November 12, 2023, Aitchisonia-upon-Chenab: “It is we who are the victims. It is we who are being forced to defend our values, our traditions, our existence, in today’s blatantly anti-Cliftonian global environment,” said National Icon and Hope Nazir Jr, at a special event held to celebrate the opening of the International Cliftonian Museum of Enlightened Rationalism.

The gala event, attended by eminent Cliftonians from around the world, saw a number of highly evolved individuals speak up for the protection of Cliftonian rights and the urgent need to eradicate non-Cliftonian ones. 

“I say it like it is and that is why I am so admired by my fellow Cliftonians,” said Nazir Jr, Chairman-for-Life of his own political party.

“There are wolves and there are sheep and we, my dear compatriots, must never forget that we are wolves, created and ordained by the Divine to lead, rule, and evade all manner of accountability. This museum, therefore, is a testament to our raison d’etre. It will serve as a beacon of hope for future generations.

The International Cliftonian Museum of Enlightened Rationalism celebrates the icons of Cliftonia and their real inspirational quotes

“We have had enough of kowtowing to the weak, the marginalised, the destitute and the egregiously oppressed. Their desperate plight is making us look like the monsters we are and we cannot have that… after all, we are the children of light! The true inheritors of the age of enlightenment! The descendants of rationalists!” he said.

Chairman Nazir Jr said he was delighted to see the museum choc-a-bloc with inspirational quotes from distinguished Cliftonians.

“I loved seeing my good friend Donald Trump represented in the Children of Light section. His contribution to the ongoing Palestinian crisis cannot be underestimated: “I kept my promise, recognised Israel’s eternal capital, and opened the American Embassy in Jerusalem. I also recognise Israeli sovereignty over the Golan Heights. I’ve been talking about it for 72 years, I got it done in about 12 minutes,” reads the quote on the wall dedicated to Trump’s peace overtures and passion for racial equality and non-violence.

“I also bought a cool T-shirt that says ‘I am a Zionist!’ echoing the words of Joe Biden, the current liberally democratic President of America,” added Nazir Jr.

Featured in the Immortal White Colossus section, a stately bust of Sir Winston Churchill, a true hero of fact-driven, centrist, realpolitiking Cliftonians, can be seen accompanied by the words: “I do not apologise for the takeover of the region by the Jews from the Palestinians in the same way I don’t apologise for the takeover of America by the whites from the Red Indians or the takeover of Australia from the blacks. It is natural for a superior race to dominate an inferior one…. I do not admit that the dog in the manger has the final right to the manger, though he may have lain there for a very long time, I do not admit that right.”

Another quote by Sir Winston, named the ‘Greatest Briton of All Time’ in 2002, helps shed light on the sensibilities behind the West’s backing of Israeli war crimes in Gaza. Said he: “I am strongly in favour of using poisoned gas against uncivilised tribes. The moral effect should be so good that the loss of life should be reduced to a minimum. It is not necessary to use only the most deadly gases: gases can be used which cause great inconvenience and would spread a lively terror and yet would leave no serious permanent effects on most of those affected.”

As a globally-renowned anchor person — and a Jonty Rhodes scholar — Cliftonia Ali found great resonance in the following Cecil Rhodes quote featured in the Glorious White Saviour section: “I contend that we are the finest race in the world and that the more of the world we inhabit, the better it is for the human race. Just fancy those parts that are at present inhabited by the most despicable specimens of human beings. What an alteration there would be if they were brought under Anglo-Saxon influence, look again at the extra employment a new country added to our dominions gives.”

Anti-status quo revolutionary Jimmy Jirga was pleased to see his modern-day heroes Bill Maher and Sam Harris included in the Contemporary White Knights section with their highly evolved take on Muslims. Maher is seen eloquently explaining his intellectually arrived at opinion of Muslims thus: “Because they’re violent. Because they threaten us. And they are threatening. They bring that desert stuff to our world …”

Meanwhile, Harris advises the world to “profile Muslims, or anyone who looks like he or she could conceivably be Muslim, and we should be honest about it.”

“These two Western liberal, rational, non-believers prove why Thucydides was right when he opined that ‘the strong do what they can and the weak suffer what they must’. By God, what a quintessentially Cliftonian thing to say!” Jimmy Jirgu enthused.

Farid Alvie was born.
He currently lives.
He’s on X @faridalvie

Published in Dawn, EOS, November 12th, 2023