Imagine a world free of chaos, where no one is judged by other people based on their varying interests, where no one feels self-conscious of themselves and everyone is satisfied within.
Now return to reality. As, unfortunately, that world merely exists in the imagination and is not real at all. For in reality, nothing is perfect and there are a multitude of things wrong with this world. Among those things is the lack of sense of individuality and the appreciation of it.
But, first, what is individuality exactly? It is the quality a person posses that distinguishes them from everyone else in the world. It is made up of their own particular needs, interests, goals, responsibilities, hobbies, views, hopes and what not.
The sense of individuality has been commended by people since the beginning of time. In spite of its importance, I believe some people still tend to overlook it. These people constantly tell us the standards everyone is expected to adhere to or else, we won’t be accepted by society.
A common example of this would be how some people consider fair complexion as a sign of beauty and look down upon those with dark skin. This totally goes against the fact that each individual is a separate person with their own particular appearance and can’t become like all others. This is so damaging to those who do not fit this concept of beauty set by others. This behaviour may provoke a mindset that you are doing others a favour by pressurising them to act in a certain way and become “perfect”.
Many students, especially youngsters like us, suffer because of this mentality, as some parents still believe that aside from engineering, medical, law and business, all other career choices are irrelevant and a total waste of time. They indifferently neglect their children’s interests and force them to go for the career they think is best.
Eventually, most children listen to their parents, for they wish to be obedient, just like we all do. But as time passes by, they realise that they made a huge mistake and that they should’ve pursued a career they were passionate about in the first place because they were interested in it. Now, they’re stuck with a career they despise and are not good at either, for the rest of their lives. This is merely because in their parents’ mind, a perfect child is supposed to either be a doctor or an engineer. Now don’t get me wrong, as parents do want the best for their kids, but no one’s perfect and sometimes they too, can make wrong decisions.
Lack of sense of individuality does not only impact students, but it also makes life hard for other people. Imagine someone striving to become a better person by doing good deeds, thinking people will be pleased by them. But, unfortunately, there will be some people along the way who will criticise this person only because they didn’t like the way that person carried out the good deeds. These people will point out every minor flaws and rusty details, ignoring the fact that the person still did good. For the “perfect person” in their mind never makes mistakes.
Here’s an example: suppose you decided to donate your old clothes to needy people, thinking it will bring you closer to Allah and people will also be impressed by you. But, instead of being pleased with your good deeds, there will still be some people who will find flaws in your actions and say that you are a bad person, for you only donated old clothes and not new ones, neglecting the fact that at the end of the day, you still donated clothes which will be worn by the needy and poor people and this will make them happy.
Such ignorant behaviour fosters a feeling of never being good enough and causes people, especially youngsters, to become self-conscious. That’s why, it’s important to adopt measures to embrace your individuality to live a happy and content life. There are two essential things that you must try:
1) If you are doing something, don’t do it just because others are doing it too. Do it because you like it, as long as it does not harm anyone.
2) Quit trying to please everyone, except God. Because you can never please everyone and if you try doing so, you’ll fail and end up feeling disappointed in yourself.
I know this may seem hard for young people but try taking small steps and sooner than later, they will pick up pace.
It’s about time we do something about this issue or else, it’ll get out of our control. Everyone needs to realise that each person is different and there is nothing wrong with it. Allah created us all to be different and that’s how we are supposed to be. So what if a person likes to study English instead of maths? So what if a person prefers watching movies over reading books? So what if a person wants to be a writer rather than a doctor?
Each and every person on this planet is unique in their own way, which is absolutely normal. Individuality needs to be embraced, not frowned upon.
Published in Dawn, Young World, April 25th, 2020
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