How to approach an office romance: very carefully

Lots of people meet their spouse or partner at work, but dating a co-worker can get complicated fast. Before moving forward with an office romance, think through the risks. There’s a chance the relationship won’t work out, of course, which could make things awkward at the office. Some companies prohibit employees from dating at all, or require disclosures, so be sure to investigate the policies at yours. It’s best not to date a manager or subordinate, as conflicts of interest will undoubtedly arise. And it’s a good idea to consider how the relationship may look to colleagues, especially if you and your romantic interest are at different levels in the organisation. Even if you’re at the same level, think about whether the relationship could affect your reputation — if you make decisions about the person’s work, for example. After weighing the risks, if you decide to pursue the relationship, set some boundaries. Have a conversation about when and how you two will talk about work and about your personal lives.

(Adapted from “How to Approach an Office Romance (and How Not To)” by Amy Gallo.)

Make your office a safe space to talk about mental health

When your employees are struggling with mental health, they should be able to open up and ask for help. Think about how you can create a work environment that makes them feel safe enough to do so. For example, pay attention to the language you and your team use in the office. Comments like “OCD is at it again” or “She is being so bipolar this week” stigmatise issues that employees could be struggling with, and make it harder for people to come forward. If you hear employees using that kind of language, discourage them from continuing, and, if necessary, explain why it’s hurtful. You can also set the tone by sharing your experiences with mental health and making yourself available to team members in need. When someone confides in you, be ready to tell them

about the mental health resources your company has. One simple resource to offer is sick days: if an employee needs a day off to focus on their mental health, tell them to take it.

(Adapted from “5 Ways Bosses Can Reduce the Stigma of Mental Health at Work” by Diana O’Brien and Jen Fisher.)

For a team to work smoothly, you need three things

If your colleagues aren’t working well together, there are a few ways to change the team dynamic. Everyone, including you, should consider how they can improve three things: internal self-awareness, external self-awareness and personal accountability.

Internal self-awareness is about understanding how your values affect your decisions. To improve, consider how your emotions and assumptions in a situation lead you to act a certain way. Resist the urge to act until you understand what’s driving you.

External self-awareness is about understanding how your actions affect other people. To improve, pay attention to how your colleagues react to things and ask yourself (or them) what could be behind their behaviour.

Personal accountability helps you assess how you are contributing to a problem. To improve, accept that you probably share some blame for what’s going wrong. Use internal and external self-awareness to think carefully about how you may need to change.

(Adapted from “To Improve Your Team, First Work on Yourself” by Jennifer Porter.)

When moderating a panel discussion, keep the audience in mind

As you rise in your career and your visibility grows, you may be asked to moderate a panel discussion. Unifying several people’s perspectives into a conversation can be challenging, so create the conditions for a meaningful exchange. Before the event, give your panellists time to prepare by asking for their thoughts on the topic, whether over email or with a phone call. You can also share the questions you plan to ask. During the panel, remember that your goal is to ensure a great experience for the audience. Ask specific questions that will be of interest to listeners, direct them at the panellists who will have the most relevant answers and follow up when needed. And keep track of who’s talking too much — the point of a panel is to hear from many people, not just one or two. Don’t be afraid to politely cut off someone whose answer is turning into a monologue.

(Adapted from “How to Moderate a Panel Discussion” by Dorie Clark.)

Published in Dawn, The Business and Finance Weekly, March 11th, 2019