at teaching or are short-tempered can always hire the services of tutors who are willing to come home and teach, especially for certain subjects like maths, chemistry or physics, suggests Fatima-tuz-Zahra.

The homeschooling-parent community organises events for the members’ children so they can be exposed to other people and children. “We try and provide exposure and try to prevent unchecked or unrestrained liberty,” she explains.

“One also has to consider the affordability of homeschooling,” says Hamid Tareen, a software engineer, who works from home. “My kids were in expensive elite schools and it was not only a financial constraint but I also noticed sluggish growth of their minds. It may work for some people but I have a different idea of education for my children.” As he has time to spare from work, Tareen decided to coach his children at home. “My wife also joined in. We organised a schedule for them and made sure that it gets implemented. Our homeschooling experiment may not go too far but I want to strengthen [our children’s] foundations so that they can do anything in this world with their knowledge and an empowered mind.”

Many parents worry about the academic growth of their homeschooled children but Fatima-tuz-Zahra shrugs off these apprehensions as baseless. “The homeschooled children that I have come across excel academically. Last year, Natasha Zarmeen, a homeschooled girl passed her matriculation exam with flying colours and this year another homeschooled boy, Asim Nazeer, cleared his entrance test to medical school. Hard work, dedication, motivation and determination of both children and parents are required. Homeschooling imparts much more to children than formal education, in terms of the real stuff that they need to live their lives.”

In 1980, Holt observed that home is the only place to explore education or learning. It does not matter whether schools are good or bad; what matters is the warmth of home and the affection a mother has that cannot be found elsewhere. He maintained that the strong bond between parents and children can go the extra mile of contributing towards making good human beings out of our children.

The writer is an associate professor of English and a freelance writer

Published in Dawn, EOS, December 10th, 2017