The human mind is a pool of distinct and dissimilar traits and emotions. Humility, arrogance, optimism, pessimism, wickedness and virtuousness are only some of the examples. Everyone has these characteristics, regardless of the fact that many of these traits spread evil and negativity in society.

Today, we are going to discuss one such trait that is dominant in teenagers. As we grow up, the attribute of arrogance and self-importance starts to build up within us. Perhaps the reason behind this is that years of obedience to elders makes us irritated and fed up, until we reach the teenage years. We want to make every decision ourselves and do not want elders to meddle in our affairs. The problem is further worsened by technological advancements.

Social media teaches us that we have become old enough to understand the complexities of society. As soon as we reach teenage, it seems to us that we are old enough to deal with all our matters. The need of seeking elders’ guidance is arrogantly believed as an ‘out-dated fashion’.

Till this stage, there is no fault in you. This is natural. You cannot stop these temptations from arising in you. If you are one of these teenagers who want to make your own decisions to be made by yourself and be proud. You are a normal human being who possesses an active mind. But, dear readers, do not forget that a great psychological test awaits you!

Will you let these temptations influence your actions to make you an autocratic personality? If this happens, then, believe me, you are in great trouble. Over-confidence will loom over your decisions and you will believe that everything you do is sure to be perfect. Errors and imperfections will characterise your actions, because, at this age, you are too immature to make the right decisions. Till the time you realise that your actions can be incorrect, probably your teenage would have ended and regret will sadden you.

But if you want your decisions to be accurate, then you will have to make a great sacrifice. You will have to resist the thoughts of self-importance and humbly consult your elders, especially your parents, in your matters. You will have to prioritise your opinion over theirs. In many cases, peer pressure will push you towards doing things that you know your parents will disapprove of, or you should stay away from.

This will then lead to clashes with your elders, since they will take your actions as immature or rebellious. The choice or wishes of your elders might not be accepted by your logic, tempting you to ignore it (such as preferring outdoor sports over indoor ones). But, as I said before, this is a great spiritual challenge and if you learn to face it wisely, then you will be able to avoid mistakes and regrets.

If you learn to control the conflict within you, arising from your desire to assert your wishes over everyone else’s, or only follow your own desires, you will not be the bossy and selfish child constantly scolded by your elders. Instead, they will praise your humility and appreciate the fact that you seek advice from them.

Furthermore, in the long run, you will remain superior to your mates who live by their own rules and actions. This is because no matter how learned and knowledgeable we become, our wisdom is no match to that of our elders. They have more experience of life, and know well its comforts and difficulties. They have taken care of us their whole lives, so how can our decision be better than theirs? If you let them make decisions for you, then the chances of your success are high, for they will never let you follow a path on which you might fall.

To sum up, teenage is a great trial that defines and builds our character and shapes our future. Success in practical life is dependent on this phase of mental growth. Do not shut your minds to any recommendations by elders. Try to suppress the temptation of taking your decisions entirely by yourself. Consult you elders and learn to accept their opinions. Believe me, sooner or later, you will realise that these decisions that were made in consultation with elders were the best for you.

This is why Imam Ghazali said: “If you do not learn from lessons of other people, you become lessons to other people.”

Published in Dawn, Young World, September 10th, 2022