It was midnight. Sara was standing on the balcony, staring at the glimmering moon. She had beautiful brown hair piled high on her head, a delicately-shaped face and small beady eyes. She kept pondering for some minutes while staring at the moon.

“I wish I could shine like this moon, but I am not capable enough to shine that bright. I don’t know what my future holds for me,” she whispered. Tears welled up in her eyes and silently trickled down her cheeks.

For the last four months, Sara was preparing for a medical entrance exam. She never wanted to be a doctor, but society always made her feel that this was the best and the only way for a successful future. She started believing this myth and went ahead, opting for science subjects in her high school.

She was not enjoying her studies. She was a creative and artistic person. She had all the qualities of a skilled writer. She loved reading different books of various genres. She loved taking notes of unfamiliar words and phrases since her childhood. This helped her in improving her writing skills. Soon, she started expressing her thoughts in the most appealing and intriguing way. However, she never thought her writing skills could pave the way for a successful career.

These last four months were like a nightmare for Sara. She found herself caught in the constant fear of failure. The thought about what would she do if she failed kept haunting her. This fear of failure did not spare Sara even in her dreams.

Every night she would have a dream about failing her entrance exam and this dream would wake her up with a scream. She would jump in fright. Her face would turn pale and her skin would feel cold and clammy. These emotions would hit her like a bullet through her chest, but she couldn’t dare to tell anyone about it. She would get out of bed and move to pick up the prayer mat. Her lips would desolately move in prayer, imploring God to help her. After her prayer, she would lay on the bed again. However, this time she would fall asleep.

Days turned into months and her fear of failure kept on growing. If she could have spoken to her mother or any of her favourite teachers, things would have been different. She would have felt better. She burnt the midnight oil and did the best she could. However, she could not overcome her fear of failure. Soon, the test day arrived. She performed very well and was satisfied. However, she still had doubts about her result because of her fear of failure.

Later some days, the result of the medical entrance was declared. She passed had the test with a decent score, but mere decent scores could not guarantee admission to a good medical college. She was in low spirits because many qualifiers had better test scores than her.

She started blaming herself for not trying harder. An unexpected wave of guilt swept over her. Regret rushed through her veins as she thought, “I could have performed better if I have studied more.”

Weeks passed by until the day on which the merit list was to be announced day arrived. It was the day for which everyone was waiting desperately. Sara’s heart was beating faster as every second passed by. She was standing on the balcony.

It dawned bright and sunny, with trees swaying gently. The sun was setting and the sunset was glorious. That breath-taking weather could captivate anyone, but Sara could not notice any of these things. She could not escape her wildest thoughts. After some minutes, she went into her room. She picked her phone up to check if the merit list was announced and sat on a chair placed near her.

As she opened the website, she could not believe what she just saw. It was a dream for her, a dream that had kept haunting her for the last several months was now a reality. A tingle of sorrow swept over her and she started pondering over the unlucky happening that had just befallen her. Tears formed in her eyes. Her heart ached and she could hardly breathe. She began crying her heart out. She stood up from the chair, composed herself, wiped her tears away and went to find her mother.

Her mother was in the kitchen. She went to her with the bad news that she couldn’t make it to a medical college, having missed the merit list with only a few marks. Her eyes were puffy with a trace of wetness around her eyelids. Her throat was too raw with pain for her to speak.

She handled her phone to her mother. At first, her mother was distressed by the bad news as she looked at the merit list. Then, she looked up and hugged her daughter.

“It’s okay dear, life is not always predictable. It has ups and downs. Failure is part of life and it is the next step towards success.”

Tears rolled down Sara’s cheeks and she started crying again. Her mother again tried to calm her down.

“Sara, please don’t cry over the spilled milk. You can give it a try again. Everything will be fine, my daughter,” she consoled Sara with a hug.

Sara began her gap year with the intention of retaking the medical exam. However, one day while she was using her phone, a video about career choices caught her attention. She clicked on it. She was astounded to see the perspective she had never seen before or the perspective that society had never taught her. She concluded she wanted to be a writer and ran towards her mother.

Hearing her wise words, her parents supported her in her decision. Then, she applied for a bachelor’s degree in English in some prestigious universities.

Later some days, she got a letter from a university. Sara ran breathlessly to her mother with the good news.

“Guess what, mum!” she cried triumphantly, holding up the admission letter.

“You made it!” her mother murmured, her lips quivering as tears welled up in her eyes.

“Mother, why are you crying, it is the moment of happiness and not grief!” exclaimed Sara.

“My dear, my tears are not due to grief or sadness. My tears are of happiness,” explained her mother.

After several years, Sara became a well-known writer of her country and her novels were widely read by people. She couldn’t believe that life could be so good for her. She would end up doing what she had loved. Her disappointment and failure had turned out to be the best thing that could have happened to her, for it paved the way for her to step on a different path.

Her story is a great example of a proverb, “Every cloud has a silver lining.” This proverb explains the importance of staying optimistic, even in tough times of life. This is what life is all about.

Published in Dawn, Young World, July 31st, 2021