Dear Auntie,
I am a thirteen-year-old boy. I am my mother’s only son. She supports me a lot in education. She also loves me a lot. But there is a problem. I am usually busy on school days, but on Saturdays and Sundays I don’t know how to manage time. So, I ask my mom what to do. She gives me plenty of chores and tasks to do. I do them. But I don’t get time to play.

When I ask my mom if I can play, she says: ‘In the evening.’ But in the evening also, she doesn’t allow me to play. I think this is the reason why I don’t get good grades. This has been going on for a long time.

Unlike my cousins and friends, who get time to play and go to enjoy in different places, my mom rarely takes me to different places. She takes me out once or twice in a year!

My mom thinks studying 24 hours can get me good grades. But I think a fresh mind can help me memorise better and get good grades. In my free time I can’t play, so I use my mobile phone, but my mother gets angry. So I just lie down and don’t know what to do.

My timetable is that I go to school at 7am and come back at 2pm. After that, I am free for two hours. Then, I go for tution at 4pm and come back at 6pm, which is Maghrib time. After that, it’s nightfall. I am free from 2pm to 4pm, but it is too hot to play. What should I do to make my mother take me to different places and allow more playtime?
Locked-Up Student

‘My Mother Doesn’t Let Me Play’

Dear Locked-Up Student,
You’re feeling overwhelmed and stuck in your current routine. It’s important to balance studying and fun because, as you have said, it can help you perform better academically and maintain your overall well-being.

It is time to sit down with your mom and explain how you’re feeling. Let her know that you understand the importance of studying, but also that you need some time to relax and play. Tell her that a balanced routine will likely help you do better in school. 

Go a step further and make a schedule. Include time for chores, study and play. For example, after school, you could do your chores for an hour, then study, and have some playtime in the evening. Show it to your mom and ask for her input.

Since it really is very hot to play outside for much of the day, especially these days, so I would suggest that you look for indoor activities that you enjoy, such as reading, drawing, playing board games or other indoor games. 

Suggest to your mother that your family could plan outings together, even if it’s just once a month. You don’t necessarily need to rent a fancy farmhouse for this. It could be something much simpler, such as a picnic at a park or a visit to an amusement park, which would provide a good break from routine. 

Since you are asking for more playtime, I’d suggest that you demonstrate to your mom that you can manage your time well and take responsibility for your studies and chores. When she sees that you are serious about your commitments, she may be more open to giving you some free time.

When you have your free time, try to engage in activities that can help refresh your mind, such as exercise, reading a book or practising a hobby.

By talking to your mother and showing her that you can be responsible, you can help her understand your needs better.

Disclaimer: If you or someone you know is in crisis and/or feeling suicidal, please go to your nearest emergency room and seek medical help immediately.

Auntie will not reply privately to any query. Please send concise queries to: auntieagni@gmail.com

Published in Dawn, EOS, July 14th, 2024