As Covid-19 restrictions and lockdowns ease up, many of us feel an increasing anxiety about what might happen when the pandemic-related safety measures are lifted. Not just that, picking up and resuming social lives also seems like a scary prospect.

What began as temporary measures during the early days of the pandemic, feels almost permanent in many ways. We were homebound and isolated physically, but life moved on. People had birthdays, got married, some graduated, while others started new jobs from their desks at home. We lost friends and family members, but welcomed babies to the world. While we’re excited to go back to restaurants and outings, it feels as though re-integrating with our loved ones may not be easy.

During the pandemic Fawad*, 19, started university online. He began his transition to adulthood and his new journey to independence from his bedroom. “During this period of social distancing, I found myself unable to maintain many of my pre-Covid relationships,” says Fawad. “The inability to actually meet people in person has drained my social battery. I’m not sure I will be able to socialise with the same energy as I did previously.”

Fawad’s case is just one of many that shows how social priorities and people’s personalities have changed in the past year.

For Izzah, the pandemic meant that she was required to function independently without college, internships and plans with friends. “When I wasn’t able to cope with being functional during lockdown, I reached out for help and found out that I had been living with undiagnosed Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder (ADHD). I can’t really keep viewing myself as neurotypical, but it feels as though I have aged five years in one year.”

Izzah explains that she had to reintroduce herself to family and friends. “I was worried about the relationship dynamic shifting,” she says. “I’m touchy about being ‘talked down’ to, but some friends used this as an opportunity to get to know me better, instead of treating me differently.”

Nearly two years of physical distancing in the Covid-19 pandemic have left many of us are wondering how to navigate life again as restrictions ease

 The period of social distancing has been a blend of grief, stress and loss for some, but others had the luxury of slowing down, staying home and taking a break. The experiences have been individual and varying. Dipti Solanki, a UK-based grief specialist and transformational coach shed light on how to understand the journey of moving past the last year and finding ways to re-integrate with loved ones.

“The pandemic has brought about a huge change and, with any type of change — be it positive or negative — there is the possibility that people can experience feelings of loss and grief,” explains Solanki. “When a familiar pattern of behaviour is interrupted, feelings of loss and grief may rise and these affect the way we step out of lockdown.”

 Solanki shares multiple tips on re-introducing ourselves to the world, steps we can take to make it a process as direct, genuine and easy as possible. The first step, she says, is to acknowledge your feelings, drop any shame you may be feeling and know you are not alone. Getting curious to understand your feelings and anxiety, is important too.

“Meet people on a one-to-one basis initially, to take away the pressure of meeting people in groups,” says Solanki. “Just because it’s permitted, doesn’t mean you have to. Take your time to reconnect with loved ones and let the conversation evolve into an honest one. Perhaps about what lockdown has meant for you, what you have missed, what you have experienced. Drop the toxic positivity and instead adopt emotional honesty.”

Dropping any expectations of picking up where you left off is important in order to naturally reconnect and integrate with society.

For Ansar*, a 52-year-old chartered accountant, lockdown proved to be a revelatory time. “My previous introduction to a pandemic was through history books or movies,” he says. “It had never occurred to me that I would live to experience one affecting seven billion people. Unfortunately, two people close to me lost their lives to Covid-19. The pandemic has made us realise how vulnerable our lives are and the stress that the uncertainty brings is a killer. I used this time to bond with my children and reflect on life. Future planning seem useless.” 

For those who have lost a loved one, anxiety may be particularly heightened, as many have had to grieve alone. Saba* a university student and graphic designer, 20, lost her grandmother to Covid-19 complications in the midst of lockdown. “It’s one thing to grieve in private and stay at home,” says Saba. “But I just can’t come to terms with having to go back to and being a part of a ‘normal’ without someone who was incredibly important to me.”

A cause to celebrate returning back to normal lives is to once again have access to our support systems, jobs and livelihoods. “Long term mental health and economic impacts of this situation need to be understood,” says Saba.

“I am really not looking forward to meeting people once lockdowns are eased because Covid is not over,” says Sadia* who works for a multinational. “The work-from-home situation has been a blessing for me because I could take care of my baby while working. People still don’t seem to understand the importance of SOPs [standard operating procedures] and have forgotten time management with too much time on their hands.

“Despite everyone I know being vaccinated, there’s still a risk of getting infected and there is no vaccine for babies yet. I really don’t want to put my toddler at risk for a casual hangout. Things might have been different had I not had a child but, now, even the thought of taking him on playdates scares me.

“I just hope I’m not making my son anti-social by this. But thankfully, even though he is a pandemic baby, he seems to mix well with the handful of people he has met. But I don’t think I’m comfortable about socialising yet.”

 “It’s okay to be different from who you were previously,” says Solanki. “Along with you, the world has changed too.” Finding a new ‘normal’ may mean that everyone who you spent time with previously, might no longer understand you, and you them.

How one chooses to emerge from one’s experiences is up to the individual. We can only hope that, in the aftermath, the world is a kinder, accepting, and a more patient place.

Sahar Arshad is a journalist and tweets @saharaarshad
*Names changed to protect privacy

Published in Dawn, EOS, June 27th, 2021