The first thing she did when she returned home from school was take a look in the mirror. Her dark brown hair flowed in wavy locks down her back. Her dark complexion and her belongings, none of which were as good as what her classmates had. She would look at her classmate’s straight, honey-coloured hair in awe, wishing she had the same.

It was the special time of the year when everyone returned to school after the Eid holidays, hands embellished with henna and hair straightened out from a salon, which some even dyed platinum or blonde. She wished she could get her hair dyed in a pretty colour, just as some of her friends had. Such thoughts enveloped her until her mother called her name.

“Sarah, come downstairs for lunch.”

She walked out of her room with a disappointed look on her face. She was disappointed in herself — why couldn’t she be like all the others? Why wasn’t she light-skinned? Why wasn’t her hair straight and long? Why were her eyes so dark brown? Couldn’t they be lighter?

She had seen her friends fawn over another’s hazel-coloured eyes; how she was green with envy seeing that. At that moment, she felt that she had no features worth complimenting. Self-confidence meant nothing to her then; all she wanted were golden hair, green eyes, light skin and a slim body, and she would be content then. Downstairs, Sarah sat on one of the chairs at the dinner table, holding her head in her hands. Her head was a whirl of thoughts.

“What’s wrong, beta?” asked her mother upon seeing Sarah in such a state.

Sarah looked up at her. She found her features to match her mother’s. The same dark brown wavy hair, the same dark tan skin and the same dark eyes. Yet she looked happy and content with what she had. Sarah wondered how and murmured a small “I’m fine,” under her breath with a sigh.

Her mother, obviously concerned with this behaviour, asked her again, “Are you okay, Sarah beta? Did something happen at school? You can talk to me, you know?”

Upon hearing these words, Sarah felt like, for once, she could open up. After gaining some courage, Sarah told her mother she was unsatisfied with her looks.

Her mother let out a little chuckle. “What’s wrong with how you look?”

Sarah told her about how her friends had dyed their hair in pretty colours and how some had hazel-coloured eyes and most had ivory-toned skin.

“They’re so pretty, mama; they look so nice at school and on social media. They’re perfect, every aspect of them — their hair, hands, skin and eyes. They have nice jewellery and accessories, and the prettiest clothes. They’re slimmer than I am. Mum, they’re perfect. They have everything!”

“Beta, do you think you’re not? You’re a perfect girl. Why do you want to be like others? You should just be yourself. People like you better that way!” Sarah didn’t like this response.

“Mum, I don’t think I’m pretty. I’m going to dye my hair. That way, I’ll be more noticed at school. I’m dying them blonde; I’ll go to the salon with my friend tomorrow after school,” Sarah said as she got up from her seat and went to her room in a rage. She picked up her cell phone and texted her best friend that she would be coming with her to the hair salon after school the next day. She couldn’t wait for tomorrow! She took her pocket money, put it in her bag and took a nap immediately.

She was woken up in the evening by her mother for dinner. By that time, her father had returned home. She greeted him and entered the kitchen to help her mother serve the food. Sarah was in a good mood; she would finally be the one who people would envy instead of the one who was jealous of others. She set the plates and the bowl of curry on the dinner table, then the bread and salad. She set it all up and called her father for dinner. She ate her food excitedly.

“Sarah, what are you so excited about?” her father asked.

“Baba, I will get my hair dyed blond tomorrow after school! I’m so excited about it; my friends will envy me!” her father looked at her with a disapproving sigh.

“Beta, there is no need for that. You are such a pretty girl; look at your hair! They’re such a beautiful chestnut brown, just like your mother’s. Any girl would be envious of your hair! You don’t need to dye them at all,” he tried to explain to Sarah.

Sarah listened to her father’s words and realised that he was right — her hair was a really pretty dark brown. She reconsidered the salon trip the next day, but eventually decided to stick to her plan.

After dinner, she gathered the plates, took them to the kitchen, and then retreated to her room. She packed her bag, ironed her uniform and slept, awaiting the next day.

After a long and tiring day at school, it was finally pack-up time. She hurriedly rushed to her best friend, who had been waiting for her. They both walked the short distance to the hair salon, talking about how their day had been. When they entered the salon, the odour of bleaching agents and dye hit Sarah. She hadn’t gotten approval from her parents yet, so she was getting a little nervous. However, she went ahead. They waited for around 20 minutes until her name was called. Excitedly, she rushed to the stylist’s compartment and looked at her options. Platinum, blonde golden, there were so many to choose from! After a while, she asked the stylist what hair colour would be best for her.

To her surprise, the stylist complimented her natural hair. She appreciated its brown undertones and told her how much it suited her complexion. After some consideration, the stylist recommended a shade close to her natural hair colour.

Disappointed, Sarah asked, “Can’t I go for a lighter shade? Maybe blonde?”

To which the stylist replied that those hair colours would not suit her well. At that moment, she once again thought about how her parents had told her that she was naturally beautiful. She remembered her father’s words, and finally, she recalled how beautiful her mother was, in her natural beauty, just because she had a bright and confident personality.

When these thoughts hit her, she got off the stylist’s chair and asked to cancel the appointment. She walked to the reception, return the payment slip and got her money bag. She then told her friend to get up since they were leaving.

That day, she walked home with a lot of thoughts in mind. She realised her mother was so pretty, because she embraced her natural beauty instead of dying her hair or doing dramatic treatments to her skin. She recalled how her mother would never wear contact lenses, because she was so proud of her natural eye colour, a staple in their family’s heritage. When she reached home, her mother asked her what happened and why didn’t she get the hair colour done.

Sarah was feeling confident and proud of herself, she was happy that she reconsidered the drastic idea and cancelled her plan before it was too late.

“Mum, I have realised that my natural beauty is far superior to artificial treatments or colours. Allah has made everyone perfect. I have realised that my natural features are a way to signify my heritage, respect my ancestors and appreciate my identity,” Sarah said with a sheepish smile.

Published in Dawn, Young World, June 24th, 2023