MY daughter, who is seven and a half, is my latest teacher. She is in grade two. She gets a fair bit of homework and she is kind enough that she lets me sit with her when she is doing her homework. I started sitting with her to see if she needed any help. But now I sit with her largely to learn from her.

She likes some subjects more than others. It is not clear to me why that is the case. Some of it has to do with where she feels she has more competence. Tackling ‘difficult’ problems in areas where she feels she is doing well gives her more satisfaction I feel. But this does not answer the whole question. Why does she have more competence or perceived competence in some subjects and not others? Is that due to current or past teachers? Does liking a teacher make a difference in liking a subject at this stage? Since she does not like discussing her teachers and her likes and dislikes, and I do not want to probe, I cannot really say what her likes and dislikes, about subjects, are based on. But it does raise the issue for me, as a parent and as an educationist, about how important, potentially, choice of teacher is at early stages of learning development.

Sometimes she is enthusiastic about doing her homework, asks for it herself, and then devours it. At others, it is a chore to get her to do homework. Are these just mood swings? Or does it have to do with whether she enjoyed doing the classwork on the said subject earlier in the day? Is it the state of tiredness that determines the mood? I have not been able to discern much of a pattern here. But getting her to do homework when she is not enthusiastic is a chore. I wonder if that will create any dislike for academic work for her. But, since homework has to be done within a timeframe given by the school, there are bound to be times when she will be forced to sit and do it. There must be a way to resolve the issue but I have not come to that as yet. If people have ideas, please do share.

I do not like the idea of using extrinsic rewards to make her do her homework. I do not say ‘you can watch cartoons for x time if you finish your work’ etc. This, it seems to me, takes away from creating intrinsic worth of education and learning. I do try to tell her why learning something is important. But, this is hardly, if ever, successful in changing her mood. Sometimes, though, it is enough to make her sit and slog through.

Our children should learn to not feel ashamed or embarrassed at making mistakes.

She gets tired after about 40-45 minutes of continuous work. I use 10-15 minute breaks every 40-45 minutes to let her recover. But it can only be done once. Anyway, forcing a young child to work for more than 80-odd minutes (two sets of 40 minutes each) seems too much to me so only one break is needed. It is important to come back from the break on time or the break becomes the end of homework as well. The 10-15 minutes of listening to music, walking around, or reading her storybook really refreshes her a lot.

When I learnt addition, subtraction and multiplication, repetition was the key idea. The new ways in which children are being taught, with more variety of explanations, with material that is a lot more interesting, and with audio-visual aids as well, I am enjoying learning addition, subtraction again too. And basics of English and Urdu as well, especially grammar. The materials and methods have evolved a lot indeed, and, largely, for the better. Reliance on rote, at least in the school she is in, is a lot less.

My daughter does not like making mistakes at all. She is embarrassed about them. Despite my best efforts, I have so far failed to explain to her the value of making mistakes in learning. We learn a lot more from our mistakes then from our successes. But I have not been able to convince her of their value.

Once a mistake is made, the feelings of embarrassment are so strong that she does not focus on understanding why she made the mistake so that she can learn from them more effectively. She just corrects them and moves on. I wish schools and teachers would dwell on this more. Our children should learn to not feel ashamed or embarrassed at making mistakes. They should be risk-takers who try their best but if a mistake is made, they can openly accept them and then use the opportunity to learn from them. I am struggling to get this across still and have to find the right vocabulary and concepts to explain this: my limitation.

It is fascinating to see her starting to make connections across concepts in the same subject and sometimes even across concepts coming from different subjects. Recently she connected addition and multiplication.

If questions on her homework are too easy for her, she just breezes through them and, I feel, does not learn much by doing them. If they are too difficult, she gets frustrated if she has to try very hard and long to get them. This is especially true as she starts tiring. She is the happiest, sharpest and keenest when they are difficult enough to make her think but not too difficult so that she cannot get to the correct method for answering them. The hardest of the teacher dilemmas when setting questions! And especially because a teacher has many students in a class, each at a different level of learning. How can one homework work for all? So, most days most questions fall in one or the other category and it is only a few that provide effective learning.

I am learning so much from my new teacher and am fascinated by how her learning is taking place. I am sure most parents must be seeing the same process. I thought I would take the opportunity to point out some of these things. If readers have other interesting observations to share from their experience, I look forward to hearing from all of you.

The writer is a senior research fellow at the Institute of Development and Economic Alternatives, and an associate professor of economics at Lums.

Published in Dawn, January 3rd, 2025