Ihad never truly appreciated the beauty of our world until that moment when the train began its 86-hour journey. Accompanying me on this trip was my elder sister. Now, let me be honest, our relationship has never been the best. She has always had a bossy demeanour, which created further conflict between us after the tragic loss of our parents two years ago.

Despite the mere three-year age difference, she acted as if she had the authority to control my life and assume the role of the “head of the house”.

After staying at our grandparents’ house in Toronto, Canada, we decided to take a tour of the whole country, since it was our first time there. We would spend three days on our journey, watching the countryside scenery from Toronto to Vancouver. I wanted to go alone or take my friends with me, but my sister always tagged along everywhere I went.

I plugged in my headphones and scanned the fellow passengers around me, allowing the music to flow through my ears while I stared out the window, appreciating the picturesque landscapes. I usually like fast trains, but for once, I wanted the train to slow down so I could just gaze at those lush green fields and mountains. I checked my watch, and it was almost sunset. Excitedly, I took out my phone to capture the most beautiful sunset I was about to witness.

The sky blended between yellow, orange and blue hues, with the clouds intermingling. The sun was still peeking from behind one of the mountains, and the sky gradually changed into a range of dark colours. The whole scene was breathtaking and comforting. I took off my headphones and prepared to take a nap. I looked at my sister, she was already sleeping or pretending to sleep, probably to avoid talking to me. I hugged the heart-shaped cushion that I brought with me.

This cushion had been with me since I was a little kid. It was like my closest friend, always providing comfort. I decided to take a nap, and after what felt like an hour, I woke up to muffled crying.

It was my sister holding a picture. At first, I couldn’t clearly see, but then I recognised the picture. It was our mum and dad holding both of us. I had never seen my sister cry. She was always this strong person who preferred showing no emotions at all. She turned around to check up on me, and I abruptly closed my eyes and pretended to sleep. The next moment, she slowly sat beside me and unknowingly poured out her heart to me, thinking I was still sleeping.

“My dear, you’re the most important person in my life, and I never want to lose you. I am sorry for being tough on you, but it’s because I want to give you the best of everything. I know it hasn’t been easy for you, but I promise that once we’re back home, I’ll find a job so I can provide you with all the things you deserve, and ensure that you never have to endure hardships again.”

She stood up and walked out to the other cabin. I waited for some time before opening my eyes. What I heard was truly unbelievable for me, as I never thought my sister could have such a tender heart. It was only then that I realised that I had been selfish. I wasn’t the only one suffering the loss of our parents, and being the elder sister, she felt a responsibility to look after me.

“Are you hungry?” she asked as she returned and saw me awake, lost in my thoughts. Her tears were gone and she was that strong, stubborn girl again. “They have some really tasty pancakes. Do you want to try them?”

I rushed towards her and embraced her tightly, holding onto her like I hold my favourite cushion. She responded with a gentle hug, not uttering a word, as if she had been longing for this embrace all along. In that moment, I realised that I wasn’t alone. It was my own misunderstanding that had blinded me, but now clarity had returned.

Published in Dawn, Young World, July 15th, 2023