Have you ever felt bad after misbehaving with your parents or hurting someone?

At some point in our lives, all of us have done things that made us feel sorry. But, many of us are unable to gather the courage to apologise for our mistakes. This article is for you if you are one such person.

Firstly, we need to know that human beings are naturally flawed. No one can be flawless forever. All of us have weaknesses and strengths. Hence, it is quite normal to err. What really matters the most is how we react after being at fault.

Imagine you are watching your favourite show and your mama asks you to complete your homework immediately. You feel annoyed by the continuous insistence of your mother to stop watching the show. You get irritated because you are unable to enjoy the show. Out of anger and irritation, you shout and refuse to obey her.

After a while, you realise you were wrong. Your mother is upset too. What would you do in such a situation? Morally and logically, you should apologise to your mother. But, it’s not what many of us do.

Instead of accepting mistakes, most of us prefer to justify our actions. Though we know that we are the one at fault, we still try to put the blame on someone else’s shoulder, because it takes a lot of heart to apologise and accept a mistake. It isn’t as easy as it may seem.

Here are a few things that we all need to know regarding apologies.

We are taught wrong!

There is a common misconception in our society that an apology is a sign of weakness. We grow up learning that making mistakes is something bad. A good child doesn’t do anything wrong. He/she has to be perfect all the time. Thus, we develop this concept that confessing to and apologising for an inaccuracy or mistake are the traits of a weak person.

In fact, all of such thoughts are unrealistic and misleading. Neither is any one of us flawless, nor is it wrong to confess a mistake or fault. Rather, it is a symbol of strength and wisdom to ask for forgiveness and pardon for one’s actions.

A sign of maturity

Generally, no one likes to be wrong and, at the same time, we are aware of the fact that every human being is prone to hurt others in some way, sooner or later. However, it requires great maturity and integrity to admit that you are wrong.

Some people try to find alternate ways to avoid apologising. Sometimes, one may make up fake stories and play the blame-game to justify his/her mistakes. Such an approach of fixing things is usually messier and less honourable. It can even degrade you if it turns out that you made a blunder and then kept lying to hide it.

Only a fool would be at fault and persistently defend it, while a mature person would offer sincere apology for his mistakes.

Riddance from regret

When we intentionally or unintentionally hurt someone, remorse and regret follow naturally. Even though we don’t think about it, we have a heavy heart. The regret keeps haunting us.

It’s quite common that people become paralysed by regret and remorse, and hold themselves back from taking the responsibility of their actions. However, not only offering an apology can set us free from regret, but also restore the good relations between people. We feel a lot lighter and satisfied with ourselves, having taken the responsibility of our actions.

Be the first to apologise

Someone has rightly said that, “The first to apologise is the bravest. The first to forgive is the strongest. The first to forget is the happiest.”

It isn’t really mandatory that a person has to be at fault every single time in order to apologise. Rather, sometimes offering an apology could be an act of kindness and a symbol of love. It depicts that we value the other person more than our ego.

Imagine, your mum is ill and she thinks that you have been up to no good. Even though you have not done anything wrong, you should apologise rather than try to prove her wrong. This is not because you were guilty, but because at the moment you want her to feel better.

The magic-wand of sorry

“Sorry” is such a magical word that it can fix hearts and resolve disputes. Some sweet words, followed by a sincere apology, can bring years-long hostility to an end. It can put smiles on sad faces and reunite old friends.

Being humans, the wise and the fool both miscalculate things now and then. The primary difference lies in how they react after it. The fool stick to their ego by refusing to admit their fault, while the wise take out their magical-wand, called sorry, to fix the matter.

Acceptance of apology

The act of forgiveness can be just as hard as apologising, but that must not hold us back from accepting an apology.

Holding grudges is foolish; letting go of the hostility is wise. An unforgiving person always brings anger and bitterness in relationships. Such a person remains mostly anxious and cannot enjoy the happy moments of life. On the other hand, a forgiving human is full of kindness and contentment.

Hence, we ought to treat others the same way we expect them to behave with us. When we apologise, we expect the next person to be kind in return. Similarly, we must welcome our friends and family-members with open arms when they offer an apology. Let’s be the first to apologise and the first to forgive, in order to lead a happy life.

Published in Dawn, Young World, March 12th, 2022