I AM a doctor who graduated two years ago. I will not blow my own trumpet, but my academic record and relationship with my patients say it all.

I graduated with a total of 73 per cent in my final MBBS year. All those in the field of medicine know this is no mean feat.

I remember the chilly December nights when I would sit on the carpet in front of a heater and study, with everyone around asleep.

I would write in my notebook while my hands hurt. I would miss my family events because I had my module examinations around the corner.

During Ramazan, when we barely got time for sehar and iftar during our emergency duties, attending a burns patient was more important than breaking our fast.

It all needs compassion, passion, empathy and love for your profession and people.

After I was done with my house job. I did clear my post-graduate examinations, the prestigious Fellowship of the College of Physicians and Surgeons (FCPS), in a single attempt.

But I now have nothing but questions. Where do I stand, if anywhere at all? Were my merit, abilities and investment in terms of time, money and hard work, a joke?

One year past all those examinations, I am still unable to get a job.

Yes, it is true. I am a doctor with an excellent academic record (straight first divisions), who never failed a sub-stage in medical school.

My love for the profession is pushing me to visit every hospital before inductions, and I am sitting numerous examinations and appearing in interviews, but despite all achievements and commitment to the profession, I am being told to come next time just because I lack the ‘connections’ with the right people.

What are the criteria to get through things in Pakistan?

Just calculate the amount of money I have wasted in transportation, and thousands of rupees in paying application processing fees. And what did I get in the end? Frustration. What else?

I see people with the ‘right connections’ but with merit much lower than mine getting accommodated. It is heart-wrenching, and it does hurt.

The governments have been neglecting doctors. There is hardly a proper plan for postgraduate trainees.

Rawalpindi, being the most generous city, has thousands of migrants, but it has only a few teaching hospitals. Who is responsible for this apathy?

I feel bad for myself, my parents, colleagues and our health system at large that has been completely destroyed.

We do not have enough institutions and teaching hospitals. Why will a doctor wish to stay in Pakistan in these circumstances?

Dr Seemab Safdar
Rawalpindi

Published in Dawn, December 20th, 2020