THOUGH the news never made it big in social circles here, a young Muslim bride in a far-flung village of Kerala’s Malappuram district across the border, instead of jewellery, gold or cash, demanded 50 books from her would-be husband as mehr, which a husband must pay or promise to pay in the shape of money or possessions to the bride.

Hailing from a family known for its progressive thinking, the bride decided to break away from the stereotypical approach to materialism and opted to take the intellectual route. The incident had a symbolic value and the couple did make a pertinent point.

In contrast, our society, among many others, faces a lack of appetite for learning, while those who do have a burning desire to learn cannot fulfil their dreams for lack of learning opportunities. While we have a serious dearth of libraries, books in this part of the world have been so costly that now even those in the upper middle social class cannot afford to buy them.

It was the bride’s love for knowledge and her disdain for material possessions that she made a rather unconventional request to her future husband. This unusual demand caused quite a stir among the families and the community at large. The groom, taken aback by the bride’s unique request, initially struggled to comprehend the significance behind it. However, recognising her unwavering dedication to education against gold-obsessed people in Malappuram, he wholeheartedly embraced the idea.

The groom embarked on a remarkable journey to fulfil his bride’s wish. Armed with the list of books provided by his soon-to-be wife, the groom scoured bookstores, libraries and even reached out to his friends and relatives for help in search of books for his wife.

The village community, inspired by the couple’s audacity to challenge social norms, rallied behind them, offering support and contributing to the growing collection of books for this new and noble cause. Days turned into weeks and weeks into months as the groom tirelessly pursued the elusive volumes.

The groom encountered countless obstacles along the way as the wish-list included rare books that were out of print, limited editions that were held by private collectors, and books written in foreign languages. But fuelled by love and a shared vision for a brighter future, he remained undeterred.

Meanwhile, the bride’s choice of mehr began to resonate with people far and wide. News of their unique wedding gift spread like wildfire, capturing the attention of both traditionalists and reformists alike. Social media platforms buzzed with conversations about the couple, with many commending their courage to challenge social norms and promoting the pursuit of knowledge over material possessions.

Finally, the long-awaited day arrived. The groom, with immense pride and joy, presented his bride with a collection of 50 books, carefully selected and acquired through months of unwavering dedication. The bride’s face radiated with delight and gratitude, as she held in her hands the fruits of their joint endeavour.

This extraordinary couple not only shattered stereotypes, but also sparked a much-needed conversation about the importance of education. Their story served as an inspiration, igniting a wave of change throughout the region. In the months that followed, other couples began adopting similar approaches, opting for meaningful and non-materialistic wedding gifts that promoted personal growth and shared values.

The practice of giving books in wedding transactions gained traction, replacing the age-old tradition of exchanging material possessions. The bride and groom became symbols of hope, heralding a new era where relationships were built on love, shared ideals and a thirst for knowledge.

The defiance against the traditional system shown by the couple had far-reaching consequences, dismantling entrenched societal norms and inspiring countless others to challenge the status quo in the Indian state of Kerala. By choosing books, they not only celebrated the beauty of literature, but also set in motion a revolution of thoughts and values.

We always complain about lack of learning opportunities in society. What this Indian couple did is certainly what we can emulate. Will we be able to do that? Will we actually want to do that? Will the parents allow our future brides to do that? Will the parents of our future grooms withstand the social pressure and allow their sons to do that?

Rehmat Aziz Khan
Chitral

Published in Dawn, September 7th, 2023