Today, I went to a hospital to see my aunt who was suffering from the last stage of cancer. My aunt is around 60 years. But she was lively, gullible and cherished every moment of her life. And knowing that she was suffering from such a devilish disease was a nightmare to all of us.

I never liked to visit hospitals, because it always made me depressed. I never wanted to see people suffering, but I really wanted to see my dear aunt so I couldn’t stop myself and went with my mother to the hospital.

We walked through the corridors of the hospital, where at one corner, I saw a lady whose eyes were filled with tears. Maybe she lost someone or maybe she was suffering from something unbearable, whatever the reason, it was enough to bring her to tears.

As we entered the ward, where my aunt was admitted, I saw her lying on the bed at a distance with her eyes wide open. I got goose bumps on my whole body and that reaction wasn’t because I’ve never seen anyone in this condition before, but because it reminded me of my grandma who died of cancer too. I was about 11 years old at that time.

I am 19 now, and every memory of my grandma still lingers in my mind. Today, I felt like all the events related to my grandma revisited me in the form of my aunt. I suddenly started missing my grandmother and wanted to hug my aunt and tell her that how much we love her and want her in our life. I suddenly wanted to say everything to her that I never had the chance to convey to my grandmother.

I was in tears, I tried to fake a smile by looking away and controlled my emotions but the whole time we were there, I was just staring into her eyes. Those eyes clearly showed that the soul was tired, wanted the suffering to stop or live a fresh life again.

We stayed there for about 20 minutes. Before leaving I said goodbye to her and told her that I want her to get well and get back home soon so that I can have a warm cup of tea with her. She passed a smiled and stared into my eyes, it was the most difficult situation I’ve ever dealt with in these 19 years of my life. It was almost as if I was looking in my grandmother’s eyes again, the eyes that have seen a lot and suffered a lot more.

Just when we were coming out from the ward, I saw a nurse carrying a newborn baby wrapped in warm clothes. The baby opened her eyes and yawned. It was the most beautiful moment of the day; I just witnessed two different stages of life — the one that was behind me, fighting for life and the one in front of me — at the very beginning of a long journey of life. The eyes that I saw earlier were full of pain and the eyes in front of me were full of life.

And there in the middle, it was me, a person with an uncertain future. I felt as if life was teaching me its most important lesson, that we all have to go from this world one day — a fact that nobody can change! So why do we waste the moments we’re blessed with? The baby was in the hands of an unknown lady (nurse) and yet the baby was so comfortable. On the other hand, my aunt despite all the pain, still wanted to stay in this world.

Then what is wrong with us? Why do we get tired and dejected by small mishaps in our lives and think we are the most miserable creatures in this world. Why do we always fill ourselves with negativity and ignore all the positive things that God has blessed us with?

All these questions made me realise that life is precious but we take it for granted. We never feel its importance until we fall ill. It is then that we really want to get back to our normal healthy and active life.

Today, I am feeling different. I don’t want to be a prisoner of my past but want to be a sailor in a boat of life that carries the weight of realities rather than the assumptions of what is about to come and the sorrows of what has already happened.

The hospital I always hated taught me the most important lessons of life. It was to live each moment, stay happy with whatever you have and not waste a single moment feeling sad about something you don’t have or to fight over trivial matters.

Published in Dawn, Young World, June 30th, 2018