Hardships are a part of life. No one can always be happy, nor can they always be sad. Changes are natural, be it in the weather, our body, our mental growth or emotions. Instead of delaying facing and accepting changes, one should stand firm and go through the changes.

You can face hardships in your academic life in the form of exams or tests. Or you can experience physical problems, through some injury or mental stress in the form of disappointments. Most of the time, adversity comes from high expectations, unrealistic plans and inadequate input.

Rather than waiting for someone to come and help you in your difficult times, you must help yourself. Hardships in life bring out your full potentials, helping you be who you are and who you are likely to be. The outcome of hardships doesn’t usually depend upon your success or failure, but on what lessons one gets and what use we put the lessons to.

Here I am sharing some helpful points to make you confident and calm in the face of adversities.

Have the right mindset

A powerful mindset leads to fruitful outcomes and a powerful destiny. There is always a strong mindset behind every success. One’s mindset plays a great part in defining outcomes in one’s life.

A very fundamental mindset, I believe, should be: “No one is going to come and save me, I am my own hero.”

This is because no one has anything to do with your problems, your life and your tasks. These can only be handled best by you. You are your own saviour and the sooner you accept it, the earlier you will be able to take charge of your own life and destiny.

On the other hand, a fixed mindset cuts off opportunities and stops one from taking risks that may lead to success, while a growth mindset keeps one moving forward.

A person with a fixed mindset will say: “If I don’t try, then I won’t fail.” And someone with a growth mindset will always believe: “I only fail when I stop trying.”

Indulge in positive self-talk

From the beginning to the end of facing any hardship, a person needs to encourage him/herself by speaking kindly to oneself. Talking positively to oneself is like nurturing a tiny plant so that it grows more efficiently. Positive self-talk and an effective mindset help a person to successfully reach their goals.

As David Taylor (Olympic athlete) said: “Words matter. And the words that matter most are the ones you say to yourself.”

Thinking and speaking highly of yourself leads to an increase in confidence and self-belief. A positive and kind voice in your head always helps you look at the brighter side. Rather than using, “I can’t”, start using, “I don’t, but I will try.” This will not only help in boosting your confidence, but will also give you more power to reach the goal.

In all the phases of confronting hardships, give proper time to yourself to keep yourself healthy. During self-talk research, experts at Mayo Clinic said that the shifting of negative thoughts into the positive ones may lead to lower rates of depression and longer life expectancy.

Be adaptable

Facing hardship is a normal phase of life that cannot be avoided, but it gives you a powerful reminder of your potentials. The knowledge of one’s potentials makes it easy to assess things and bring them under control and learning to ignore things that don’t concern you. Giving your best and leaving the results in the hands of fate are important.

As the famous author John C. Maxwell said, “Sometimes you win, sometimes you learn.”

And if somehow the results are not as expected, there is still no reason to be sad. Even failure teaches us many lessons, that can help in the future by showing us where we went wrong or how to do it better next time.

Another one of my favourite quotations that perfectly fits a situation where the result may not be in our favour, is by Benjamin Franklin: “Those that hurt, instruct!”

You can’t change a situation, all you can do is give your best, keep yourself relaxed and leave everything else. Whatever the outcome, it will teach you a lesson.

Express gratitude

When life is like riding a scary rollercoaster, you should remind yourself about all that you had and have, that should make you feel grateful and blessed. Appreciate and thank yourself for surviving and working through all you suffered (if you have suffered). Be grateful for the special people you have.

By demonstrating gratitude, your brain releases two neurotransmitters (dopamine and serotonin), both are responsible for your emotions and making you feel good. Expressing gratitude to oneself and others make you humble and positive.

Look back for lessons

It is normal to not reach a goal as you planned. Even if failure is in your destiny after all your hard work, it is not the end. Nothing bad has happened. Even if a door has closed on you, there is always another door that you can open and explore the unlimited possibilities that lay ahead.

And after every failure, you are going to be even stronger. Failures should always be appreciated because they give you life lessons.

As Samuel Beckett rightly said: “Ever tried. Ever failed. No matter. Try again. Fail again. Fail better.”

From the initial point of developing a perfect mindset to the phase of looking back for lessons to learn, you are moving on a journey of self-improvement and growth. You are not static, but moving forward and changing, just make sure to change in a positive manner. Grow into a better version of yourself. These are the secrets of a life well-lived.

Positive self-talk leads to self-love, that is so important if we want to reach our full potentials. Adaptability teaches one to be passionate and confident to work harder, whatever the circumstances may be. Being grateful teaches you to appreciate life’s little pleasures.

Being passionate and dedicated is what leads to success. But forgetting to take care of and love yourself will stifle your growth and talent. You are important. Make yourself a priority.

Published in Dawn, Young World, April 16th, 2022