The Man I Didn’t Marry
By Anna Bell
HarperCollins, UK
ISBN: 978-0008340803
374pp.

Not being a fan of ‘rom-coms’ or ‘chick flicks’, I had picked up The Man I Didn’t Marry, by Anna Bell, with barely tepid interest and that too only because of its intriguing title — perhaps in the anticipation that it will have some juicy, vengeful take on ‘exes’ in general, and husbands in particular. Because, let’s be honest: most of us nurture vindictive, payback thoughts of the ones we couldn’t get even with. And it’s cathartic to explore such ideas. What? Don’t judge me!

But Bell’s ninth novel — she has published three other books under the name Annabell Scott — turned out to be more than simple chick-lit with its enjoyable mix of well-executed comedic situations and the absurdities people resort to for the sake of appearances and relationships.

The story dives straight into situational comedy with the seven-months-pregnant Ellie who, one fine day, finds herself in the unimaginable situation of having her husband of four years develop amnesia, and five years wiped clean off his brain’s memory board.

With no recollection of falling in love with Ellie, marrying her, or having a two-year-old daughter, husband Max lands at his mother’s house after work one day to watch football with his dad. Tuned into blissful bachelor mode, his first confusion occurs while switching channels on the television as he exclaims out loud, “I keep trying to find the sports channels but they’re all blocked. Dad will be so furious…”

A young woman’s husband loses his memory of falling in love with her, marrying her and having kids with her. Naturally, this trauma is ripe for situational comedy

And thus starts a series of dramatics, beginning with Max’s mother hiding the fact that, during the past five years, his parents have divorced and moved on to other partners.

From living a blissful married life with her high school crush, Ellie’s reality changes into a nightmare when Max calls her by her teenage nickname and, indicating her pregnant belly, asks who the father is. To Max, Ellie is still his younger sister’s friend whom he last saw in high school, so the fact that they have a child together is incomprehensible and the thought of intimacy between them almost incestuous.

Max losing his memory, Ellie trying to jog it and Max’s parents putting up appearances is the crux of the storyline. Interspersed with ludicrous situations brought on by Max’s parents’ farce of keeping a married pretence in front of their son, and Ellie’s pregnancy support group of “Yummy Mummies” — whose collective fear of childbirth is that it involves something akin to passing out a watermelon — the book keeps the reader highly entertained.

The comic moments are sometimes laugh-out-loud funny and do a reasonable job of mitigating the cheesy, lovey-dovey moments. Really though, isn’t it time romance writers got real about love? Are there real couples out there who get doe-eyed about love after the first year (or month or week) of marriage?

Though the premise is thin, the author manages to hold the reader’s interest sufficiently with humour and bits of insight on relationships. The deeper message is how actual reality is different from perceived reality and how we usually gloss over the past, blocking out the truth because it doesn’t fit with our perfect picture of life as we want it to be.

And, when one does get the rare chance to unravel ‘what was’, it comes as a shock that nothing is really as it seems. Love is messy, parenthood frustrating and parents are imperfect. The only constant is change but, as Bell writes: “You don’t see the world changing when you are living it every day.”

Entertaining readers with several references to popular culture, Bell’s narration is very current and plausible. Ellie is a devoted fan of Comic-Con and the Star Wars films, she plays Dungeons and Dragons and loves to watch the police procedural television show Line of Duty.

The book actually starts off with the 20-something heroine dressed in a Wonder Woman costume at a Comic-Con event. For those unaware of this cult-like gathering, it’s a multi-day event with a primary focus on comic books — the Marvel and DC type. Fans of popular superheroes gather to meet creators, experts and each other, and vary in ages from teenagers, the elderly and everything in between.

The story also climaxes with a Comic-Con backdrop, leaving us in no doubt that the author is a true fan of the event herself. Letting on more of her personal biases/ preferences, Bell slips in several digs at politics. It’s quite a funny moment when Max has no clue what ‘Brexit’ is and his mother screams out, “I want what he has!” And when they show Max clips of Donald Trump’s speeches as president of the United States, he thinks they are all parodies.

While the reading of this story was actually fun, an unforgivable flaw sadly brought the book’s creative worth down: the novel is badly edited. From the very first page, verb tenses jump from past to present continuous in ways that are extremely jarring to read.

I did try, but in no way can I justify the verb shift as a creative/ literary device. It is an error, and bad grammar in a book is unforgivable. It is not even a one-off thing as incorrect verbs continue throughout, which is obvious evidence of editing oversight.

The book’s publishing date is 2021, so it is obviously a ‘lockdown’ project. Whether it skipped proofreading and other editorial diligence because of lack of access during Covid-19 measures, one cannot say.

Either way, it is unfair to the writer and the reader to experience incorrect language in a novel, especially since the book is the product of such a noteworthy publication house as HarperCollins, which has been in the publishing business for more than 200 years. I do hope that this is not the standard by which to gauge this notable publisher’s current work.

But do not be discouraged by my strict view of the grammar slip; I still recommend The Man I Didn’t Marry for an easy, happy, uplifting read, if only to find humour in the darker moments, when life seems to spiral out of one’s hands. As Bell writes, “don’t make things bigger by adding unnecessary worries.”

Just have fries with it.

The reviewer is a former member of staff and a writer/ columnist covering social and geopolitical issues in Karachi, Pakistan and Toronto, Canada. She can be reached at maheenrashdi@gmail.com

Published in Dawn, Books & Authors, June 5th, 2022