Dear Auntie,
I am a 22-year-old guy, working hard to clear the Central Superior Services (CSS) exam. The problem I am grappling with is being overconfident, as pointed out by my partner and my father.

Recently, I cleared the CSS-MPT, an MCQ-based preliminary test, which one needs to qualify for the main written examination. I barely got passing marks and, when I saw the results, I was shocked — one less mark and all my dreams would have been shattered.

I don’t know what I do or say that makes me appear overconfident. I don’t want to be like this, as it is stopping me from working harder. Whenever I perform well, I feel satisfied that I can do it, which I discuss with my partner and my father. However, both my loved ones ask me not to be overconfident.

Please first, tell me how to determine if I am overconfident, and then how to address it.
Striving for Success 

‘My Loved Ones Think I’m Overconfident’

Dear Striving for Success,
Congratulations on qualifying for the CSS-MPT! That’s a huge achievement and you should be proud of yourself. The very fact that you’re reflecting on your behaviour and reaching out for advice shows that you have a willingness to learn.

It’s important to differentiate between confidence and overconfidence. Confidence is believing in your ability, while also understanding that you need to continue making the effort. Overconfidence, on the other hand, can make you underestimate the challenges or even feel like you are invincible, which can hinder your growth.

One way to stay grounded is to focus more on your actions than on talking about them. Let your progress speak for itself. You could, of course, share your success with loved ones, but do so with humility, focusing on the lessons learned and the work ahead.

Sometimes overconfidence is about perception and how others are interpreting your actions. You might come across as someone who is dismissive of challenges or is seeking too much validation. Ask your father and partner for specific examples of what they think makes you look overconfident. This will help you understand their perspective better.

At the same time, focus on balancing your confidence. It’s fine to recognise your success, but it should be tempered with an acknowledgement of the hard work ahead. Passing the MPT was a milestone, but the written exam will demand even more effort. Your close call with the MPT results is a reality check, which should motivate you to prepare fully for the upcoming exam. Celebrate your achievements at a personal level but also divert your energy into areas that need improvement.

Your confidence should motivate you, not make you complacent. Stay humble by recognising that success comes from a combination of ability, effort and, also, a little luck or, as some call it, divine support. Let your loved ones know you appreciate their feedback and are working on finding the right balance. Best of luck with your upcoming exam!

Disclaimer: If you or someone you know is in crisis and/or feeling suicidal, please go to your nearest emergency room and seek medical help immediately.

Auntie will not reply privately to any query. Please send concise queries to: auntieagni@gmail.com

Published in Dawn, EOS, December 29th, 2024