For most people, myself included, keeping up with their New Year’s resolution is like trying to hike up a mountain with a boulder strapped to your back. We ambitiously take on too much work to be productive and then end up throwing out all our guidelines before January is even over.

Why is so, you may start thinking. Am I the only one? Why does everyone seem seven steps ahead of me? Was this even worth it? Uncertainty takes over most of us the moment we don’t meet our own expectations.

‘Now another year has been wasted without checking more than two things off my list,’ you may conclude angrily. Well, let me tell you a little fact: not one person out there exists like the idealised version you have imagined in your head. You’re competing with a literal thought, a metaphor, something that doesn’t even have a physical manifestation. So why put yourself through this continuous self-torment every year?

Instead, it will be much healthier for you to take a fresh approach this year. Let me tell you how.

Stay motivated

No one with a list as ambitious as yours can complete it within a year. The reason is that we give ourselves way too much to do, with not enough time allocated for it. We think so-and-so did this, hence, I must be able to do it as well.

Well, not really. Just like our thumbprints, our lives and lifestyles are very different from others. Sure, you may find or relate to someone similar to you, but they can never be the same as you. Even identical twins aren’t completely identical in every facet of life, unless they consciously mould themselves to be so. You will always have something different from another person and pushing yourself to be exactly like them can easily turn it from just a healthy motivation to a crumbling self-image.

It’s pretty much impossible not to be productive all throughout the year. Sure, you may not have done something off your resolution, but you must’ve done something outside of it. You might have studied well for a class. Or have reminded yourself to drink water. Or listened to your friends when they wanted someone to rant to. Or may have volunteered for a neighbourhood cleanliness drive. All these little, seemingly inconsequential things that you may have done without giving them a single thought are all productive. Even if they don’t seem that way.

It’s unnecessary and harmful for your mental and physical health to push yourself beyond your limits and capabilities. You need to come out of this “alpha grind set”. With the rise of social media during this pandemic, people have forgotten what healthy and unhealthy self-care rituals really are. ‘Gyming’ until you’re fatigued, constantly trying to be ‘Instagrammable’ or fasting for long periods, may seem and feel “right”, but they’re not. You don’t need to worry about or do any of that stuff, unless it really, truly makes you happy and you’re doing it for yourself.

At the end of the year, if you look back upon what you’ve been through and whom you’ve come out as, you’ll notice one very distinct feature: you acted. Whether that action ended up in smoke or in laurels is irrelevant. The main consensus is that you took a step forward and did something. This risk might’ve brought something new to your attention or opened a door of possibilities for you.

What are you going to regret the most — not taking action and leaving 2022 the way you entered it, or taking action and evolving?

Analysis paralysis

Something that has always held me back from taking action is overthinking every minute problem to the point that it morphs into this humongous obstacle that I just can’t get past.

This happens to anyone who’s starting a new task. We think about it until we run out of energy to actually do something about it. This sort of mental paralysis is the worst because this hurdle wasn’t present before, you brought it upon yourself.

But this has a solution as well: Whenever you are faced with a problem, ask yourself, can I do anything about this? If yes, then great, act on it. If no, then okay, let it be. It’s as easy as that.

Accept failures

In the famous book series, Harry Potter, it is told to us repeatedly that words don’t have any weight unless you grant it to them.

“Voldemort” was just a name, it was the people who associated fear with it. Similarly, “failure” is just a word; we’re the ones who’ve damned it.

When things go as you planned them, you call it a success. And when they don’t, then no matter the result, you regard it as a failure. The truth is that you have no way of knowing what’s wrong for you and what isn’t. What if this attempt was a success, just not your version of it?

Drafting a resolution is a great habit, but telling yourself that if you don’t achieve every single goal then it’s all pointless, is unhealthy. An important factor in setting goals for your future is to be kind and realistic.

Turn your fears into strength

Instead of heightening your anxiety by repeatedly telling yourself that you can never achieve your goals and fearing from the failures, try using that fear in your benefit.

A way to use your anxiety is by letting yourself imagine the worst outcome. A little freaking out right now is a lot better than having a nervous breakdown at an important date.

Remember this worst-case-scenario every time you think you’re failing, and you’ll find yourself fuelled with fear. Use that fear as motivation and act upon your intended goals. By preparing for the worst and expecting the best, you will sail through 2022 feeling confident for sure. Not completing every little task on your list is sometimes better than trying to do everything and falling short.

Find peace within yourself

You’ll never be able to achieve any goal of yours in the present if your mind is too preoccupied with micromanaging your future. Remember, you are not always in charge. Though it’s quite scary, there’s a sort of comfort in knowing that nothing is in your hands. And since you don’t know what the future holds, why not just enjoy the present and pray for the best? Most people don’t realise this till their last breath, hence most people are never content with their lives. If nothing is going to turn out picture-perfect, then why beat yourself up about not making it so?

You are the author of your own story, but sometimes even authors have to take a break and let the story unravel as it wills.

You shouldn’t make a New Year’s resolution this year. Instead, you should make a decision: that you will never stop trying to learn about the world around you and that you will always give yourself a break when you need it. That’s it. Because in order to grow, we must try and make mistakes and try again, for it is only by putting in effort and doing something that we can evolve.

Published in Dawn, Young World, January 22th, 2022