Mummy was feigning to be asleep as she heard the rattle of crockery and the clinking of cutlery coming from the kitchen. Although she winced at the thought of the mess she would have to clear up when she would go to the kitchen, the hushed and happy voices of her children as they prepared her breakfast made her heart swell with pride.

Finally, when the kids entered her room, the eldest carrying the breakfast tray, the middle one holding the gift and the youngest a bouquet, she could act no more. Sitting up in bed, she opened her arms lovingly and all three rushed to hug her.

With an amused look on his face, daddy was watching this ritual the kids followed religiously on every Mother’s Day. He asked with a smile, “Have you ever thought about why you celebrate Mother’s Day?”

Surprised at the question, all three children retorted together, “Why daddy, because everyone does so!”

Daddy looked serious when he replied, “This is no solid reason, my dear ones, you should do it because of what you feel, not what others do.”

Just like these three kids, every year countless children shower their mothers with love, extra care and gifts on Mother’s Day, without having a clear reason of why they are doing so. Today, let us discuss how and when this celebration started and the reasons behind making this day special for mums.

The history of Mother’s Day

Mother’s Day celebrations started on a small scale in 1905, when an American girl Anna Jarvis, after the death of her mum, made efforts to annually dedicate a day in recognition of mothers’ unconditional love, kindness and sacrifices for their children. Slowly, her concept gained momentum and Mother’s Day became a universal way of revering mothers on a particular day every year. In most countries of the world, this day is celebrated on the second Sunday of May.

I am sad to say this, but Mother’s Day has become an opportunity for brands, florists, bakers and similar retailers to make as much money as they can. By offering fake Mother’s Day sales, promotions and discounts, they lure people to spend unnecessarily. Dear friends, I advise you not to walk into this trap. A simple gift, a handmade card and a flower picked from your garden would be as valuable for mum as an expensive gift. It is the appreciation of her love, care and dedication which will make her happy and not how much you have spent on her.

Why should you make mother feel special?

Dear friends, although you have tried to make Mother’s Day special by giving your mother extra care and love on this particular day, please give me the liberty to say that this is not enough. In fact, it is only like a drop in an ocean.

Have you ever thought about why your mother is so special? A mother is one of the best gifts our Creator has given us. She is an epitome of sacrifice, selfless care, patience and hard work. Your first memory is usually about her — her loving face, her soothing voice as she shoos away your fears and her tender touch when you are in pain. Her kindness knows no limits and she toils for your comfort day in and day out, without a word of complaint.

If you consider her the most special and cherished person in your life, start thinking in a new way. You can repay her efforts, although partially, by telling her time and again how special she is for you and also show these feelings through your acts.

Realise that mums are not robots

Friends, do you realise that all of you enjoy vacations, have leisure time to relax and pursue your hobbies, and stay in bed late on Sundays or whenever you feel like it, but mothers seldom get this luxury. Please remember that she is not a robot with no feelings, who doesn’t yearn for respite from daily chores, to go visit friends/relatives or rest when she is feeling tired or unwell.

It is inbuilt in a mother’s nature that she considers herself to be her last priority. Unless and until she is too sick to get out of bed, she will keep carrying on her routine work. She will cancel her plans when she feels her kids’ needs are more important than her leisure. She will sacrifice her sleep and stay up at night when a child is ill, but go on as usual the next morning with her daily routine.

Tell her time and again that you are grateful to her for making life so comfortable for you, at the cost of her unending labour. Only an understanding word from you will wipe away her fatigue and she will feel happy and content.

Mothers are pure love

If you can witness the purest form of love in this world, it is surely a mum’s feelings for her kids, which cannot be compared with any other emotion. She strives for the best where her children’s lives are concerned, whether it is appropriate schooling, teaching them good manners or how to face life’s ups and downs. She keeps aside the best serving of food for you, while she herself is content with leftovers she takes out from the fridge.

When she goes for shopping, your needs are always foremost for her. Whether it is a new dress, a new pair of shoes or something she has wanted to buy for months, she will adjust your requirements in the budget before hers. It is so wisely said that a mother can play multiple roles to fill the gaps in her child’s life, and there is no one who can take her place Famous English novelist George Eliot says, “Life began with waking up and loving my mother’s face.”

Mothers are our mentors

Who is the person who held your finger reassuringly when you were learning to walk? Who is the one who nurtured trust and good feelings in you, the one who taught you manners, took care of your needs, and, above all, imparted in you the sense of differentiating between right and wrong? Your mum, of course!

She urges you to perform your best in every walk of life and encourages you to pursue and achieve your goals. She may be strict at times and may even scold you when you have broken her rules, but you must know that it is only for your own good. Instead of sulking or misbehaving, you should be quick to say sorry and promise to be more careful in the future.

This Mother’s Day I would like to give a few simple suggestions about how you can try to repay your mothers’ love and care, on all days of the year.

Always be polite to your mother

When children are in their teens, they tend to be moody. Often, in their quest for independence, they grudge their mum’s intervention in their lives, taking it to be a breach to their privacy. If your mother asks questions, it is because she is concerned about your well-being and safety. Instead of being disrespectful, try to understand her point of you. Love, respect and obedience are every mother’s right and though she seldom complains, she is deeply hurt when she is denied these feelings.

Mothers usually love to express their love by hugging or kissing her children, but there may be times when she is depressed, not feeling well or is upset at something. Even if she scolds you for the wrong reasons, don’t talk back. You will never understand how hurt she is when you are rude or disrespectful. Wait for her to get back to normal and then you can ask her why her mood was not good. See what you can do to help her or relieve her stress. It may be an extra tiring day, concern about a sick parent or maybe she is just feeling blue. If you let her know that you understand and are willing to help, you will strengthen your bond with her.

Understand that you are one generation ahead of her

Often I am irritated to see memes or videos making fun of parents, especially mothers. Life has leapt ahead drastically from the times she was your age. Growing up in a world with no internet or the gadgets, she has not seen and experienced some of the things that you have. Her simple nature or inability to change with times should be respected. Her values, the traditions she follows diligently and the way she perceives life may clash with your views. But instead of making fun or scoffing at her, discuss in a friendly manner where you or she need to change. Try to meet each other halfway. This will make your mum happy and content.

Respect your mother’s financial limitations

Every mother has dreams for her child. Even when you were a vulnerable baby in her arms, not able to do anything on your own, she started making big plans for you. She wanted to provide you with the best possible of everything. But at times life is tougher than we expect it to be. A big house, the best school in town, branded clothes, a new car, holiday trips every year, are things most parents dream of, but cannot provide to their kids.

Usually children fear their fathers and are not very frank with them, but with mums, with whom they can talk about everything. Don’t hurt your mother by giving examples of friends or relatives who are more affluent than your family, a friend who has got a new cell phone, or who is going for vacation abroad. Be content with what your parents could afford for you, even if you yearn for better. Promise your mum that when you start a career, you will provide her with all the luxuries she opted to give up for the sake of your education and well-being.

Cherishing mums is a life-long obligation

Your mother should be made to feel that she is special each and every day of your life. Celebrating Mother’s Day is a norm you all follow lovingly. I am not against it, but will you believe me that as a child, I had never heard about this day? Does that mean that I didn’t love or respect my Ammi? Obviously my reply will be a big “No”.

I cherished her as much as you all do yours, maybe even more, obeyed her rules without an argument and tried my best to make her proud of me. Even though she is around no more, her guidance, advice, wisdom and values are like a shining lighthouse in the rough seas of life. She is still my mentor, my consolation in sorrow, my hope in misery and my strength in weak moments!

Published in Dawn, Young World, May 13th, 2023