LAHORE: Marina Fareed is a born ambassador of love and friendship, using hospitality, hallmark of Pakistanis, in particular, and South Asians, in general, is to win hearts and friendships while living in New York.

After serving food with an open heart to guests in her house in the Manhattan district of New York, for decades, Ms Fareed thought of documenting her memories and came up with “You Are Invited: Diplomats, Diaspora and Dégustation’, a collection of coffee-table stories of friendships forged over food.

The launch of the book was held at the Lahore Literary Festival’s 10th edition on Sunday, where Ms Fareed, an international hostess and facilitator, sat with Michelin-starred chef Suvir Saran to describe her experiences as a hostess and writer.

“Building relationships is crucial to diplomacy, therefore, I suggested my husband extend invitations to guests,” she said.

“I feel the life of people around me is important to me, so I have eagerly embraced the tradition of hospitality wherever life has taken me,” she said.

Mr Saran, who said he has fed in Ms Fareed’s house for 30 years, says her house is always open not only to him but his friends as well, no matter what time of the day it is.

“There were times when discussing problems over the dinner table was more informal than in the halls or corridors of the United Nations. Even nowadays whenever there is the UN General Assembly session ongoing, my home becomes a café to all,” she said. And her usual guests are without any constraints of ethnicity, nationality, religious beliefs and colour.

“I’ve broken bread with atheist, Jewish, Muslim and Hindu guests at her home,” said the host of the session, describing his experience as a guest to Ms Fareed.

How can you do this so easily?

“You see, love connects people; food connects people; I try to change the narrative of my country through hospitality,” she said, adding that diverse communities help the people grow. Going further, Ms Fareed took a diverse group to India showcasing the hospitality of the people on the other side of the border.

Her journey to selfless hospitality started in the 70s when she married Shaukat in Spain, and in the ensuing period, they opened their heart and doors to guests.

“People were curious to know about India and Pakistan, and in those days, diplomats were of the finest quality, who built connections, powerful connections, effortlessly with people,” she said.

While writing the book, she said, she travelled back to the era of the 60s and described the skills of diplomats and the diaspora of those times.

“Sadly, the quality of diplomats deteriorated over the decades, but private people thrived as the best ambassadors of Pakistan,” she said, adding she had met and hosted several wonderful people working as the chief executives of companies and contributing to the welfare of the country silently.

Ms Fareed is a wonderful host but her dinner menus are sans show-off.

“I cook and present whatever can be easily done,” she says, adding that she, however, takes care of the cooking process, the quality of ingredients and the way of presentation.

“I never get frustrated while serving guests, because an open table and open heart never let me frustrated,” she said.

How the idea of the book struck her mind?

“When Covid-19 abruptly altered life as we knew it, I finally took a moment to reflect on what I was doing because I was always so preoccupied with hosting. I felt motivated to commemorate the people who had passed through my life via food and memories after discovering the trail of that event. I hope that this mixture of events, objects, and people captures the fusion of our lives.”

The book is a delicious blend of recipes that win hearts and memories that adorn the mind.

Published in Dawn, February 27th, 2023